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T.I. prepares for the pokey

So, the fact that T.I.’s giving so many interviews discussing whether or not he’s a snitch means he’s widely suspected of being a snitch, right?

The other day, I saw there was an interview here at XXL in which it was discussed. And then I saw that there’s a big feature on it in the next issue of Vibe. They’ve got him on the cover dressed like Malcolm X, which is just wrong on so many levels.

I guess they figured T.I. is about to go to jail, and Malcolm X of course famously went to jail, where he converted to Islam. But Malcolm X also used to rub lotion on an old white man’s balls for money. Let’s keep our fingers crossed that T.I. isn’t forced to do anything teh ghey while he’s locked up.

Also, this cover has me wondering if T.I. might convert to Islam while he’s locked up, like Snoop Dogg. I knew Snoop Dogg was at least sympathetic to the Palestinian cause, when he pulled out of a show he was contracted to play in Israel, but I figured he’d just smoked weed with some A-rabs and got talked into it. Next thing you know, he’s on stage giving speeches with Calypso Louis Farrakhan.

Speaking of which, all of a sudden, I find myself discussing Snoop Dogg and Calypso Louis Farrakhan, and Rush Limbaugh is on TV every day of the week. I didn’t die and wake up in 1993, did I?

Anyhoo, you’d have to think that T.I.’s handlers wouldn’t even allow him to discuss whether or not he’s a snitch, unless they were trying to put the kibosh on rumors.

I mean, I could see if these were just stories that were popping up in the blogosphere, where people aren’t successful enough to be respectful of artists, but these are interviews here at XXL, and in Vibe. And if you’ve been following this space for a few years now, you probably have a good idea of how it works at these magazines. In some extreme cases, they won’t even let you do a story praising an artist. Word to Charles Hamilton. But they definitely aren’t gonna let you associate an artist’s name with the word snitch, unless the word came down from upstairs.

Let me guess: The TIs are concerned that people are gonna see T.I.’s bullshit reality series (my bad, if this has ceased making any sense), Road to Redemption, and they’re gonna wonder how in the fuck an umpteen time felon is even allowed to spend time with people’s kids, let alone receive a shortened sentence for giving them tips on how to avoid a life of crime. I mean, the guy’s got a rap sheet that’s probably taller than he is, if you stood it on end. My semi-cousin Don, one of the only people to ever break out of the Workhouse here in St. Louis, would make a better role model for today’s youth.

I read an excerpt of the story in Vibe yesterday, courtesy of Miss Info, aka the King of the Internet, and T.I. was basically saying that he couldn’t have snitched, because his plea deal is a matter of public record; you can have eskay look it up for you Lexis-Nexis. As if they’re gonna put the fact that he told on somebody in the public record. Again, this is why we don’t need T.I. acting as a role model for anyone’s kids.

Probably the only way we’ll find out is if the Smoking Gun, or someone who’s capable of investigative journalism (DJ Vlad?) looks into the case. I doubt they could get the Feds to cop to offering T.I. time off of his sentence in exchange for ratting someone out, but they could at least seek out the co-d in the case and find out how long he’s going away for. Or who knows? Maybe Vibe really did get down to the bottom of this case. I’d cop and find out for myself, but I heard they had to jack up the price, since they couldn’t get anyone to advertiste, and I’m just not sure I could justify it in today’s economy.

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