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Yung Berg: Pussy Monster

Anybody here 18 and over? Who 18? Lemme see some ID.

You never know exactly how old the World Star footage brought to your attention at any given moment may be. In today’s case, all sensitivity to time is rendered irrelevant by excessive fuckery. Top-seeded DDN Yung Berg exceeds all safe levels of on-stage skankitude by reciting one of his many Tool Academy-ready tweenie trap verses into, well…

You might [not] want to have a look for yourself.

For our less fortunate brothers and sisters who may not be so technologically inclined, Yung Berg sits a fan down on stage, puts his face and microphone into her crotch and sings to her uterus through the cervical passage.

While his vocals might actually sound better muffled by muff, no one deserves to be assaulted this way. Responding “yes” to the question “Is anybody here 18?” does not grant a rapster permission to press his face into your warm, musty genitals. Had he asked, “Ith anyone here 18 or over and intereth-ted in having my tattooed faith prethed againth their warm, muth-ty genitalth?”, that’d be something different. Instead, he thinks his Bergness alone is enough to float that one in there.

To my female readers: Just because he’s a rapper doesn’t mean he has the right to go spelunking without permission. Just because he’s a pussy monster doesn’t mean you have to Mary O. Blige to sneak attacks. No matter how often he says he “neeeeed it just to survive.”

Oh, shit. That’s it!

I’ve always tried to figure out what kind of creature Berg’s DNA had been fused with somewhere down the line. At first I thought pit bull, then gremlin. But I’ve finally got it. This muppet-ass nigga is part-douchebag, part-pussy monster with just a splish-splash of fucktard. It couldnt be any clearer.

I think he’s learning, or at least showing progress. This time Berg is smart enough to remove his reduced-calorie necklace before going down on Tonisha. We’d hate to hear yet about another chain snatching. It’s one thing to get caught out there in Africa, but who could live down the YouTube etherization that is getting the full Deebo treatment from a high school junior here in the states?

Shit like this wouldn’t happened if the little nigga had some damn home training. Whatever happened to “Sexy, Can I?” Maybe it’s too close to “Mother, May I?”, which is too close to “Dark Butt.”

Questions? Comments? Requests? –and youuuu gotta feed me… ron@ronmexicocity.com

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