Coolio: It Takes A Fiend…

TMZ caught Coolio live and ready to crack ramble, as per usual.

“Everybody got a family member or a friend that’s into something…” -Coolio

Yes, Coolio. You are all of hip-hop’s crackhead uncle. What kind of nigga doesn’t know there’s crack in his bag at the airport? I know! A nigga who smokes crack! I could imagine smoking crack leaves you in a fucked up enough mental state whereas you’d forget ya left a few loose croissainwiches in your jeans pocket. That just sounds like a crill monsterish thing to do.

The nigga then admits to carrying his weed onto airplanes for years, back when it used to get him high. Wowwww. Admitting to having a longstanding track record of the Whitney-ish behavior in question isn’t going to help your case, Coolio! Plus, most people already believe they’re looking at a pothead-turned-baking soda aficionado. This means when you tell us you used to smoke weed, it means you smoked weed until the rock candy blunts became rock co.kane flow alone. We get it. No need to spell it out.

Kids, that ain’t the way. It’s really just like I say in my 2003 single, “That Ain’t The Way.”

Please take note that despite how Mr. Walk The Plank Chaka Zulu believes the police department is supposed to work, it’s not the arresting officer’s job to explore every “CSI” possibility to prove that the crack they find in your bag at the airport is NOT yours. I’m the first nigga to stand up against unjust ho-lice procedure. However, finding cocaine in your bag is all the proof they need to arrest you for finding cocaine in your bag.

For any and all Myspace entertainers who aspire to sign a fucked up 360 deal, end up broker than when you started and turn to crack to ease the pain, remember to lotion Dwight Rownyalipps before going on camera to defend your actions.

Questions? Comments? Requests? I recommend Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula for the toughest cases of Dwight. ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: Who’s just giving away good crack and putting it in other smokers’ bags? I haven’t found a fiend yet who’d let a rock slip away like that. Last time I checked, children get sold into sex slavery for this shit. You’re more likely to see a fight over the last rock than you are to see a fiend stash off in someone else’s purse. Fuck outta here!

  • ThaKemizt

    Big ups to the Commission! Damn, dude is lookin mad Rick James right about now… “That’s ridiculous, why would I go through the airport with crack in my bag? Yeah, I remember going through the airport with crack in my bag…” Cocaine, my niggas, really is a hell of a drug.

  • Justice4All

    Hilarious!!!

  • Justice4All

    Hilarious!!!!!!!!

  • Justice4All

    Hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • latino heat

    classic shit as usual.

  • PARISH PERSHUN

    IF THE DAVE CHAPPELLE SHOW EVA COME BACK THEY SHOULD GET COOLIO ASS TO PLAY TYRONE BIGGUMS…. HA …. THAT SHIT WOULD BE FUNNY MAYNE!!! THIS NIGGA A FUCKIN JOKE…. THAT NIGGA HAD A SONG OUT IN 2003????? WOWSERS!!!
    THAT WAS LIKE THE BEST SUMMER OF MY LIFE(SO FAR).. GLAD I NEVER HEARD THAT SHIT!!! LONG LIVE GANGSTER’S PARADISE KING COOLIO!!!!

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    OH SHIT CANT FORGET… (LEANS BACK AND TURNS “BLACK, MAYBE” WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY THE FUCK UP))

  • killa gorilla

    Kids, that ain’t the way. It’s really just like I say in my 2003 single, “That Ain’t The Way.”

    LMAO…..word to Gangstalicious!

    Ron u’s a beast on these blogs my nigga!!

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Hahahaha!

    Dude was on camera actually appearing somewhat offended by the questions. BUT, that didn’t stop him from flicking his nose like Tony (no Grand$) Montana @ his desk!

    Read between the lines; “yeah, I dabble in cocaine recreation, who the fuck doesn’t?”.

    Crackhead logic is so entertaining. My uncle irons his dirty clothes to go smoke with his buddies, like “@ least I look good doing it!”

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      tony… i’m glad you mentioned it. i ain’t even wanna say nothin. it’s like from second 1, this nigga is ticklin the nose!

      we was giggin on this nigga hard on the podcast last night.

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

        AND that nigga was doing it with the lit-cigarette hand!

        You know niggas only do shit with the lit-cigarette hand when they’re on some shit!

        • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

          LMAO! Palmer’s Cocoa Buter Formula is the truth! But even that wouldn’t be able to help out Coolio’s “I’m kissing flour” crack lips

      • 1hunid

        I had to count em, and that nigga tooked his nose sixteen times. I dont think the nigga has allergy problems.

        • $ykotic

          LOL you guys are hilarious!

          DON’T FORGET DAVID LETTERMAN TONIGHT! BAWSE GONNA GIVE US A SHOW!

  • DV8

    hey your boy SB is talking again. I know your gonna get him right?

  • JCITYHUSTLA617

    COOKIN WITH COOLIO ON TODAY’S SHOW COOLIO WILL SHOW YOU THE FUNDAMENTALS OF COOKIN HIS FAVORITE DESSERT DISH COOK COKE CRACK

    SO COOLIO WHY DO YOU COOK THIS CRACK

    COOLIO:CUZ I WALK THREW THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE AND REALIZE THERES NOTHING LEFT

    BUT COOLIO ISNT THAT BECAUSE YOU PAWNED ALL YOUR BELONGINGS IN ORDER FOR YOU 2 FIRE UP THE PIPE

    COOLIO: CHAKA ZULU HEY HAVE YOU SEEN MY BRILLO PADS BOUT 2 GO SUCK ME SOME GLASS DICK

    WHY DO YOU PARTAKE IN SUCH ACTIVITIES

    COOLIO: CUZ IM 2 HOT 2 HOT 2 HOT BABY BETTER RUN FOR COVER BETTER RUN FOR SHADE N GO GRAB MY LIGHTER WHILE YOU OVA DER

    HERE YOU GO MR.COOLIO HOW DOES THIS CRACK MAKE YOU FEEL

    COOLIO: MAKES ME FEEL LIKE IM ON A FANTASTIC VOYAGE BUT THE ROCK THEY FOUND ON ME IS SOME OLE BULLSHIT YA HEAR ME THAT WAS MY NIGGAZ ROCK

    WHO’S YOUR NIGGA

    COOLIO: MY NIGGA POOKIE BITCH YO GET THIS MIC OUT MY FACE B4 I ROB YOU SHIT I NEED 2 PAWN ME SOMETHING RYTE NOW *YELLS* AYO POOKIE HOW MUCH WE CAN GET IF WE KIDNAP A WHITE BITCH?

    POOKIE: WHITEGIRL?? 4REAL NIGGA SHIT CUT HER UP WE CAN SNORT THE BITCH

    • Jamal7Mile

      *chokes to death on beer*

  • BGZ

    FUCK COOLIO!

    FREE WILLIE D!

  • BIGNAT

    i just saw the video………….SMH i don’t got nothing to say

  • Ron Mega

    That fool was tweekin.

    “For any and all Myspace entertainers who aspire to sign a fucked up 360 deal, end up broker than when you started and turn to crack to ease the pain, remember to lotion Dwight Rownyalipps before going on camera to defend your actions.”

    Tyrone Biggums would’ve passed his ace that Palmer’s tell him get to shynin…”Let me tell u sumthin u don’t know bout me Joe Rogan…I smoke rocks!”

  • Zulu1925

    “Dwight Rownyalipps” – Too funny!!

  • vhingrhamesonyomomma

    you fuckin hilarious! this niggas like the kat williams of bloggin!