The Best I Ever Heard…

kellz

You still can’t see this nigga!

I will admit that I don’t really fux with the boy Drake. I recognize he is talented and he has a devoted group of followers on these here internets but I’m just not into dude like that. Because of his talent and his youth I think he would be a dope addition to the Frat Rap Pack supergroup of Kid Cudi, Asher Roth and Bobby Ray. That shit is just a made up supergroup on this blog though and not something that I think will actually happen. Of all those rappers I just named Drake might be the hottest in the game right now.

Asher Roth fell off the map coincidentally with the return of Eminem and the opening of his Twitter mouf. Kid Cudi is in Hawaii right now after catching a little buzz from the ‘Sky Might Fall’ x Transformers 2 video that was being circulated on the web. Bobby Ray is… I’m not really sure what B.o.B.’s story is but I will be in Atlanta doing some reporting so maybe I will get some insight on his future projects. Drake stays on the radio though. I’m not sure how that was pulled off but it was.

Drake is the next level of internets superstar to be pushed out into the mainstream. The Asher Roth experiment proved that internets buzz isn’t valuable for realtime, real life sales figures. The internets don’t buy CD’s no matter what the people say in the comments threads. Let’s be honest, who here is buying some shit they can get for free? The people handling Drake did well to put him on the radio. At least those people will buy a bootleg CD. I knew son was doing big things when my homey who doesn’t know shit about the web asked me to pass him some of Drake’s music.

Drake’s buzz even got the attention of the master of Rap & Bullshit, acquitted hebephile crooner Kellz has hopped on the ‘Best I Ever Had’ single. I don’t care what anyone says about this dude, Kellz makes the ladies toss their panties on the stage. Chicks would love for him to pee on them. Some dudes too. This is why dudes like Kellz, T-Pain, Wayne and T.I. don’t have to go to jail like the rest of us do. They make the soundtracks for all of our dysfunctional society foolishness. Without them we might have to actually listen to meaningful music.

R.Kelly is the godfather of the rap & bullshit genre of Hip-Hop music. He definitely gave birth to T-Pain’s lane. I’ve heard Kellz do tracks using auto-tune that have merc’ked anything that T-Pain has produced in his life. Keep in mind that R. Kelly can actually sing when he wants to. Plus he is like this idiot savant entertainer that comes alive when he is in the recording booth, yet he can’t conduct a coherent discussion anywhere else. As long as you keep Kellz away from a high school lunchroom you won’t have to worry too much about his appetite for destruction.

Kellz is a bad man with a microphone in his hand.

kellz
  • http://callmephlip.blogspot.com/ Phlip

    “Plus he is like this idiot savant entertainer that comes alive when he is in the recording booth, yet he can’t conduct a coherent discussion anywhere else.”

    *dead*

    When I read that, in my mind was playing
    “w-w-whaddya define as ‘teenage girls’?”

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Dear R. Kelly,

      While I think you’re a buffoon, & that girl’s father should have peed on you in return, I want to thank you for helping me get all the ass I got when I graduated high school. Thanks.

      Do yourself a favor though & save all the conversations for in the booth. In fact, anytime the media wants a word with you, go inside the booth, put on some headphones & pretend you’re doing a song. More savant, less idiot that way I’m sure. Again, thanks for convincing all those girls that it would be okay to slide me the dug out. You do owe me a little something, though, for that abortion that one time.

      Deuces,
      Tony Grand$

      • JCITYHUSTLA617

        LMMFAO @ You do owe me a little something, though, for that abortion that one time.

        HAHA

        NIGGA DID HAVE THAT BABY MAKING MUSIC BUT SINCE THE WHOLE URANATION INCIDENT PLUS THAT SHIT SANDWICH BEST OF BOTH WORLDS PART 2 I CANT FUCK WITH THE PIED PIPER NO MORE……………..PAUSE

        LOL IM STILL LAUGHIN AT THAT LETTER 2 KELLZ

      • $ykotic

        LOL @ Grand$

      • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

        Just checked out your blog man thanks for the shout out by the way! COMMISSION comes together like Megazord up in this jank!

  • DV8

    Kellz= SDN or Retarded Genius(if you will)

  • Around and Around

    Kellz has been killin it since 12 play, many of these cats were still pissing themselves when that came out.

    Just in case no homo

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      you need “born into the 90s” as well.

      don’t sleep!

      viiiiiiiiiiibe…

  • geico lizard

    “Chicks would love for him to pee on them. Some dudes too.”

    ^
    No fishsticks just in case. R Kelly has had some nice raps on those two best of both worlds albums. He didnt beat Jay Z but he was still entertaining. That song “get that money” Kellz did out rap twista and almost Jay Z.

  • Pierzy

    What up fam…

    R. Kelly as a human? Dog sh!t.

    R. Kelly as an artist? Hot sh!t.

    That’s all I got today…

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    WHY R.KELLY GOT OFF= MONEY TALKS BULLSHIT RUNS

    THAT NIGGA THE SHIT THO….NO R&B NIGGA GOT A TRACK RECORD LIKE R.KELLY

    (LEANS BACK AND TURNS “TEMPO SLO’ WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY THE FUCK UP, AND FEELS ON MY FEMALE CO-WORKERS BOOTY AS SHE WALKS BY TO GET A LOOK AT ME AGAIN,BUT ACTING LIKE SHE GOIN TO THE REST ROOM AGAIN))…

  • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

    I remember reading an interview on Kellz in a Vibe magazine about two years ago…ya’ll right, dude is a buffoon when he talks regularly. But he stay making them panty-dropping jams! Panties be so wet chicks gotta wring them shits out like a wet sponge! LOL

    Mint Condition can do the same thing though no lie!

    *Oh yeah and no fishsticks NOR homo tendencies*

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    fuck em with a sandpaper dick.

    wow. that’s amazing. might have to use that.

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    CO-SIGN ON THAT MINT CONDITION SHIT….. DON’T FORGET ABOUT H-TOWN AND GINUWINE OLD SHIT AND TYRESE OLD SHIT….

    (LEANS BACK AND TURNS “EMOTIONS” WAY WAY WYA WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY THE FUCK UP))

  • Chris Cash

    R.Kelly hasnt had a hit in years, dude isnt even a shadow of his old self and imo hes always been overrated.

    Sorry to disagree with everybody. (Thinks about it) Nah not really

  • HNIC

    “It ain’t nothin’ but an R. Kelly party, y’all… I sip Cris’… you drank piss.”

    Sorry, I had to do it.

    Why is it that some geniuses have the most demented imaginations?

  • Mutada al sader the king

    Dallas you really told the truth with this article and I will start following your work a little more closely now. With out a doubt R-Kelly is the one of the best if not the best R&B songwriter/singer of his generation. He’s surpassed all of his peers (Brian Mcknight, Joe, Babyface, etc) in the amount of work, the versatility, and success. Sure Mcknight is a better singer, sure Joe does his thing and no one can take away the tremendous success that Face and LA had in thier heyday of pop hits. But none of these dudes were able to stay relevant when the sound of music changed. Kellz was able to stay relevant and lead. I agree the dude goes strait rainman in the booth, and he probably has thousands of songs in the can.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Shit, it used to be that all you needed for a crossover hit was a Kelly chorus and verse. But, seriously though, I think these women today are a little put off by dude: I mean, he IS a freak…

    …or maybe it’s just who he is as a person, because just the other day this chick was letting me pis…you know what, nevermind–that was off topic.

    But, I don’t care about that dude’s a weirdo. I just don’t fuck with his music anymore because it’s like I been hearing him croon all over niggaz’ tracks for years–there ain’t nothing new or exciting about it.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • El Tico Loco

    I have a daughter I can’t and won’t support this cat, fuck the genius shit, dude’s sick.

    Bet he still chasing little girls,tombout “you gonna get iiit, you’re in trouuuble” Nah nigga more like URINE TROUBLE. Wasn’t he supposed to have had a song with Michael Jackson too?
    Guess it was a song for the children.

    • $ykotic

      “Wasn’t he supposed to have had a song with Michael Jackson too?
      Guess it was a song for the children.”

      BURN!

  • Pingback: Best of Both Worlds | We All Love Miley Cyrus

  • Dallas Penn

    I guess when I have a daughter I will understand how you dudes feel. Someone has to educate little girls about the powers of their pum-pum.

    Parents don’t do it.

    Little boys can’t tell little girls shit. That is why Charles Hamilton got his face opened up by a chick after he laid their business out in the streets.

    The only person that can tell these little girls about they pum-pum and NOT get them pregnant is R.Kelly

    • $ykotic

      Are you insinuating erectile dysfunction! LOL

      Be good, Penn!

  • Jamal7Mile

    “Come over here and let me take off your clothes/ The things I wanna do to yoooou, nobody has to know…” – R.Kelly, Sex Me

    “Seems like you’re reeaady…” – R.Kelly

    Two dope songs that took on a whole ‘nother meaning after the pedo-pr0ns came out. I’ve lost all of my Kellz CD’s but I think these two songs are both on 12 Play… the same time period that shows up on that illegal-to-possess pr0n DVD.

    AND he was married to (age 15) Aaliyah before all of this shit happened. Kelz is sick! Not sick meaning good, but sick meaning BAD (what’s up Jason, Darryl and Joe)!!

    But yeah, the man has talent. I just can’t enjoy his work the same way, or as much as, pre-TP-2.com.

    It is what it is…

  • Marcio de Moz

    Damn loco that song fo the chil’en comment had me crackin’

  • Marcio de Moz

    Kellz is that nigga no hawmo

  • El Tico Loco

    IMPORTANT NOTICE

    Anybody who’s high reading this stop waiting for the pics to load all the way, they’re like that on purpose.

  • Gerv

    Funniest and most truthful shit I have read all day!

  • Tyler

    Mr. Peen, enuff is enuff! I am now going at U like Rush Rush Limbaugh goin’ in on MSNBC & I hate ‘dat Nigga Rush. I bet U can’t go 30 days without mentioning Asher Roth. Dats my challenge 2 U sir & if U were in front of me right now, at this moment I would smack your face with a white glove. Do U accept?

  • http:www.zazzle.com/jtarichia J Tari

    Check out these T’s their fresh to death, with a conscious hip-hop
    style to them, you’ll definately be turning heads and standing out rocking them!
    Find your style!

    http://www.zazzle.com/jtarichia*

  • double j

    PARIS PERSHUN says:

    (LEANS BACK AND TURNS “TEMPO SLO’ WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY THE FUCK UP, AND FEELS ON MY FEMALE CO-WORKERS BOOTY AS SHE WALKS BY TO GET A LOOK AT ME AGAIN,BUT ACTING LIKE SHE GOIN TO THE REST ROOM AGAIN))…

    That WAY WAY WAY WAY always makes me laugh!

  • BIGNAT

    man i agree r kelly makes some good music that song real talk off double up. gets women mad because it’s so fucking true REAL TALK BITCHES.

    • BIGNAT

      also that tp2.com above all his other albums other than 12 play. man he got hits and all the stuff he did with ron isley was classic. make it rain was already a good song and kellz killed the remix.