2009 DDN Tournament – DNCAA Championship Game

You can get with this…

Gus Johnson: What a final week of DDN action we’ve enjoyed, huh Clark?

Clark Kellogg: And I’m really glad you got to be here in your native Detroit to see it, Gus.

GJ: *overly excited, as per usual* Ha! Haaaaaaaaa! You know it. You know it. And I’ve got to say, the people of Detroit really need this, Clark. It’s great to gather in The D and take the focus off of ourselves for a little while. We really could use someone else’s misfortunes to delight in at this juncture.

CK: I could only imagine. What better way to do it than with these delicious chocolate student-athletes?

GJ: Excuse me?

CK: What?

GJ: Did you just call them–

CK: This is a delectable engagement and I’m glad I’ve been able to watch these young mens grind it out so long and so hard.

GJ: Ummm. Right. I got it. So what do you think of last round?

CK: As a participant in the 1979 DDN Tournament, I take this pretty personally, Gus.

GJ: *excited* H-ohhhhhh, yeah! I remember. You and Magic, not too far from here!

CK: That’s right. As you’ll remember, we were all over each other.

GJ: *long pause* I’ve got nothin’.

CK: So to see a close one like Rick Ross & Yung Berg at this point in the tournament really chokes my chicken, but it’s what we live for.

GJ: Who do you have to take it all? I’m staying Midwest. I’m going with Yung Boss… The consummate “artist”. How about you, Clark?

CK: Well, Soulja Boy’s got that good delicious chocolate I’d been talkin’ about. I think he’ll be about ready to mouthfuck the shit out of the opposition!

GJ: What the f– [cuts to matchup statistical graphic]

Official Final Four Results:

#1 Yung Berg (54.5%) def. #1 Rick Ross (45.5%)
#1 Soulja Boy Tell’ Em (69.3%) def. #1 Jim Jones (30.7%)

And now… Your maaaaaaaaaaaaain event!

DDN Tournament Final:

#1 Yung Berg vs. #1 Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em

This is the matchup you fill in your brackets from day one, look at, and assure yourself it can’t possibly happen this way. In a DDN Tournament with very few upsets and only one true Cindarella (Parlae) you’d have to have assumed the two season MVPs would meet. They both hate blackness. They both do everything they can to stay on the NP radar. Discuss!

You make the call. I make the call. It’s all for all. Soulja Boy. Yung Berg the Chef… It’s about to be one left…

Sorry… I’m feeling very retro this 4/21.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Tical. ron@ronmexicocity.com

  • Pierzy

    HAHAHAHA – Clark Kellogg! The only thing you forgot, Mex, was his ridiculous creepy smile the entire time!

    As for the contest itself, I have to go with Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em on this one. He’s a phenom in the worst sense of the word…

  • General

    This is a hell of a match up, but my vote has to go to Soulja Boy, he can’t open his mouth without sayin somethin stupid. Besides I would hate to see him get 50 lashes from his Massa if he lost this tournament

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    i haven’t voted yet. i’ve been staring at the ballot since i posted.

    • Pierzy

      I think you may need to consult the coin flip on this one

    • DevoG

      I had Pacman vs Jimmy in an epic finals. That would have been a ballot to stare at.

      With these to though, it’s clear blow out in favor of massa’s favorite. SB FTW!

      • DevoG

        Maybe now he can use his championship ring to pull Megan Good.

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    CK: Well, Soulja Boy’s got that good delicious chocolate I’d been talkin’ about. I think he’ll be about ready to mouthfuck the shit out of the opposition!

    GJ: What the f– [cuts to matchup statistical graphic]
    -_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

    Lmmfao! That’s was classic Mex! Man, I told your ass before (no homo), you kill me with the conversations! Too funny homie.

    But, I’m disappointed Ross is gone. The after party snack buffet is now officially safe, though. I’m upset about Jim too, but at least we don’t have to worry about roaches crawling around anymore.

    I’m going to roll with the Bergness Monster on this one. He’s probably still galavanting around with cooch stank stuck in his moustache. @ least Soulja Boy is smart(?) enough to try & make $ through his God awful rapping. BM is just a dumb, dumb nigga.

    If he teams up with Chingy this summer, perhaps his stock will increase to SDN levels. Until then Tha Monster is taking the trophy home!

    & then getting robbed for it.

    • Young History in the Making

      Alan Berg gettin the gold over Soulja Boy…and then gettin robbed for it….. *nods* yeah that sounds about right..

      • Jamal7Mile

        Sheeeeiitt!! That gold ain’t leaving Detroit!

  • Jamal7Mile

    As dumb as Soldja Boy is, I can’t forget about the fact that he found a way to make millions on the ‘nets, post-cyber bubble burst. And from his bedroom, no less… using Froot Loops!! Hmmmm…

    Now if he managed to lose All of that (he’s working on it) before the voting deadline, ala Scott Storch, then yeah I’d vote for him.

    Berg never had enough chips to begin with in order to buffer his bufoonery. Hence, he totals mopeds instead of Lambo’s when picking up chicks.

    That being said, I’m off to the polls!!

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Lol @ “buffer his bufoonery”

  • Worley

    Sad to see JJ go. Not enough recent jackassery. However, we must give Chingy and Mike Joooones honorable mention. Chingy can’t tell the difference between a woman and a shim (allegedly). Mike Joooones can’t tell the difference between “homies” and snakes in the grass. Well, sometimes they can be the same thing, but still.

    In any event, I have to go with Soulja Boy. That coon is more consistent than Jigga ’96 – ’01.

    Soulja Boy for DDN 2009.

  • Cam Jones

    All I’m saying is if Officer Ricky went at Eminem earlier in the tourney he would have beasted his way to the finals like Carolina did this year. That being said man it is toss up on this one. Both these functioning retards are working hard at proving they are the dumbest sonovabitches since the geniuses that thought SoulPlane was a good idea for a movie and the Viacom that makes BET show it every weekend to further embarass the black race.

  • Jamal7Mile

    Some of the stuff that happened DURING the tournament should qualify for the 2010 DDN’s. All we gotta do is remember to nominate them next year.

    Ross baiting Em???? It’s early, but I think I’ll nominate Ross based on what I *think is going to happen to him. It’s pretty stupid fooling with Shady.

  • DV8

    See what happens when im gone for a few days, SMH….im waiting for next year. I cannot believe Pacman did not make it to the title game.

    Hey you know who we forgot to include in this tourney? O.J. Simpson. Im sure he would have been a strong competitor against other DN’s.

  • Lowedwn

    I gotta put my bid in for Berg on this one, I mean if we go back through the last couple months he probably has the most consistentcy of posts on here.

    But damn this a close one, Soulja Boi got more youth on his side though, so there are no doubts he’ll be highly seeded next year and if he isn’t, i can only assume it’s because his career is over and then well….i can live with that.

  • http://callmephlip.blogspot.com/ Phlip

    I am convinced that Young Berg saw this tournament unfolding and committed to some serious fuckery to stay in the game…
    However
    Soulja Boy is a hall of famer, I am pretty sure he’ll take this one.

  • Bobo D

    I’m voting for the one who has showed more coonary since Boojangles. Give us a dance Soulja Boy!

    *Prepares choppa suit for inaugural ball*

  • giantstepp

    I demand a recount Mex!!! As worthy as YB is, no way Officer Ricky, The Bawse is not a finalist!! Oh well, at SouljaBoy tell’em is still alive. He was my pick to win it all!!

  • Ya Boy

    My Vote is with Bergy all the way. Soulja Boy is a dumb muthafucka but we cant forget that this man earned his money and made his name out there. Bergy on the other hand? well he has nothing.

  • $ykotic

    Yung Bird got my vote. After that Twitter fiasco this weekend where he gave out his real # trying to bag a broad.

    But seriously, Mexx where did you get that Bow Wow picture with the Kizzy from Roots beads?

    That had me rolling!

  • BIGNAT

    FUCK IT THEY BOTH WIN YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  • daz_oc

    tough decision……gotta go with berg

  • latino heat

    just throwing this out there, what happens in the event of a tie? if there were ever two people that deserved this “honor” it’s these two.

  • BGZ

    This is some Highlander shit… both deserve it… gotta go with S. Boy Smell’Em.

  • c b w

    Fuck a tie mane!!!!! This shit will be going into overtime!!!

    I gotta give it to SouljaBoy. That mushmouth nigga has gots to be the one.

  • Illegal1

    I think Berg should take this one, he’s been putting in work all year to make himself one of the dumbest dumb niggaz of all time. Soulja boy’s dumb iq is not quite as low as he finds ways to make money.

    Talking shit to Maino, wrecking a moped (on tape), having your manager run away from police, eating a girls box out on stage(on tape), getting robbed for his chain…c’mon man, this dude has this on lock–hands down!

  • oskamadison

    The OFFICIAL DDN champion of 2009 wasn’t even invited to the tournament…Orenthal!!!!!! I don’t care what all of these ig’nant ass knee-grows did, nothing tops beating a double murder when THE ENTIRE FREE WORLD knows you did it, including YOUR lawyer and the judge, and instead of falling back and keeping yourself out of the public eye, you get caught up in bullshit hotel robbery…over sports memorabilia!!! WITH co-D’s that hit the high notes on you quicker than Mariah. All that being said, the title is Berg’s…to get gaffled for.