I know some people have seen Jesus in their Grape Nuts, Mother Teresa in their bagels and Will Smith in their watermelon. But, why the fuck do we have Janet Jackson in our shit sandwich?
We get it, nigga. You bagged “Miss Jackson If You’re Desperate” during the free Bentley giveaway. You saved her career from the sinking Virgin Records ship (that you ran) and brought her to the great Island [Def Jam] paradise… which also sank… with Captain Jermaine Dupri holding the joystick.
[Blogger's Note: Sullee, he is not.]
I’m familiar with the highly questionable practice of engraving the names and visages of baby mammas and daddies onto one’s person. Can anyone explain why Jermaine’s boo is the fucking Virgin Mary? Sheeeit. Janet ain’t been virginified since she was Penny on Good Times.
I can’t even endorse that notion fully, as I’ve been surprised at the long list of out-of-reach women Jimmie Walker managed to pipe down. “Wet Wipes”, be damned. She might have coughed it up back then. Yep. As soon as Joseph turned his back to cheat on Angela Bassett–I mean, Katherine.
Janet must have put the Pleasure Principle down proper on this little nigga. Clearly, from her magical vagine came this man’s sexual salvation. Now, like a Mexican gangbanger, he must make the world know the gospel of Justice through his body art.
[Blogger's Note: You wanna smell her punanny?]
Hopefully they’re in it for the long haul. I hear Renee got Janet as Athena on his left testicle. El Debarge is reportedly walking around with “Rhythm Nation of Islam” emblazoned on an ass cheek. We’re all familiar with Kenyon Martin’s Trina lips and Nick Cannon’s Toby piece. They’re gonna find all of these nigga on Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Tatted?
Just you watch.
Maybe JD and Janet will drop a joint gospel album on TAG Records.
Questions? Comments? Requests? I’m about to get Keyshia Cole’s orange weave tatted on my neck. Just the weave by itself. firstname.lastname@example.org
TAG Records. Looks like they’ve been doing that for some time now. Har har. *snicker snicker*