2009 DDN Tournament – The Final Four

In everything going exactly according to plan, something isn’t quite right. Welcome to Detroit, motherfuckers! Where dreams are born, starved and murdered in a drive-by on the Lodge.

Seriously. What kind of tournament finds all #1 seeds in the final four? A cursed one wraught with wretchedness!

Here are your Elite H8 results:

Midwest Final
#1 Yung Berg (59.3%) def. #2 Plaxico Burress (40.7%)

I have no words. I know Berg is the new Pussy Monster, but… Plaxico shot himself, dammit! This one should have at least been closer.

East Final
#1 Jim Jones (57.4%) def. #2 Chris Brown (42.6%)

I know some of you XXL woman beaters don’t think what Breezy did is all that bad.

South Final
#1 Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em (53.6%) def. #6 Parlae (46.4%)

Parlae’s magical run to the H8 comes to an end. He almost pulled that shit off, though. Soulja Boy needed every last bit of his supporters to push him into the semis.

West Final
#1 Rick Ross (63.4%) def. #2 Pacman Jones (36.6%)

I know Rick Ross and his crew are a walking embarrassment, but… is he REALLY a dumber nigga than Pacman Jones? Y’all are aware Pacman might not make a CFL team at this point, right? Not only did Rawse win, but he obliterated Pacman. This baffles me. Discuss.

The Final Four:

#1 Yung Berg vs. #1 Rick Ross

I’m so confused at this point, I can’t even call it. Maybe Officer Ricky’s winning the whole thing. Did Yung Berg’s vaginal adventures secure him a trip to the finals? You people are clearly cruel enough to send Lil’ Christian to Detroit again. Why should we expect him to leave the D anything other than butt-ass naked with a mouth full of foreign pubic hair? [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#1 Jim Jones vs. #1 Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em

This too is a pretty evenly-matched tandem of dumb niggas. As great a late run Jonesey has had, Soulja Boy’s consistency is only matched by The Berg himself. I’m riding with he who bird walks, chicken dances and thanks the white man for a chance to do it all. Jim’s life imitates and surpasses art by not only attending court with marijuana eyes, but by tweeting about it to zoot… I mean, boot. Forgive me. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

Questions? Comments? Requests? Welcome to the Motor City! ron@ronmexicocity.com

  • Pierzy

    Damn, what an epic match-up. It’s like 1982 all over again.

    I’m going to have to go with Sergeant Ross against Soulja (likes to touch a) Boy.

    Epic.

  • Moving Sideways

    All #1 seeds, that shit is corny. That’s why secretaries always win the goddamn office pool.

    Like Monsieur Mexico said, Plax and Pac should have been motherfucking shoe-ins. That notwithstanding, you gotta like C.O. Ross and Young Mr. Tell ‘Em in the Finals with SB for the crown.

  • giantstepp

    Soulja Boy Tell’em over Jim Jones in a landslide. Officer Ricky has too much momentum to be upset by YB, even with YB’s latest fuckary!

    The thanking the slave master for “Ice” and “Tattoos” comment makes SB Tell’em the clear favorite. Man, still havent gotten over that shit! Considering the God Awful music, dances, rich nigga shit and overall coonary, no way in hell SB is loosing.

  • geico lizard

    Young Berg was flirting on Twitter with a woman he thought was Keisha Knight Pulliam. This dumb fuck gave out his real number online for the world to see. He said he wanted to fly her down to miami. Young Berg is a walking Self Ether everyday, he has to win this whole thing now.

  • http://www.dalockerroom.com Deez Nutz

    lol@vaginal adventures…Rick Ross is still the favorite…”You ain’t got to lie Craig”-Friday

  • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com DJ Daddy Mack

    Thee battles of the retard young cats for the finals. With Soulja Boy taking the gold. We gotta do a 3rd place match up!!!

  • Worley

    Yung Berg’s random coochie adventures secure his win over Grimace easily. And I hate to say it but I’m going to vote against JJ for the first time. When it comes to Goons vs Coons you gotta know that Coons are the better DDNs.

  • http://xxl gside

    Yall a bunch of Hypocrite when it comes to Yung Berg like ain’t naw one of you ain’t never ate no strange pussy . Pus look ate the dudes name yung give him a break rember player fuck up too. Plus ross lie to much for him to lose .it’s like he’s fox news and he thinks were a bunch of dum ass red necks starting a beef with 50 to get to divert us from the truth he could have just put the cd out and let the chips fall were they may , plus with plax out he’s the winner.

  • $ykotic

    It’s them captions when you vote that get you!

    Souljah gets that vote!

    Pacman just need a job. Like most Americans. He should be on infinite suicide watch.

  • Jamal7Mile

    WELCOME TO DETROIT!!!

    Those of you with tickets to the Final 4, I’d stay off the Lodge freeway if I were you. It’s been featured a few times on The First 48.

    Jim Jones AND Yung Berg in Detroit? Again? At the same time??? If only…

    How to vote… again, I just don’t know. Maybe I’ll just say “fuck it and fuck them” and let the captions get me like they do $yk.

    …just like voting for my City Council…

    …and former Mayor…

    …the right person will win…

    DAMN, I GOT JOKES!!! HAAAAHAHAHAHA!! Oh my stomache!

    • $ykotic

      My homie just told me last night about Detroit right now!

      Hold your head out there, J.

      • Jamal7Mile

        *in Sweet Daddy’s voice from Good Times*

        JJ, you in trou-buuuuulll!! LOL!

        Nah, we should be alright come election time. Most of City Council’s thuggery and fuckedupness has rendered themselves un-electable as far as reelections go. There’s a “clean-house” vibe going on around these parts. Dave Bing, a Detroit Piston icon-ternt-bidnessman (he’s a BIDNESS, man!) got a good shot at the top spot. He’s just a lil too secretive for his own good, though. We need transparency in our government.

        Hopefully we’ll get it right this time, $yk! Pray for us!!

        • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

          i think you should save isiah from florida int’l.

        • Jamal7Mile

          SAVING ISIAH… Yeaahh! I wish I was 3 months old, sucking on them crack headed Halle Berry tah-tahs. Unwanted, unexpected new-born bills get all the glory, don’t they?!!

          Ike went from giving Detroit two of the best years (decades, if you’re cheap like me) in ’89 – ’90 to coaching fi. Yup, lowercase f and i, because I’ve yet to recieve proof that they are proper nouns…

          Damn, I’m speechless!!

  • chillin mayne

    jim jones album was actually kinda decent…dat na na nana shit was stupid…but he facin mister “we on the phone like da da da da da” wateva da hell dat means…

  • Shawty J

    It’s gonna be Soulja Boy Vs. Yung Berg in the finals.Soulja Boy has consistently displayed various spurts of niggerdom and coonery with his retarded ass dances, retarded as lyrics, rich nigga shit, and his love for Massa. Yung Berg is a rising star in terms of his level of stupidity. This is gonna be so close that it isn’t funny.

  • that nigga

    Wish I coulda voted for young berg and Jim at the same time.