Rick Ross vs. 50 Cent & Eminem: More Monkey Business

Good afternoon, you fuckin monkeeeees.

This is why Rick Ross is still alive in the DDN Tournament. I can’t explain how the fuck dude got past Pacman Jones, but now that he’s in a good one with Yung Berg–the other delusional “bawse”–he might find a swing of support today that catapults him into the final.

I firmly believe that every bit of this situation is exactly what’s wrong with rap music. There’s too much pro wrasslin and not enough focus on quality control. With superior content being the platform for his recent success, Rawse is a moron for even acknowledging the drama. Let alone immersing himself deeper [than rap] into the sinkhole of public opinion by now goading Eminem into an attack.

By the looks of the “We Made You” video, Em is clearly back on his drama shit. While the song sucks as badly as any other Slim Shady lead single, the spot-on Bret Michaels impersonation is a sobering reminder that Marshall is a parody machine who truly loves shitting in niggas’ cereal bowls.

Rawse thinks 50 dug into his ass? Sheeeeeeeit. These niggas at Aftermath have nothing left! They’ll continue to pursue new avenues of capializing on buffoonery at Officer Ricky’s expense. They’ll go full-Lecter and make a couple Chopper Suits out of his Crisco-enriched walrus skin.

[Blogger's Note: 4/20 appears to be Chopper Suit Reaction Day at WSHH. Both Lil' Wayne and Prince Bow Wizzle II have their delayed input available for asinine commentary.]

Meanwhile, Ross thinks handing book deals to “real niggas” and adding to the already oversaturated urban crime novel genre assures victory. I’m thinking he should begin a publishing fantasy with his own Triple Crown Publications-inspired release. What nursing assistant wouldn’t read a tale about a dirty corrections officer-turned-rap Tony Montana en route to their shift at the old folks home? It’d probably be the #1 read on the D train, supplanting “True 2 Da Game”, “True 2 Da Game 2″ and “Homo Thug” for all time.

Perhaps Rawse truly believes in the eternal mantra of media relations–there’s no such thing as bad publicity. Maybe a full-on etherization at the hands of Eminem will expose Rawse to a whole new audience that has yet to bask in his thugnificence. Maybe this is all part of the master plan from the biggest boss we’ve seen thus far. Maybe we’ve got it all fucked up and Ross is really pimpin the–

Okay. Let me stop. This nigga’s a moron. He’s also down 60%/40% to Yung Berg, so if you think he deserves to advance to the final, speak now!

Questions? Comments? Requests? Bored with your orangutans? ron@ronmexicocity.com

  • Pierzy

    I can’t believe this dude is serious. This would be like Oliver Miller challenging MJ in ’96 because he was out of the game for a few years. Richard, Slim Shady will eat your alive without taking a breath. The kid can not only rap circles around you, he can do it in a way that is both hilarious and mean.

    You say “boss” every ten seconds…that doesn’t put you top 5. RR about to take a giant L.

    • Pierzy

      And by the way, everybody rhymes about record sales and money, but Em has more of both than almost anyone…definitely more than this dude who probably rents a two-bedroom off I-95.

      “Fuck your jewelery, my record’s almost diamond…”

      • oskamadison

        Co-sign Pierzy…and you never hear Em even talk about his sales and his money. Dudes who are really gettin’ it and are making moves to make sure that they keep gettin’ it (as opposed to spending three or four hundred stacks on some dumb shit like a Phantom) don’t need to talk about it. I took a chance on Ross on his first joint and was mildly amused, I must admit.
        Even the new joints I’ve heard already sounds like his album is going to give Jada’s joint the bizness. But allowing himself to get dragged into a beef with 5 Dimes and flirting with Em?…Not smart.

    • ko

      Ross took out 50. 50 couldn’t do anything but drop gay videos wearing a wig. Then banks came weak with some cookie monster diss shit. Yayo talking that old hand to hand broke nigga crack rhymes. Ross won you homo niggas keep bloggin. Em aint been shit since infinite.

      • mike

        you are fuckin nuts em will murder officer ricky worse than 50 did

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Hear me out Mex,

    If I didn’t know any better, I would think that Ross is actually following this tourney & doing everything he can to win. Idiot, he must think there’s a real prize for being crowned a dumb, dumb nigga…..

    Wait, is there? Because I’ll slap the shit out of my mom & rob a bank with an empty bb gun @ the drop of a sombrero!

    • Arcey

      I was thinkin’ the same thing about Ross following this here DDN tourney

    • DevoG

      That’s a good start pimp, but to qualify for this shit your gonna have to do more.
      While robbing that bank your gonna have to be in the process of smoking a blunt, and still have at least a quarter more on you. Your get away vehicle will have to be a scooter driven by a drunken call girl a.k.a baby moms, who will get you to Scott Storches house in time for you to link up with X to smoke crack next Parle’s bonfire. X originally wanted to smoke in the bathroom but Pacman was in there whopping somebody’s ass. You must then go back home and smack your mom’s yet again, while your father records it. Then you gotta upload the video to worldstar and wait

      • DevoG

        After all that you just might qualify for a 12 seed.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    “It’d probably be the #1 read on the D train, supplanting “True 2 Da Game”, “True 2 Da Game 2″ and “Homo Thug” for all time”

    Ha! Don’t forget “Coldest Winter Ever”……….

    • Pierzy

      …and “B-More Careful”

  • oskamadison

    By the way, how did this beef get started anyway? I don’t pay any attention to either one so I don’t know. Someone bring me up to speed.

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Backstage @ the Soul Tain Awards, 50 took the last of the Buffalo wins that Ross had his eye on. All that was left was salad, & we can see how Rick feels towards anything vegetable.

      Ross got heated, & Fif just looked @ him & started grubbing. Thus, “Maybach Music” was born………….

      • oskamadison

        Grands$, I know you’re only fuckin’ with me but I could really see that happenin’ (lol). Ross should call his next joint “Bleu Cheese in the Maybach” or some shit.

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          Yeah, I’m bullshitting lol. But, from what I understand it was something like that.

          I’m sure someone will get more in-depth with a play by play, but I guess Curtis looked @ Rick funny or didn’t speak to him @ some awards show. Something minimal & feminine, feel me?(No homo). Rick thought he was disrespected. So he throw a dart in “Maybach”.

          Lol @ Blue Cheese……

      • El Tico Loco

        He does seem to talk a lot about food, so he might throw a slick ass line like “I bang on salad bars slob on crab legs”

    • DevoG

      I’ll tell you. Vince McMahon wanted in on this rap money. He secretly signed Ross and 50 to lucrative deals. Watch next year’s Wrestlemania! the main event wiil be 50 and Koko B. Ware vs Ross and the Big Bossman, with Vivica Fox as the guest referee.
      The undercard will be a steel cage match between Jamie Foxx and Billy Ray Cyrus.

      • DownSouth

        LOL! I would like to see that match.

        DOWN SOUTH!!!

  • giantstepp

    @Pierzy….how i the hell you first on all XXL blog comments?

    • Pierzy

      They email the blogs to me 20 minutes before posting them so I can get the drop. Ha!

      Actually, in all honesty, it just happens that way. I’m at the office so the network here is probably quicker than most…

      • giantstepp

        Its all good bruh…just noticing it.

  • General

    I’m just gonna have to wait and see how this turns out before I make any judgements on this move by Ross. Right now it looks suicidal, but I thought the same thing when he went at 50. However, as noted by many in previous posts, Em is a battle rapper, where as 50 has simply become a cartoon. I guess Ross is lookin at it like he has nothin to lose at this point with all the hits he has taken publicly. I still think his new CD will do good numbers, but I don’t see this move helping him either.

  • $ykotic

    I’ma say this though. Whatever momentum Ross has going pretty much will begin to slow down as Em’s release awaits.

    So now Ross wants Em to talk to him so Em’s fans will check him out. Maybe buy a record or two.

    Stevie Wonder can see this.

    4/29

    • jburg

      I was thinking the same thing. Everyone should be able to see that. Em would slaughter him.

  • Dub Sac

    So, does anyone remember Quitter, when Em fucked up Everlast back when they were beefing? That was a serious ass-whooping! I’m really really hoping Em gives it to Ross.

    • Pierzy

      …and then for good measure he borrowed the “Hit Em Up” beat and used ‘Pac’s flow and rhyme style while still destroying Everlast.

      “Now it’s all about country, you gave up hip-hop/49,000 copies, the week your shit dropped/While my sales makin’ records break/Two and a half million scanned by the second week/Motherfucker I hit ‘em up!”

      • Dub Sac

        “You a, “Black Jesus,” heart attack seizures/Too many cheeseburgers McDonald’s Big Mac greases/White devil, washed up honkey/Mixed up cracker who crossed over to country”

        • jburg

          Ha ha ha I still got that shit on a mixtape!! Hey killed that dude. Lets not forget about the Green Lantern Mixtapes. Em did Ja worse that 50 did!!!

        • $ykotic

          Em doodoo’ed on both them cats.

          Em will put on the Curly wig, make a video satire of Ross life, and still verbally rape him. You can see it coming…

          Business wise DTR is not strong enough to hang with an Em release. It needs to have an explosive first day. There’s no “Lollipop” on there to do a Wayne. It must maintain more than 70k a week to even get a global appeal. In 3 weeks. Hell DTR has that bread aisle dude to beat right NOW. Giving nothing but time and ammo to the dude he was “beefing” with in the first place.

          4/29

  • Apollo Moses

    First of all. You a fool with that Senator Clay Davis quote. “Sheeeeeeeit,” Ricky Steamboat better keep it pro wrasslin because Em would provide that ether to make is soul burn slow. 9 out of 10 listeners would put their money on Slim Shady for the sake of sheer comedy. I leave one out there for the dumb deaf and blind radio lover.
    I highly doubt he will goad Em any further, he just put that out there cuz you know…he aint no punk…just a fraud.

  • Tyler

    What’s the deal Ron M? Much respect but I have been tryin’ 2 send U an email of a track on this crazyass Rock Whiteboy going in hardcore on everybody with this Officer Ricky & Mr. I got shot 9 times nigga but your email address keeps sending it back sayin’ the file is 2 big ya’ dig. It’s 1 song called: Get Your!
    from this whiteboy name Marc Mays at SolutionsGlobalMedia.com
    What’s another email address on U my Dude?
    U need 2 hear this joint then speak on it 4 the streets. Dat Whiteboy is making some serious points. Holla back

  • Worley

    “They’ll go full-Lecter and make a couple Chopper Suits out of his Crisco-enriched walrus skin.”

    Crying laughing.

    No doubt about it. I think the sh*t will hit the fan after Slim’s release and before 50′s to maximize the benefit for Aftermath. Grimace needs to slow his roll.

  • http://www.myspace.com/Lyrik07 L-Y, NawfWestSide

    Choppa Suit on dec, bllllaaatttt!!! Itz 4/20 time to record and get blllluuunnted!!! We know the capabilitiez of Em, but would it be advantageous to take on the Bawse, not sure, but i know one thing Fiddy would definitely benefit from it.

  • Domjel

    Rawse is the kinda nigga that doesn’t realize he is being laughed at until one of his boys pulls him aside. I give DDN title to Rawse because at least Bird is a young’in. Rawse is more Mitch Green than a nigga with coke dealin’ skills. And 50 has been mighty quiet lately.

    • $ykotic

      I can see Gunplay eating a salad while Ross is cracking yet another lobster tail…

      “Yo Boss, you know they’re laughing at you, not with you…

  • BIGNAT

    “They’ll go full-Lecter and make a couple Chopper Suits out of his Crisco-enriched walrus skin.”
    oh god mex where you get this shit from

  • Ya Boy

    Choppers Suit Approves Of this blog!
    “Boss” is trying real hard 2 get a buzz and people still dont care. If He Was a “Tall ass Gangsta” then maybe people would pay attention. Boss!

  • c b w

    Rick Ross just signed his death certificate fuckin’ around with Eminem. This is about to be the equivalent of when a hood crime reaches the suburbs. Em will slay Ross with bars or cash. All Em has to do is have a halfway decent hit and the white kids will find a way to end the Boss’ career.

    Ross may be right about Em’s swag. He hasn’t been the same since Proof died, but that’s even more of an excuse for him to come back and start fuckin’ with people.

    Finally, tell Gunplay to wash. He’s the hip hop Pigpen.

  • Around and Around

    Ross eats Crab Meats….

    Crab meats…. nigga

  • http://thisis50.com gaddic

    ross is just too fake and 2 small compared to em’s huge talent.
    This beef would be like Socrates versus George Bush!

    • http://www.myspace.com/detroitzown J.X.B.

      em would kill ross! tell him to sick (madcap)and (detroits own) on him ! check them boyz out!