You can get with this…
Gus Johnson: What a final week of DDN action we’ve enjoyed, huh Clark?
Clark Kellogg: And I’m really glad you got to be here in your native Detroit to see it, Gus.
GJ: *overly excited, as per usual* Ha! Haaaaaaaaa! You know it. You know it. And I’ve got to say, the people of Detroit really need this, Clark. It’s great to gather in The D and take the focus off of ourselves for a little while. We really could use someone else’s misfortunes to delight in at this juncture.
CK: I could only imagine. What better way to do it than with these delicious chocolate student-athletes?
GJ: Excuse me?
GJ: Did you just call them–
CK: This is a delectable engagement and I’m glad I’ve been able to watch these young mens grind it out so long and so hard.
GJ: Ummm. Right. I got it. So what do you think of last round?
CK: As a participant in the 1979 DDN Tournament, I take this pretty personally, Gus.
GJ: *excited* H-ohhhhhh, yeah! I remember. You and Magic, not too far from here!
CK: That’s right. As you’ll remember, we were all over each other.
GJ: *long pause* I’ve got nothin’.
CK: So to see a close one like Rick Ross & Yung Berg at this point in the tournament really chokes my chicken, but it’s what we live for.
GJ: Who do you have to take it all? I’m staying Midwest. I’m going with Yung Boss… The consummate “artist”. How about you, Clark?
CK: Well, Soulja Boy’s got that good delicious chocolate I’d been talkin’ about. I think he’ll be about ready to mouthfuck the shit out of the opposition!
GJ: What the f– [cuts to matchup statistical graphic]
Official Final Four Results:
#1 Yung Berg (54.5%) def. #1 Rick Ross (45.5%)
#1 Soulja Boy Tell’ Em (69.3%) def. #1 Jim Jones (30.7%)
And now… Your maaaaaaaaaaaaain event!
DDN Tournament Final:
#1 Yung Berg vs. #1 Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em
This is the matchup you fill in your brackets from day one, look at, and assure yourself it can’t possibly happen this way. In a DDN Tournament with very few upsets and only one true Cindarella (Parlae) you’d have to have assumed the two season MVPs would meet. They both hate blackness. They both do everything they can to stay on the NP radar. Discuss!
You make the call. I make the call. It’s all for all. Soulja Boy. Yung Berg the Chef… It’s about to be one left…
Sorry… I’m feeling very retro this 4/21.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Tical. firstname.lastname@example.org