Chris Brown: Not a monster?

Chris Brown recently took to, a site for emo attention hoo-ers, to explain to the world that he isn’t a monster. If you haven’t seen this clip yet, you might want to have a look. It’s the topic of today’s post.

In the video, it looks like he’s in the basement of the house from There Will Be Blood, which would have been awesome and would have added a whole ‘nother layer of subtext, but apparently it’s Shaq’s house in Phoenix.

If you notice, Chris Brown has a tendency to show up in the houses of famous black men. No fishsticks. After he put his shoe on Rihanna, Diddy lent him the keys to his place down in Miami, so they could have hot make-up sex. I bet it was especially intense, what with the oppulence of their surroundings and all that they’d been through. Not too intense, though. Chris Brown was already staring down jail time for busting up Rihanna’s face. God forbid something bad should happen to her hoo ha. You know most vaginae just aren’t tight enough for Jay-Z anyway.

I wonder if Shaq let Chris Brown and Lil’ Bow Wow in his house specifically for the pupose of making this video, as a show of black male solidarity, or if they just happened to be there anyway, bowling, and whatever else Shaq does in his free time. Probably the former, right? I can’t imagine a guy like Shaq would want to kick it with Chris Brown and Lil’ Bow Wow. I’d have to check, but I’m pretty sure he’s been in the NBA since I was in grade school. He’s gotta be like 40 now. He’s probably got daughters old enough to be statutory raped by Lil’ Bow Wow, and/or beaten up by Chris Brown.

But I can see why it would be important for him to let people know that Chris Brown shouldn’t just be cast out of the black community, like some sort of pariah, just because he had to take certain measures to settle a dispute with Rihanna. We weren’t in that Lamborghini, so we don’t know what really happened. And you saw what happened in that video with Charles Hamilton and one of Mary J. Blige’s husband’s outside kids. For all we know, Rihanna might have attacked him, and he had to be especially forceful with her, lest he lost control of the Lamborghini, and they both ended up dead.

For all we know, Chris Brown might be a hero!

Of course, Chris Brown didn’t say nearly as much. All he did was kinda lean down into the camera, say he was working on a new album, tell his fans not to pay attention to the haters, and that he isn’t a monster. Then Lil’ Bow Wow, who was standing there the whole time and could have been holding the camera (I wonder if he can read) leaned down into the shot and said, “Believe that!” As if there’s someone out there who wouldn’t have believed him otherwise.

Or maybe there was. Could it be that I’m giving Chris Brown’s fans too much credit? I doubt any of them are capable of reading as much into this clip as I have. (Shit, I hope they aren’t.) And I wouldn’t be surprised if Chris Brown’s handlers put him up to this. Come to think of it, as much shit as he’s been through this year, you have to wonder what’s the likelihood of him being able to just put some shit up on like that. Nah, they probably told him to. And they probably got Lil’ Bow Wow involved. You know how young girls love Lil’ Bow Wow. It’s been the bane of his existance since he turned 18, 10 years ago. Er, I hope it’s been.

Chris Brown could fuck around and emerge from this relatively unscathed. Think about it, if you’re a young girl, why should you give a rat’s ass if Rihanna got a black eye. That doesn’t mean you’re gonna get a black eye. If the girl I most wanted to fuck got into a fight with a guy, then she did a video with another girl I want to fuck, explaining that she isn’t a monster, something tells me I’d be tempted to believe her.

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  • Pierzy

    “In the video, it looks like he’s in the basement of the house from There Will Be Blood…”


    Chris Brown-Plainview. Maybe he’s deaf like the kid in the flick? Hence the music?

  • truth

    your information is soo wrong. they were actually at shaqs house in orlando…chris tucker also joined and chris really isn’t a monster.get facts str8 b4 u make a whole story….he is in orlando truely stayin outta clubs and workn on an album…

  • El Tico Loco

    I’m betting that Chris Brown is going to take the “inspirational music” route to win back fans kinda like R Kelly when he first started catching cases and didn’t think he could beat the cases.

  • sealsaa

    Shaq seems like he’d be the cool uncle in a family. The one that’d sneak you beer and buy you weed and hookers.

    As for Chris Brown, I think he got a bad rap. There was obviously more to this story than some girl getting smacked around by an abusive boyfriend, but leave it to women (Tyra, Oprah, Ellen) and the media to manipulate the situation. I don’t care for his music, but hopefully he bounces back from this drama.

    • valdez


      we can pretty much guarantee there is more to this story than what has been told to the public.

  • sealsaa

    @ El Tico

    That was one of the main points I tried to make when Chris Brown first got arrested, and people kept claiming that his career was over. R. Kelly’s been known to roam the school yard for almost a decade now, yet he’s continued to sell millions. People feign outrage all of the time, but as long as the music’s good, they could care less.

    • El Tico Loco

      But Chris Brown is gettin railroaded bad, to the point he can’t even put out material, all from one single incident. Would he get half of the crap he gettin if he had put his hands on some around the way Jane? Of course not.

  • General

    I’m sure the reason he is in Shaq’s basement is so that he is safe from that “Notorious Gangsta” Jay-Z, LOL

    • $ykotic


      I still keep hearing Jay wants to get @ Chris!

      But real talk, we don’t know what the hell happened that night.

  • geico lizard

    “Chris Brown recently took to, a site for emo attention hoo-ers”

    co-sign that site isnt cool anymore. I watched bootleg HBO over there and now I cant see it anymore,wtf??? I thought this was America people? Stay thirsty my friends.

  • Jamal7Mile

    Well, at least he didn’t shoot no, ummm, whatsthaname, video to try to gain back his female fan base. I just got finished pushing my eyeballs back into my face after seeing that Pretty Dickme vide… vid.. that..

    *vomits on desktop*

    *ooohhh gotdamn, [exhales, inhales]

    *vomits again, “sharts” himself*

    • that nigga

      Thats some funny shit. And “He’s probably got daughters old enough to be statutory raped by Lil’ Bow Wow, and/or beaten up by Chris Brown.”

      Wow Bol!

  • og bobby j

    i dont see the big deal….so he smacked rihanna around a little bit….10 bucks says she deserved it….

    you seen her nipple rings…so that obviously means she likes pain….bet she called out his manhood and he laced her like he shoulda…

    If i were him, id make a confessions type album….like a double disc….one on how he fucked up…and the other on how sometimes, bitches have it coming…

    • OG Matt Herbz

      Sho nuff she likes it rough, homey. She and I were sending texts to each other the night of the incident and she was telling me she wanted it in the ass raw and wanted me to twist her nipples while she’s cumming and shit… But straight up, I never got that opportunity because she flipped a bitch on Breezy for some text message that HE received. Damn, what a hypocrite. Fuck her and her nice ass and thighs and café con leche-type skin tone…

      –OG Matt Herbz–

  • C&D

    I don’t care how thick it gets, how do you bite someone in the middle of a fight? I’m still trying to understand the logistics

  • Aja G.

    I don’t think we should cast Chris out. I’m glad people are still embrassing him. But there needs to be some counseling or intervention to get to the bottom of this. if not its not going to be the last time & these hungry bitches may try him just to get his cash.

  • maximus 32

    Chicks think they can get away with anything and not get hit. You don’t know what she said or did to him. If a chick do something to my mama, my kid or if she was to tell me she gave me the monster and she knew it….I AM FUCKING HER UP!! Anything other than that is bitch nigga shit. I will walk away. I fight grown ass men…not chicks.

    • DownSouth

      But yet when Sonic got rings knocked out of him err body laughed at it. Not fair, lol

      DOWN SOUTH!!!

  • Tony Grand$

    Man, Chris should’ve just chilled the fuck out, let the heat die down, & came back in about a year or so with a fire-ass album & let the music speak for itself.

    Simple & plain. Telling people that you’re not a monster makes you appear to be one. I stopped telling people I don’t drink that much when I actually stopped drinking.

    He still has talent, producers still want to eff with his music, that’s not going anywhere. But, I have to disagree, Bol. His “people” probably knew nothing of the video until it aired. I would have advised against it. & Bow Wow is just looking for a cause to be down with. Its like dating the ugliest broad in school because she’s so vulnerable.

    Chris will be fine. His mom probably told him that already, like “Look baby, nothing ever happened to your stepdad….”

    Okay, that was wrong.

    • $ykotic

      Yo you are on a roll here!

      i.e. “Remdemption”(click on Grand$ name)

      LOL yes that was wrong!

      • Tony Grand$

        @ $yk


        Real talk, I’m feeling good right now. You know how it gets sometimes when life let’s you drop your guard a little. Its just kick, push, coast…


    “He’s probably got daughters old enough to be statutory raped by Lil’ Bow Wow, and/or beaten up by Chris Brown.” that is a low blow bol

  • chillin mayne

    yea im late…but better late than never..jaaaaa dis post was HILARIOUS jajajaj “then lil bow wow, who was standing their the whole time and could have been holding the camera…..and said “believe that” as if theres someone out there who wouldnt have believed him otherwise” jaaaa jajajajajajajajjajaaj..woooooooo..

  • KingTime

    Очень интересно!!! Только не очень могу понять как часто обновляется ваш блог?

  • Александр


  • siphiwo

    lol shit yeah giv da kid a break