Drake: Best I’ll Ever Blast

Word? Niggas is totin iron to the Drake Drizzy show now?

I thought Drake’s set was supposed to be where the ladies could go, see a little high-yeller poplock action and sing along to their favorite hip-pop melodies with their gurrrrlfriends in relative peace. Who knew they’d be in danger of getting shot in the ass by one of the Cool Kids.

Consider this warning heeded. I’ve snapped out of my dream world where I fear not the pseudo-hipster rap fan. Apparently, they’re as dangerous as the aspiring trap stars at OJ Da Juiceman’s shit. I grew up on the philosophy that suggests one should never underestimate the man next to him. But, I just never thought there was any room for a hand cannon in a pair of skinny jeans. At least, not enough room for someone to carry one around unnoticed. You’ll definitely blow the assassination attempt running around looking like double-dong Wesley Pipes out there. Most cops can tell when a nigga is holding if he’s wearing a windbreaker, let alone a Venom-tight douchebag uniform.

Hmmm. Maybe dude Plaxicoed himself trying to tuck the neener into the Levi 501 waistline.

If that weren’t the case. I know what happened. Some nigga sang the chorus to “Best I Ever Had” in the wrong direction, prompting the unsheathing of ye olde feather trigger. Fellas, that Drake shit is powerful! Relationships are being built in high schools all over the world on the basis of, “Shawty, you my e’ythang. You all I ever wanted./ We can do it real big! Bigger than you ever done it.” Of course, by this your average 15 year old means he’s gonna blow his allowance on some girl’s skates, admission, onion rings, large Coke and post-rink frozen yogurt, but the shit still Plies.

[Blogger's Note: "Plies" as a contraction is in the Merriam-Webster jawn by now, right? I mean, if "bling bling" is in there...]

I digress. So, yeah. Don’t sing that Drake shit to chicks you don’t know. You might catch a designer limited edition multicolored Ed Hardy slug in the middle of your skinnies.

Okay. Let me stop. I know what really happened. I’m sorry, Charlie Murphy. I’ve been having too much fun.

Word on the street is a couple of crazed Drake fans were re-enacting Degrassi. However, instead of bringing an unloaded BB gun as planned, the fan portraying Rick Murray had his girlfriend slip her father’s loaded .32 caliber Beretta into his man purse. When the fan portraying Jimmy Brooks turned around to run away in slow motion, his ass cheek was greeted with an unexpected hot one.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Performed the Andy Griffith Show theme lately? ron@romexicocity.com

  • Arrogant_Al

    LMFAO ron you couldn’t have broke it down any more than it already was broken.

    was rick ross and alfamega there to control the crowd?

    heard T.I. saw the shooter, he was at an undisclosed location in the pack of women with the “Birdman faces” ughhhh

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Lol, Mex. Too many quotes…….

      But, I said this earlier in the other post; “Wheelchair Jimmy got the gangsters going crazy!”

      I know Rick was going to fuck some shit up when ol’ girl fell on the rock in the woods. & that was AFTER he had knuckled her down before. All it took was that paint gag & BLAOW!. No more basketball, Jimmy. I was too glad when they got rid of the hip hop (other) black kid, though & replaced him with Obama-esque Aubrey. Ha!

      We might be the only two niggas who know WTF I’m talking about……..

      • ?

        Lmao you actually know the show!

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          Yep!

          I love it (no homo).

      • Silly Willy

        I actually know what you talkin’ about, I’m from Mtl, just don’t like the show that much.

        Seen the scene with the paint gag, though. That shit was cold.

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          @ Silly Willy

          Yeah man, my wife & kids started watching it about a year ago. I tried to fight it, but it got me. I’m comfortable enough in my manhood to admit it, lol.

        • Blaktwan

          Degrassi is ill. But Jimmy would have never got his shit blasted if Jay and Spinner didnt set him up.

      • http://www.myspace.com/stylezz_one Petro

        Jimmy was always there, he just had a really lame fro. The other black kid was Chris.

    • GetwitMeORrunfromMe

      Most of these new rappers are nuthun but new rappers no substance comparison = New Kids on the Block. Its cool cause that fake dies out longivity lives in the soul of the real.. What more can I Say? Get wit Me or Run From Me

  • General

    Apparently life is colder in Toronto than in the D.
    Shit gettin outta hand…

    Next thing you gonna see is a full fledged shoot out at a Day 26 show, Terminator style

    • http://www.datpiff.com/Dont_Panic_Entertainment_Max_Profit_The_Drugs_Ar.m44293.html Max Profit

      Maybe people will finnaly see that niggas get shot no matter what type of rap music is popin at the moment.

  • Pierzy

    “Performed the Andy Griffith Show theme lately?”

    HAHAHAHAHA

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    THIS SOME FUNNY SHIT!!!!

    (LEANS BACK AND TURNS “MAKE EM’ SAY UGHHHH” WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY THE FUCK UP))

  • Worley

    “prompting the unsheathing of ye olde feather trigger.”

    You a cot damn fool.

  • c b w

    See what happens when you try to bring light-skinned back? Real dark niggas ain’t havin’ that shit.

    What is this world coming to? What’s next? Somebody catching a buck fifty at a Universoul Circus performance?

    • Michelle S.

      lmfao

      I don’t even have a comment.

    • Jack Tripper

      “See what happens when you try to bring light-skinned back? Real dark niggas ain’t havin’ that shit.”

      FTFO! Man you’s a fool for that one.

  • Me man

    mex i dont like you…youre not funny…well not this time anyway…

    the hipsters gon have to get along with the hood niggas

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Hell yeah these hipster kids are dangerous: They tuck a pistol real neatly in that void in front of their jeans where a normal dude’s dick would be.

    No homo, just in case.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • Moving Sideways

    FYI

    Plies is named after a ballet move.

  • Rob

    “Word on the street is a couple of crazed Drake fans were re-enacting Degrassi.”

    It’s a damn shame what happened to wheel chair Jimmy. A DAMN shame.

  • Rob the Music Ed

    “Word on the street is a couple of crazed Drake fans were re-enacting Degrassi.”

    It’s a damn shame what happened to wheel chair Jimmy. A DAMN shame.

    • PARIS PERSHUN

      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
      EXTREMELY FUNNY SHIT ALERT!!!!

  • J.CALDERON

    Oh I thought when you said “Plies” you meant the tool you can get at your local hardware store.

  • mazemayhim

    It’s real @ a Drake show too??!!!! Smh Ron, I know you gotta diss James Harrison of the Steelers after what he said about not goin to the White House to meet the Prez. Dude is feelin his Wheeties a bit too much

  • Avenger XL

    Let me start by saying Drake is not that dope unless you are a chick looking for a chris brown replacement or a wayne stan looking for your next empty pseudostar to fall in love with.

    Secondly unfortunatly the only kind of hip-hop show you may be safe at are the ones that have fewer ghetto/trap star fans at fashion doesn’t matter. Ghetto dudes see drake as the new guy you better say is dope or you are wack and they drunk all of the kool aide on this clown. I heard the mixtape and I am waiting to be entertained by something special that he does besides provide a new guy for Waynes marketing genuis to make money off of. Where there are wanna be thugs/goons/gangstas there is drama i.e. jigs who live by their fragile ego because that is all they have not to mention all they are worth. I mean the only good reason to go to a Drake show is the fact it will be loaded with chicks, so the chances of you getting stank on your hang low is high. These dudes ruin this by getting aggy over anything. You would be safer at a Asher Roth and you may just get some suburban stank if you are into that type of thing.

    Funny post

  • El Tico Loco

    This is just as bad as brawls in Louis Vuitton stores.

  • geico lizard

    Drake is the new asher roth. They are both Jewish and getting too much promo for a first album.

  • nellz

    “me doing a show is getting everyone nervous, cuz them hipsters gonna have to get along with them hood niggas”

  • BIGNAT

    “I just never thought there was any room for a hand cannon in a pair of skinny jeans. At least, not enough room for someone to carry one around unnoticed. You’ll definitely blow the assassination attempt running around looking like double-dong Wesley Pipes out there. Most cops can tell when a nigga is holding if he’s wearing a windbreaker, let alone a Venom-tight douchebag uniform.”
    ron ron has done it again LMAO. i know what really happened 15 dudes were most likely trying to get the same chick. even though they are more girls than guys there she is the one. one guy pulls out a gun to persuade the others to leave. as one guy is running for his life he steps on the gunman’s air yeezy’s. then and only then did someone get shot not over a women. over some fucking sneakers

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Lmao @ hipsters busting shots for dudes stepping on their Air Yeezy’s…….

      I still have yet to see anybody rock a pair. & with the way the liquid jeans fit into the tops of space Nike’s, I would have noticed.

      • BIGNAT

        the one person i knew who has a pair took a pic of himself wearing them. then put them back in the book.

  • Silly Willy

    I know what REALLY happened!!! One of the fans had the nerve to wear the last special designer edition of silk green scarf from Lagerfeld and got nervous when another dude showed up with the same outfit !!! You know they absolutely have to feel special…….

  • HNIC

    Some niggas hate… people underestimate the power of a Jay-Z co-sign. Say what you will about his brief Presidency at Def Jam, but, the man not only has talent, he actually knows talent, too.

    For starters, he married Beyonce, who is consistently at the top of every Pop/R&B chart out there. Secondly, he co-signed Kanye, T.I. & Lil’ Wayne before they became the mainstream phenomena’s that they are today. As well as Jeezy & Rick Ross, but, all things considered, and even with their marginal talent, they’ve done very well for themselves, due to Jigga’s co-sign, by my estimation. Now, we have my dude, Drake! Jigga recently did a track with him. He’s the hottest thing smokin’ right now. Whether you believe it or not, the cat that you’re co-signing (more than likely yourself) hasn’t done anything that’s worth mentioning, as of late. So, who’s the bitter hater here? Step your game up, or shut up.

    I said all that to say this, if Drake continues to play his cards right, he will be the biggest artist to emerge out of ’09 easily. And have more longevity than most of these one hit wonder cats that have over-saturated the market. As far as the shooting is concerned, like I originally said, “some niggas hate.”

    By the way, Jigga signed Rihanna & Ne-Yo, who are two of the biggest Pop/R&B stars out there, along with the Mrs. Do your research.

    • BIGNAT

      1. jay wanted kanye for his beats only. dame was the one who wanted to make kanye into a star.
      2. pharrel was on the tip bandwagon before anyone else. sampling jay-z raps for your music does not equal a co-sign.
      3. jeezy got his comeup on that boyz in da hood group along with his mixtapes with drama.
      4.now i know jigga co-signed on rawse and lil wanye i have no idea
      5. jigga also signed tru life and a whole bunch of other acts that did not pan out.

  • pana

    I love Drake! What?!? LOL!