I Don’t Care If They See Me As a Sideshow Freak! Why Do You Care?

Every single social networking device I woefully neglect is up in arms over the upcoming reality program/ghetto love connection that is Plies’ Goonette. The “realist” rapper alive is no stranger to mainstream music’s most popular business model. Even casual fans are aware of the plan that suggests creating a sideshow intent on eclipsing the actual product sold.

Were Sprite still concerned with obeying thirst, they’d have already run a campaign showing Plies being beaten to a Florida orange pulp with a pillowcase full of 12-ounce cans at the hands of Pete Rock & CL Smooth.

[Blogger’s Note: Please don’t tell me I’m the only one here who saw Bad Boys. I mean the Sean Penn one, not Mike Lowwww-ry.]

In this case, the sideshow is twofold. Plies’ ignoramus act speaks to the minstrel show audience via flagrantly vapid music and interviews (except one). The search for Smurfette—oops, I mean, “Goonette,”—serves as the blockbuster sequel.

The littlest goon that you've seen thus far

As if downplaying his own intelligence and making a scuba descent 20,000 leagues below For the Love of Ray J aren’t enough, Ya Woy Ply wants to exploit little people in the process. Talk about hitting every branch on the way down, right? You know damn well Plies ain’t actually gonna bust it to the shoe where that crusty little pole dwarf is raising toddlers twice her size on damp singles.

He’ll let her rock until one of the later episodes (so he doesn’t look like a bad person), but he ain’t locking that shit down.

Shawty got gifts

Luckily for the dwipper (dwarf stripper)—known only as “Fire”—she’s used to being a spectacle and doesn’t mind being a sideshow freak of sorts. Her attitude and approach toward the situation reminds me of the Chris Rock routine where he suggests little people need become guides for the blind. Rock implies that it’s difficult enough for a little person to find work, and that the money spent training dogs—who require support and maintenance themselves to only get part of the job done—is better applied as seeing eye man salary.

The career choice of reality star probably leads to greater opportunity at a far more appealing proportion of earning potential to dignity decline than does say, umm… walking a nigga.

As for Ply, he’s long since given up on maintaining a respectable dignity differential. Thankfully, we’ll be able to observe the completion of his undoing on the small screen soon.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Did Ply say he’s the only rapper to popularize the term “goon”? I’m pretty sure that’s not correct. ron@ronmexicocity.com

  • macdatruest

    Ookay.

  • $ykotic

    Ain’t Plies a RN(Registered nurse)? What is wrong with these dudes?

    Now I’m expecting Keith Richards’ show called “Skin Pop for Love”.

  • geico lizard

    “Did Ply say he’s the only rapper to popularize the term “goon”?”
    ^
    I think plies said he is the shortest and only college educated rapper to throw around the term goon to describe his study buddies I mean shooters. Plies is walking around with his accountant and lawyer calling them goons,gtfoh. Unless its Bernie Madoff he is not a goon.

  • geico lizard

    With her working so hard we know she is never “short” on the rent.

    • http://colby-sempek.com Ghost

      Well done sir…

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      rimshot

  • Mike Crown

    “Dwipper” AHAHAHAHA!!!!

    I hope that get’s added to the Slanguistics.

  • Michelle S.

    What is this fuckery I have stumbled upon?

    I’m putting out a reality show soon. I don’t know what’s it’s gonna be about (b/c my life is boring so I’ll be cancelled after the 1st season) but I want the money these bitches fuckboys people get. How much does Ray J get paid again? I need a good job w/ benefits too. “Times is hard.”

    Anyways, I’ll watch it and support my favorite rapper. Oops.

  • Michelle S.

    And Plies is only about 5’2″. She’d be perfect for him.

  • tyson mike

    plies did popularize the word goon in my opiun

    • El Tico Loco

      He made the word seem lame

  • Detroit P

    Did Ply say he’s the only rapper to popularize the term “goon”? I’m pretty sure that’s not correct.
    ^^^^^
    What other rapper popularized it?….the only other time I’ve heard of the term is from comic books i.e. the petty thugs that always get caught and beat up….sidenote: I’m waiting on that next Plies album, I need some more shit that bump like “Me and my Goons”

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      you from detroit. can’t think of any squad from there?

      • Detroit P

        Lol!…Oh Shit…I forgot about them niggas….but still…they far from popularized that word…lol cmon Ron give that nigga Plies his props, he did popularize that word…even if you hate his music, you gotta atleast give him that.

        • DevoG

          Scraping the bottom of the barrel, huh? Y’all actually discussing who popularized the word goon! GTFOH! I’m still tripping off of “Dwippers”. That shit made my Monday.

      • DETROIT

        i gotta give mexico props for the trick trick shout! if he came out around the same time as plies, then i wouldn’t mention it…but on the real, the goon squad was out in like ’94…15 YEARS AGO, so you have to give them some credit. and, believe it or not, they were nation wide. where ever they bumped booty music, they bumped goon squad. i was in a club in miami in ’95 and they was bumpin goon squad shit!

        BUT, if you take them out of the equation, i’d have to give it to everyone’s favorite rapper JIM JONES. one eye willey and the goonies was his creation (strictly so he could do the blood symbol over his eye without being censored!) from jim’s goonies came goons! AND HE GOT ALL OF THAT SHIT FROM THE MOVIE GOONIES! remeber he used to say that he always had the goonie goo goos wit him!

        • Detroit P

          popularize…as in popular…as in the person that pushed it into pop culture..as in making it so now people other than the fans and the people “in the know”, know about it…as in made it “hot”…I know about goon squad, I know about goonie goo goo…and I also know that that shit was not popular..if you ask the average person(even the average black person) they won’t know what that shit is…Thats like calling Trick Trick a celebrity..he’s not…that’s like saying somebody popularized the word Piff…nobody popularized the word “Piff”..”Piff” is not a Popular word…”Swag” is a popular word..you see what I’m sayin now

        • DETROIT

          i agree about trick trick, even tho i think that he was way more popular than you give him credit for (as evidenced by the fact that he still has a deal 15 years later!). dude has sold like 2.5 million records over his career.

          but as far a jimmy…DUDE, HALF OF THE RAP GAME DRESSES LIKE THIS NIGGA, AND YOU THINK THAT HE ISN’T POPULAR! who was the first nigga you seen with str8 leg jeans, or pocket chains? he was, and still is, a bigger presence in hip hop culture than plies! LOOK HOW MANY RAP NIGGAS ARE BLOODS NOW! jim was talkin that goon shit before plies even dropped. at a time when he and the dips were at the peak of their popularity!

    • Dub Sac

      Scarface was using the word on The Fix, back before Plies even came out.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    Popeye the Sailor Man had a goon named Alice. Back when our parents were kids. Google it.

    Soooooooo, is this an attempt to make himself taller like Skee-Lo on that old ass “I Wish” song? Dwarfs, midgets, li’l people, what-have-you, don’t posses any tent-pitching skills imo. Even one with a nice brickhouse body is still like a 9 year old female bodybuilder. I’d feel like a child molester looking @ one & thinking “Yeah, that’s what’s up!!”.

    Is Ply medically catergorized as a Dwarf? 5″ 2′ is pretty short for a grown ass man. I wonder if he gets an SSI check, or has handicapped placards in his many luxury vehicles.

    This show is disturbing. If I want to see midget entertainment, I’ll watch the Wizard of Oz.

    Let’s just hope he doesn’t get one pregnant.

    That seeing eye midget shit sounds like it should be an ad on Craig’s List right now. Is it? I’d “buy” one just so I could pay even less attention in life.

    • Pierzy

      I don’t know, Tony…it could be the funniest pregnancy evar!!

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

        Or the shortest…….
        *rimshot*

  • tommy gunz

    iss ya woy ply woy *in the booth*

    yes maam the hypotenuse is congruent with the parallel angles *in nursing school*

  • What the ?

    #1, those strippers better have a nickle for life contract ,cause they butt smuggly.

    #2 Plies is easily the worst out, yet popular ? Hummmm, games fucked.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    **FYI for Simpons’ Fans**

    Moe is dating a midget tonight….is it me or is this like the 5th time that Ron Mex has showed us his Ms. Cleo-esque abilities? Or did he know I was going to say that…..

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    yea cuz i seen that shit ,he waited for them niccas to come into his cell ……but what about the whiteboy who made a bomb out of that radio? Now that was dope.

  • BIGNAT

    i watched the video he paused for a bit before he explained what a goonette was. like i better make this shit sound good or i am going fuck up my reality show money. also dwippers………… DWIPPERS LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • El Tico Loco

    Let’s kill the word goon before is too late, is new izzle and swag.

  • anutha_level

    “[Blogger’s Note: Please don’t tell me I’m the only one here who saw Bad Boys. I mean the Sean Penn one, not Mike Lowwww-ry.]”

    nah mane…you are not alone. that’s one of the ILLEST cult-classics of all time. up there with “escape from NY” w/kurt russell and isaac hayes, and “warriors”

  • latino heat

    damn Anutha Level, i though for sure you were gonna say you’d “creampie that(midget)hoe”.