Who really wears the pants at Jay-Z’s house?

Who else, when they heard that the movie Obsessed won the weekend box office, thought to themselves, “Damn, Jay-Z might be on to something.”

I actually heard about that shit on the nightly news. Not even one of these bullshit entertainment news programs, like Access Hollywood or whatever, but the actual evening news on network TV. Maybe they’re doing more bullshit entertainment programming on the evening news. I wouldn’t know. The only time I ever watch the shit is when I’m at my parents’ house, which is how I saw it this weekend.

The news was actually framed as a matter of Beyonce managing to win the weekend box office, rather than the movie itself. Which I took to mean that this might signal the beginning of a new era of high profile roles in films for Beyonce. Regardless of whether or not it was her star power that rocketed Obsessed to the top of the weekend box office, and regardless of whether or not she has any real talent for acting (of course I wouldn’t know), I’m sure she’ll be fielding several lucrative offers.

And it was only a few weeks ago that I read that Beyonce may have made more money last year than Jay-Z. I didn’t bother reading it, but I remember there was a story on MTV News about how much the two of them made last year, and as I recall, she made $89.5 million to Jay’s $89 million, or something along those lines. Or who knows. It could be that Jay made a bit more than Beyonce. Either way, I was more struck by the fact that I’m not even sure what Beyonce does. Jay-Z spends his waking hour coming up with new ways to whore himself out to tall Israeli interests, and all Beyonce does is sing. And we don’t even know for a fact that she can sing very well.

I know Beyonce has been in a few movies, like that Austin Powers movie, and Cadillac Records, and Dreamgirls and what have you, but she hasn’t really been a big name in Hollywood until just. Those were all either big franchises, or low budget movies. Either way, she probably wasn’t able to command much of a fee. The real money in Hollywood comes when they think your name attached to a film can guarantee it makes $100 million. That’s that Will Smith money. If Beyonce, could get even halfway to that level, forget about it.

Meanwhile, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jay-Z starts to gradually fade into irrelevance. I mean, even more so than he already has. If you notice, Blueprint 3 never did come out, and something tells me it didn’t have anything to do with him not having enough time to work on it. And you have to wonder how many more of these bullshit deals he can sign for big paydays. Those years when he was making $100 million a year or whatever, it’s not like he was making that from recording or performing. He was selling off his clothing line, his record company, the rights to whatever money he makes from recording and touring for god knows how long, so on and so forth. I wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t make nearly as much going forward. He might be running out of shit to sell.

Beyonce might be his strongest performing asset from here on out. Which just goes to show how brilliant Jay-Z is. I mean, if you don’t mind being married to Beyonce primarily for the purposes of making more money than you could ever really spend anyway. I would have taken my half a billion dollars or whatever and used it to bang a number of broads who more or less resemble the women who act in the pr0n I enjoy, if not the actual pr0n stars, but you guys know I have a lot of personal problems.

Back when they got married, it was widely reported that Jay-Z basically bought Beyonce from Beyonce’s father. In exchange for his daughter, the old man got a fleet of classic cars and airplane and what have you. Jay even had to agree to continue to put gas in the airplane. It seemed ridiculous to me that a man should have to pay so much money to a family of people who already have so much money, but Jay-Z probably knew she had a lot more earning potential than he did. The old man may have even presented Jay with a series of spreadsheets that said as much.

Now that it’s actually begun to pay dividends, I can see the genius of this arrangement. Only thing is, you wonder what kind of access Jay-Z has to Beyonce’s money. If Beyonce makes $100 million next year, and Jay-Z doesn’t make shit, how much of that $100 million can Jay spend before Beyonce’s independent streak starts kicking in? You’d hope it’s a lot, given how much Jay had to spend to get her in the first place, but you know how these women are when they make more money than you. If it isn’t anything at all, Jay might have been better off finding himself a broke chick with the ability to grow a full, healthy head of hair.

  • Pierzy

    If I were worth what Jay’s worth and married to a woman that not only looked like Beyonce but brought home paper the way she does, I really wouldn’t care about irrelevance. He always wanted to retire (after Reasonable Doubt, then after Vol. 2, then after Black Album) so maybe this “forced retirement” will be good for him. Does Michael Jordan care that some may feel he’s not as relevant as he once was?

    I think it’d be better than if he kept trying to keep it going like some other artists…

    • mo

      he has been trying to keep it going…didn’t you hear kingdom come? Fuck jay is eventually going to drop blueprint 3….is that not trying to keep it going?

      • Pierzy

        I have to disagree.

        True, Kingdom Come was garbage but American Gangster was a fantastic album and (almost) universally hailed by both critics and fans. Also, my point was based upon Bol’s point that BP3 will never drop and that he’ll fade into obscurity…

  • Worley

    It’s great to have a woman making more money than you. If you leave her or she leave you then alimony works in your favor for a change. I can see it now: Jay-Z needs 1 million dollars a month in car notes, 1 million for sneakers and another million for “maintenance.” Brilliant!!

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Bol, it would appear that your boy Joe Budden thought Jigga was on to an innovative way to make his money work for him, & followed his lead.

    Don’t be too shocked if Tahiry & Sasha Fierce do a movie together, even if it’s only one of those “made-for-tv” ones.

    I’m not read for Jay-Z feat. Joe Buddens, though. @ least not yet…..

  • $ykotic

    They way he looks now I wouldn’t be surprised if she lays his clothes out in the morning.

    • Pierzy

      “Shawn, you should wear this…and don’t forget your Urkel glasses. And your hair looks so good when you let it grow – can I ask you not to cut it? For me?”

      • $ykotic

        “I’ll do anything,(anything) anything for you…”

      • El Tico Loco

        We will know for sure when she feeds him into obesity.

        • $ykotic

          That broad probably can’t even boil water!

          But I do wonder if he rubbed that bleach potion on her…

      • valdez

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

  • General

    I could see this being a potential problem down the road due to how big Jay’s ego is. I don’t think he’s gonna wanna be seen as someone livin off a chic, even if that chic happens to be Beyonce. And of course then you have her strange ass father that could easily be on Jim Jones (not the rapper) cult shit who probably won’t stand for Jay eatin off of her.
    I’ll be honest when I say, I am not disappointed with BP3 not coming out, cuz ya knew it was going to be horrible anyway.
    Of course if Beyonce makin more money is Jay’s biggest problem, then I guess we should all wish that we had problems as big as Jay’s

    • DevoG

      “recording or performing. He was selling off his clothing line, his record company, the rights to whatever money he makes from recording and touring for god knows how long, so on”
      WTF? You just gave plenty of reasons why he will still be caked up 20-30 years from now. Yall talking like Hov aint worth like half a billion on his on, still spending money form ’88. The one thing he needs to worry about if anything is a divorce settlement. This man dont have to work another day in life if need be.

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    I THINK THE NIGGA JAY IS SUPER STRAIGHT ON THE MONEY…. NO MATTER HOW MUCH BEYONCE MAKE, I DONT THINK SHE MAKES MORE THAN HIM

    Jay-Z is finalized a deal with concert promoter Live Nation for $150 million, one of the richest contracts ever awarded to a musician. This partnership, which will be named Roc Nation, will include financing for Jay-Z’s own entertainment ventures (which are expected to become a record label, talent/management agency, and music publishing company). Live Nation is expected to contribute $5 million a year in overhead for five years, with another $25 million available to finance Jay-Z’s acquisitions or investments. Roc Nation would then split profits with Live Nation.

    Jay-Z and Stargate have created a new label, StarRoc. The recording studio will be based in Jay-Z’s Manhattan Roc the Mic studio. Although there are no new artists signed yet, all artists will be signed to 360 degree contracts, which include endorsements, record sales, and concert revenue.

    • valdez

      “360 degree contracts”??

      please explain how this works.

      • Pierzy

        The term “360 degree contract” means that they will handle ALL aspects, not just music but also any endorsements, touring, merchandise, etc… It’s called “360 degree” because it implies that it covers the full circle of possible deals the artist can/will sign.

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    PIERZY SAID IT RIGHT

  • geico lizard

    Beyonce got lucky this weekend only had that jamie foxx movie as a potential hit. When she drops over a summer and comes in first place I will be more impressed. The worst part of all this is her first place finish will make her think she doesnt need any acting lessons.

    Jay z signed a prenup so when beyonce drops him for justin timberlake or shia lebouf, jay z will be broke and have to move in with memphis bleek. He had to see some of this coming thats why he wanted her to get pregnant soon but her pops and sister talked her out of that.

  • PARIS PERSHUN

    ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
    EXTREMELY FUNNY SHIT ALERT!!!!

  • 313Dawg

    Wow

  • http://twitter.com/MykeWayne Myke_Wayne

    Jay-Z spends his waking hour coming up with new ways to whore himself out to tall Israeli interests
    ———————
    Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiice!

  • foolio_iglesias

    Byron,if that is actually the case,neither Jay nor Be’s father did anything wrong.It’s called a dowry .A thousand years ago Jay would’ve had to break off a herd of cattle and some servants..

  • dat koon nigga

    ‘If it isn’t anything at all, Jay might have been better off finding himself a broke chick with the ability to grow a full, healthy head of hair”

    lolz
    boiz youz iz da relaestz niggaz on da nigro netz

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    *Jay-Z & passenger pulls up in a brand-new Rolls Royce Silver Spur*

    Jay-Z: Ayo Mr. Knowles…I’m really feelin’ Be, nahmean! Yo, I wanna wifey that, fa real! As a sign of good faith an’ all that, I wanna offer you dis…..

    *gets out of car & points to car & passenger*

    Jay-Z: This is yours, kid. & him too…..

    *Memphis Bleek looks up from rolling a blunt*

    Memphis Bleek: What the fuck? Nigga, is you-

    Jay-Z: He’s not the top of the line, but he’s loyal.

    Mr. Knowles: Thank you Shawn. I love the car, but, well, you can keep him. No thanks.

    *Jay-Z laughs it off*

    Jay-Z: C’mon kid, you know I’m fuckin’ round………..

    *looks around suspiciously & they walk to Jigga’s helicopter*

    • Shawty J

      LMAO!

    • DevoG

      That shit was funny, the story went like this.

      Mr. Knowles was offered his choice of any two State Property niggaz, unlimited access to Tru Life’s body guard services, a cash incentive, and a original copy of ODB’s Rocafella contract in a nice frame. Bleek being part of the deal was just a rumor started by Nas’s camp in response to “Is that Yo Bitch”

      To clear space under salary cap, and to make up for the money lost on the extra insurance needed to cover the new additions from S.P., and Tru Life, Mr. Knowles demanded that Jay take Kelley Rowland’s contract off of his hands. Jay declined and opted instead to trust his scouts and fast track the development of a young superstar toiling in the Rocafella D-League in Trinidad.

      To close the deal, Jay offered Mr. Knowles unlimited use of Amil’s Walmart discount. An offer he could not refuse.

  • Shawty J

    All Beyonce does is sing? Aside from acting she also owns a clothing line, clothing stores and she whores herself out in so many commercials it’s ridiculous. I mean I’m seeing like 7 commercials a year with her in em.

  • http://xxlmag.com Cal

    If she makes any more dollars than he does in the next year she may probably go Kimora Simmons on his and ass run off with some African actor like the guy she just did that film with Idris Elba!

  • DIRTY BASTARD

    iF ALL YOU FOOLS CAME BAK AND READ UR BULLSHIT.
    U’LL SEE D ERROR OF UR WAYZ
    COS BP3 DID DROP
    AND IT WAS NEAR CLASSIC.
    NXT TYME DONT DOUBT D HOV BABY!!
    DANM FOOLS.