It’s full on white rapper week over here at XXLMag.com if you haven’t noticed. (Make sure to peep our I Know Rap People [The White Edition] below) Inspired by one the most hilarious and truthful sites on the net, stuffwhitepeoplelike.com, I put together a list of the top five things melanin challenged MCs are most fond of.
(listed in no-particular order)
1. Drugs. While most rappers brag about how many drugs they sell, white rappers are known for boasting about how many drugs they consume. Sure most MCs talk about their undying love of weed, but how many black rappers do you know stunt about their first hand knowledge of dropping acid, popping pills and snorting Special K. Don’t get it twisted, Eminem ain’t the only drug obsessed whitey out there, he’s just the most famous. Former rival Cage – who was a prozac guinea pig in a mental facility in the 90s – made an entire disc devoted to his experiences on Angel Dust with Leak Brother and former Artifacts member Tame One. Paul Wall’s been sitting sideways, Lil Wyte was still getting crunk even while rapping about Xanax and Oxycotton and don’t forget about Necro’s anthem “I Need Drugs” – “I got crack on my mind, I’m hearing cocaine call…” I’m surprised Mizzle from Cam’ron’s Purple Haze album never got signed to deal.
2. Hip-Hop Culture. One thing white rappers pride themselves on is their extensive, encyclopedic knowledge of hip-hop culture. In fact I bet that white cat with the Triple 5 Soul hoody and new balances can name more members of the Juice Crew than you. It’s called overcompensation. They have to make up for not being black somehow. Rumor has it that MC Paul Barman wrote his college thesis on hip-hop and let’s not forget about 3rd Bass’ violent tirade against Vanilla Ice in “Pop Goes The Weasel” for their belief in his selling out of the movement.
Check out R.A. The Rugged Man schooling the youth on rap’s golden era
3. Self-Deprecating Lyrics. You can’t be white in hip-hop and not have a sense of humor. It’s against the rules. Every white rapper since the Beastie Boys has poked fun of him/herself at one point or another, some even opting to address the issue straight off the bat with their rap names (Vanilla Ice, Bubba Sparxx the Young Black Teenagers). One of my favorite tongue-in-cheek lines on the topic comes from Em on “Without Me.” “I am the worst thing/ since Elvis Presley/to do black music so selfishly/and used it to get myself wealthy.” Hey, there’s a concept that works…
4. Black Girls. MC Serch is married to a sista. So is Paul Wall – who used to search the Black Planet forum for jump offs. Don’t forget Slam Shady’s highschool crush, Kim –not that one, the black one that he got thrown under the bus for.
5. Looking racially ambigious. Tell me The Alchemist can pass for something else other than white in this picture.
JoJo Pelligrino anyone?
And eventhough he’s albino, I coulda sworn I heard that Brother Ali was black
What did I miss? – Jesse Gissen