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The Greatest MySpace Rapper Alive…


Now before some of you Def Jam employees get your shit all fucked the fuck up and take my name off your list for Def Jam sponsored open bar parties let me explain why Jadakiss is the greatest MySpace rapper alive.

1) NaS isn’t on MySpace
2) Jay-Z isn’t on MySpace

Bong! Next in line is arguably Jada. I don’t feel like having a silly debate with any of you this afternoon. Just hear me out and if you disagree keep it to yourself. Tell you what, let’s make all things equal and for those that may agree with me y’all can keep it to yourselves as well. No one is going to be able to dissuade me of my opinion after I saw Jadakiss perform at NYC’s Highline Ballroom last night.

The last time I saw Jadakiss live was at a B.I.G. tribute at a long lost NYC nightspot called the Palladium. Easily 8-9 years ago. Maybe I caught the Lox at some more recent shit, but I can’t really remember anymore. That is clearly the effects from smoking too many Dutch Masters cigars. Don’t do drugs party people. Give them to me. Anyhoo, it has been a grip since I can remember watching Jadakiss rock a show.

I have been missing out. First off, The Lox and Jada have a mighty healthy catalog. They have features, they have singles and they have hits. Hardbody hits. It’s almost like going into a time capsule and bringing along some of the best underground rap music you ever listened to. Jadakiss is also a solid performer [ll] as well. He doesn’t leave any tracks on long enough to get boring. He flips through his catalog like we might flip through a photo album lingering on a long ago pic until we laugh out loud and then keeping it moving.

Even though I called Jadakiss a rapper I have to give him the credit for gripping the microphone like an emcee last night. He brought out friends to accompany him through songs and then quickly dismissed them so that he could continue blistering through his catalog. He did let Busta Rhymes loiter a bit longer than everyone else but that was so that Busta could anoint Jadakiss the new king of New York. If I were Jada I would have told Busta to keep the crown. Kings lose those shits, but teachers, them motherfuckers stay intelligentsia, ya’ deeg?

The Last Kiss, Jadakiss’ latest CD is prA’li gonna be like the previous two. There will be four(4) incredible songs that Jada will add to his concert playlist but we won’t be kneeling down before him for this album. That is another reason why I say Jadakiss is the greatest MySpace rapper. Have you ever known a MySpace rapper to post more than four(4) songs at a time? They usually be horrible joints too, but y’all already know that. Jadakiss has four(4) hits on this new CD and the rest are for his true fans.

MySpace was one of the sponsors for last night’s event. If this is the new promotional tool for Universal Records, or at least the new farm (no Asher Roth Mennonite relatives) for talent then I want to give Universal Music Group and the folks at MySpace some free advice from Dallas Penn (the defacto teacher of these internets).

Post new music from Jadakiss, Asher Roth, Rick Ro$$ and all of your artists on their MySpace pages. When MS users tranfer these songs to the playlists on their own pages find out where these users live using their zip codes. Use that information to geographically market your artists performances. Great performances should translate into CD sales and other streams of revenue for your corporation, er, your artists. You know who the fuck I am talking about?!?

Listen, I shouldn’t pretend to know shit about shirley since my highest level of scholastic achievement is a general equivalency diploma, but the truth is that I do know shit about the internets and I doubt that most of you have even read this drop to this point. We are living in a post-literate society now. It’s not that people can’t read they just don’t want to read. They would rather get their information from the tubes – boob tubes, intertubes, YouTubes, etc.

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