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Charles Hamilton won

I know the tendency is to want to roffle at Charles Hamilton for getting cold cocked by a girl, and having it captured for posterity on the Internets, but we might be overlooking something. Did he knock that girl up and then talk her into having an abortion? If so, I’m gonna have to give credit where credit is due.

I’ve yet to have the privilege of talking a girl into doing away with my seed. (Holler, if you think you might be interested.) But I’m sure it isn’t easy, even if you work at the BGM, let alone if you have a deal with Interscope. She probably could have gotten some decent money out of having Charles Hamilton’s baby. And you have to wonder if a girl with her… um, unique set of concerns could find another brother with a check.

I doubt she was concerned with people knowing Charles Hamilton hit that. Otherwise, why would she have let loose with that Russell Simmons-style poem about how hard she loved him and how she was through with him? She just wanted people to think he was too immature for her, even though she stands all of about 5’3 and looks to be about 15. You know how women can be so adamant about their maturity.

Then Charles Hamilton let loose with his verse about how he won before he even opened his mouth, which of course is meant to suggest that he’s already had his way with her, perhaps on multiple occasions; and how, if he hit that raw, she would have had to have an abortion, which of course is meant to suggest that he did hit that raw, and he had to pull a Maino, and/or a Mike Damone, for my Gen Xers.

If you think about it, this might be the ultimate possible pwnage in a rap battle with a woman – he basically let the world know that anything she had to say about him, his maturity level, etc. was null and void, since he’s already had anything he may have wanted from her, and that, furthermore, she didn’t even have the sense to take advantage of him, when given the opportunity.

It’s amazing his mind could even go to that so quickly. Could it be that Charles Hamilton is more talented than we think, albeit perhaps only within the context of freestyle battles with girls he’s taken advantage of? He’s had months now to respond to Rhymefest, and the most he could come up with is to call the guy old. Which is the kind of shit you might expect from Soulja Boy.

The thing is, punching someone in the face has much more of an immediate visceral effect, especially amongst a group of people like the hip-hop community. Not to suggest you guys aren’t the best society has to offer. I’m just saying. What Charles Hamilton said about her is much more impressive once you’ve had the time to really think about it. It’s what we mean when we talk about taking the high road in dealing with women.

Of course, if I were Charles Hamilton, I would have taken it one step further. When she punched me in the face, I would have taken the opportunity to explain to the camera that this just goes to show how a woman will up and put her hands on a man, and that this may have been what led to Chris Brown and Rihanna. But, alas, I don’t have the pink clothes to land a woman like that in the first place.

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