Those damn hip-hop police. They’re never there when you really need them.
From what I understand, they’re all over New York, preventing rappers from even getting into their own shows, but they somehow failed to prevent that guy Dolla from getting shot in the head in the mall, out in LA.
(On the outside chance anyone gives a shit, I saw this story about how they wouldn’t let long since forgotten St. Louis rapper Huey open for Nelly, because people might be trying to kill him. Remember that song “Pop, Lock and Drop It?”)
It could be that 5-0 had no idea who Dolla was. I hadn’t heard of him until he died the other day, and I stay reading about hip-hop on the Internets. It’s kinda my job – though I’ll admit I do have a certain perceptual vigilance about acknowledging anything that looks like it’s purposely designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Maybe some of his shit was posted on Cocaine Blunts, I saw it, and was like, fuck this shit, and went back to looking at pr0n or whatever.
I’d insist that, before he died, this guy Dolla wasn’t any more famous than I am, but you guys know I tend to be conceited. I’m still reeling over the fact that Ashley Logan suggested that Red Cafe is more famous than I am. I put it up to an unofficial poll on my own site, and of course hardly anyone had heard of Red Cafe. I could almost certainly make her more famous than he has, if she’d still be interested. I know I’d be, pending the results of tests for various STDs.
No but really, I think this Dolla story has had more “legs” than I ever would have guessed it would, due to social networking. Twitter, in particular. As far as I know, this is the first time a rapper has been killed since a lot of hip-hop heads got on Twitter. Not to sound like that guy, but I’ve been on Twitter since the summer of ’07. The law of averages would suggest that a few rappers have bit the dust since then, but there probably wasn’t anyone on there who gave a shit. Now it’s overrun with the kind of people who light a candle any time anyone remotely famous dies. You know, Bovine America.
I can only imagine what it’ll be like when anything important actually happens now with everyone (who matters) on Twitter. Like, if a real celebrity is killed, or there’s another terrorist attack. To date, maybe the biggest thing that’s happened is when that plane went in the Hudson. Wait, I know what’s gonna happen. Twitter’s gonna get overloaded and stop working. The damn fail whale’s gonna show up.
My bad, if you have no idea what I’m talking about. Now, where was I? Ah yes, this guy Dolla. It just so happens that Dolla joined Twitter like an hour before he got killed. He posted two tweets (if you will): one about how he was trying out Twitter (as if), and one instructing us to check out his MySpace. Then he headed off to the mall to get himself some of those tight jeans kids wear these days, and the rest, as they say, is history.
So, the next day, in addition to the usual stories about how a guy who once had a song with T-Pain got shot and killed at the Beverly Center, there was a buncha stories on tech sites about how an artist got killed a mere matter of hours after joining Twitter. They say it could have become a huge clusterfuck for Twitter, if he’d mentioned that he was on his way to the mall. It would have raised a number of issues about privacy, crime and what have you. In that sense, it’s a good thing he never had a chance to figure out what Twitter is for.
As far as why there won’t be any more updates to Dolla’s feed, I’m not sure. I’ve seen a couple of pictures of him wearing red, which suggests he might be a member of the Bloods. Then there’s the fact that he was signed to Akon’s label, and one of those Africans Akon runs with kicked the living shit out of Suge a few months ago. Would having your ass handed to you by an African trump belonging to the same gang? You guys know I learned everything I know about the code of the streets from watching 60 Minutes. Anyway, I’m sure the hip-hop police are on the case.