I was told there’d be a riot

I keep hearing that this summer is supposed to be one of the hottest summers evar, with people rioting because the economy is so fucked the fuck up, and mofos getting thrown in FEMA concentration camps and what have you, but I’m not sure what to think.

I look outside my window, and all I hear is birds chirping and Mexican people doing whatever it is they’ve been doing to my neighbors house for the past two years now. (I wish they’d shut the fuck up. I might have to go over there dressed as La Migra just to scare them off.)

And these things don’t tend to be so premeditated. People don’t sit around thinking, Man, the economy’s at the lowest point it’s been since 2001 – maybe since the early 1980s. This might not even be cyclical. I see I’m gonna have to get me a free VCR. It just happens all of sudden, due to an unfortunate confluence of circumstances. Like, it was the hottest day of the year, and 5-0′s been tripping, and someone scuffed someone else’s Nikes. Next thing you know, kaboom!

We don’t know for a fact that this summer is gonna be any hotter than last summer. It could be remarkably mild. Let’s hope so. Ever since I hit my mid 20s, it’s like my balls can’t stop sweating. I might have to start coating my chode region in Johnson’s Baby Powder, as if I was, well, a baby.

Also, I’m never really sure the extent to which the financial crisis is affecting me personally. I see on TV where all of these guys who work for AIG are getting paid million dollar bonuses, from tax payer money, despite the fact that they just drove the company into the ground, and all I can think is: well obviously they didn’t get any of that money from me. I wouldn’t mind having whatever I contributed to that back, but I doubt it would so much as cause one of these TIs to not be able to get cheese on his Whopper. Which isn’t Kosher anyway.

The Dow could drop all the way down to zero, and my net worth, such as it is, wouldn’t take much of a hit. The good thing about only having $600 to your name is that you don’t have to sweat whether or not you’ll be able to get it out of the bank. You don’t have to fill out any special forms or anything. All they do is ask you whether or not you care if it’s all in hundreds. I like to get mine in smaller denominations, just because it makes me feel like I’ve got more money.

I’ve actually been thinking about conducting my own personal run on the banks, just in case. I’m just afraid that if I had all of my money in cash, I might be tempted to spend it all at once. Then I’d finally have to move back in with my parents for the first time since the 1990s (contrary to popular belief). Ladies, don’t take this as a cue to come jiggle yours cans in my face. I’m too vulnerable for that right now. I might do something stupid.

But I digress.

Speaking of doing something stupid, I see some ninja out in Oakland managed to take out four cops the other day. Two thoughts 1) Maybe the police in Oakland do need to be retrained. Busting a cap in a kid who’s unarmed and restrained on the ground is one thing, but how in the fuck is one guy gonna take out four cops? Was he literally a ninja? 2) Could this be a sign that this really is gonna be one of those hot summers?

Oakland is already pissed off, because of Oscar Grant. They didn’t even wait for the cop who killed him to be acquitted before they started lighting shit on fire, flipping over police cars and what have you. And that was in January! I’m not sure if the winters in Oakland are as harsh as they are here in the Midwest, but I’m sure it’ll be a lot “nicer” out by the time a verdict is reached in that trial.

As a matter of fact, the trial just started the other day, right as those four cops were being done away with. I’m sure there’s gonna be even more interest in the verdict, in the wake of the violence this weekend. Regardless of what happens, I can’t imagine this will end well. If the guy gets off, of course people are gonna be pissed. But if the guy does end up going to jail (where someone will probably rape him), the cops are probably gonna be pissed, too, especially now that they’re down four. They’re gonna be that much more apt to reach for the trigger, lest they accidentally grab a taser.

  • Phil

    I do get a feeling the summer is going to be…eventful. Just not sure in what way.

    • bez

      Those cracker racist cops bit the dust….rest in piss cocksuckers….too bad the oakland pd will be headhunting niggas even more after this and the racist targeting will continue

  • Pierzy

    On the real, if I saw a real ninja on Broad Street here in Philly, I don’t know what I’d do…

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      *imagining an actual ninja doing that “Ninja Gaiden” tip-toe dash through the streets unsheathing his blade*

      Lmao @ Pierzy…….

    • chitchat

      We had a ninja cat burglar on Staten Island. But I think someone just wound up beating his ass.

      As far as the VCRs…I sincerely hope no one would play themselves and go to jail for dead technology. I wouldn’t put it past some of those WSHH commenters though.

      • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

        Lol @ us talikng about real ninjas.

        A couple summers ago, I had a dude on my block who “accidentally” got hook’d on crack. One day, all the homies in the neghborhood was on my porch getting faded, this nigga comes walking up the street, eyes popping out of his skull, barefoot, in a guy (or gee, idk, spellcheck) holding a samurai sword saying he was a ninja. All them fools were scared shitless, but it was MY house, so I HAD to be brave. I told him how tight I thought it was & got him to hand it to me. I lock’d that shit in my house & gave it back the next day. Ha!

        Alcoholic logic>crackhead sense all day!

        • Pierzy

          Wasn’t Shredder a ninja? Imagine if you saw a dude in that getup running around the ‘hood!

    • Moi

      you’d never see a ninja . . .

  • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

    That was a good ass post, Bol.

    It’s funny, you hear cats bragging about how the economy crisis isn’t affecting their scratch, yada, yada, but rarely do you hear a cat say honestly, “I don’t have enough money for it to bother me.” Which, I think is the case on a general level. Unless were talking about tax increases & layoffs/pensions.

    If someone is living hand to mouth (no homo) to begin with, their economy was in the shit can already. Fuck AIG & some corporation that I have no vested interest in. I didn’t give a shit about the stock market until it was the first 10 minutes of every morning newscast. I still don’t. I can’t do shit about it anyway.

    As far as Oakland, I’m in L.A., & the OPD has been foul for quite some time. That kind of clash between civilians & cops is nothing new. This last situation with the 4 cops dying is going to be the straw on that camels back though, because those cops don’t hesitate to retaliate. If the BART cop gets locked up, it is going to be a hot ass summer in the bay. If he goes free, were talking hellfire. That’s real.

    • Pierzy

      What up Tony!!

      • http://tonygrands.blackberry.net Tony Grand$

        P, my dude!

        What’s good?!

  • og bobby j

    probably will be a hot summer (no Camron). Recession equals desperate times…which call for desperate measures.

    This shit will probably continue as long as your boy obama keeps trying to pass economic bills with make believe gajillion style price tags….and in the case of AIG, putting absolutely no spending restrictions on how the money is used….

    shit is a joke…

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Shit…I wish a nigga would!

    Back during the LA riots in ’92, I was afraid something similar might pop off in the halls of my elementary school, so I assembled all my niggaz together and told them to keep their heads cool. I told them that shit happening on the West Coast was some Fuckboy shit and should stay over there. In fact we formed a small (in stature) security detail and with the principal’s permission, we patrolled the halls in order to keep the peace. All was well that week except for a few of my little niggaz abusing their power–accepting bribes for hall passes and using their access keys to gain entry to the girl’s locker room. We did our thing and kept the peace, mang, and in reward for our efforts, we were only given these gay ass little ribbons…that’s when we got PISSED. A week later, we caught up to our Principal at an intersection and we straight dragged him out of his truck and beat the shit out that fool right there and left him for dead…

    He survived of course, what with a couple of scratches and bruises, but he put in his resignation that following week. Gots to respect the authority, nahmean?!

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • ko

      Dude shut the fuck up with that nonsense you pussy ass bitch….you don’t know shit about shit you scary ass wigger and you probably smell like a wet dog just like most white people old mr rogers ass nigga

      • Capital G

        Holy shit! Is that the general concensus? Do most white people smell like wet dogs? I can’t stop laughing at that description.

      • OG Matt Herbz

        @ ko

        Mr. Rogers? Oh, I see…your broke ass could only afford BASIC cable…my bad. Back in ’92, your dad was probably nuts deep in another nigga’s ass–you didn’t “cum” along until that special conjugal visit back in ’96 or some shit. Fuck outta here.

        Wet dog? Naw, nigga…depending on the hour, I could smell like a number of things: About 9am I’m smelling like homemade biscuits, sausage, and buddha smoke. After I shower, it’s a mix of Old Spice deodorant and Polo Black and a never-been-worn-before pair of Air Max’s. An hour later I might smell like the leather seats and a pine tree air freshener out of an ’09 Escalade…

        …but check this: 6 days out of the week, for at least an hour each day, my ring and index finger are guaranteed to smell like your mom’s pussy and the pinky finger will smell like shit–you think about why, nigga.

        And you’ll stop smelling like my nutz once you jump off ‘em, ho. Get on my level.

        –OG Matt Herbz–

        Tell ‘em why you mad, son!

        • og bobby j

          ethered

  • Master Cheef

    It is already hot as a motherfucker down here in the south, my niggas. I feel you on that sweating off your balls shit.

    My balls was sweating like a mofo the other day and coincindentally my girl is all talking bout she wants to do the stanky leg.

    I fucked her in the ass, pulled out my huge cock with fecal matter and ball sweat all over it, and slapped her in the face wit it. To which I replied, “How you like that stanky leg?”

    • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

      Wow.

      Hahahahaha!

      A) Nigga, you’re nasty; fecal matter to the grill piece.

      B) You forgot to throw a couple miscellaneous “no homo”‘s in there for good measure……

      • Master Cheef

        She is chinese if that makes the story any funnier. I know Bol mentioned on his website the other day that having a chinese gf was funny or some shit.

        Sometimes, I feel the no homo should be understood and reserved for making sure one catches the double entendre.

        • http://tonygrands.blogspot.com Tony Grand$

          “I feel you on that sweating off your balls shit”…..

          Can your boy get a little credit?

        • Master Cheef

          sho nuff

    • http://www.myspace.com/emcdlthemusicprofile EmCDL

      LMAO that shit was funny as hell!

  • dameSTATUS

    Ironic: The killer was just linked to series of rapes of prostitutes (right up bol’s alley) and prostitute-looking women. Unfortunately, his dna matched the rape kit just one on a TWELVE YEAR OLD. He was killed by the cops though (some are calling it “suicide by cop” considering his brewing rape problems), so he won’t be getting raped in Folsom, or elsewhere. Peep sfgate.com

    As many on the interwebs know, I’m actually from “The Town” (Oakland), and I’m scared about this summer too.

    No matter the results in court, cops are going to have “hella” itchy trigger fingers, and youths are going to be very police averse (felon or not).

    I know there is a lot of mourning going on for both the guy and the cops. YTs are pissed that people dare memorialize this “animal”.

    Bol, I feel like I singlehandely popularized Ninja as a replacement for the N word. I need some royalties on that; maybe 0.0005% of that 600 dollars you’re holding. Whoever came up with “nicca” with two c’s needs a check too.

    Props to whoever said “Ninja Gaiden”. Wasn’t that on the original Sega system, and it scrolled up and down in a weird azz way? That’s some history for you younger ninjas!!

  • http://xxl All Dae

    It’s funny, you hear cats bragging about how the economy crisis isn’t affecting their scratch, yada, yada, but rarely do you hear a cat say honestly, “I don’t have enough money for it to bother me.”

    That’s my situation and no complaints here.

    I don’t know it the Oakland police force is undertrained so much as their scarred to react when it goes down. Cause four on one means they froze up and never seen an man killed in cold blood. Unfortunate but that’s why the cops be pussy and shoot people and beat people who are cuffed than say one on one. Or a good old fashion shoot out.

    Is OG Matt Herbz G Unot Killa?….the rabbit hole deepens.

  • $ykotic

    I was thinking Shinobi ya’ll.

    But hell them AIG cats are g’z. While dude getting pulled over and capping and getting capped over a violation? Other dude getting capped on the ground…

    These AIG dudes still caking daily and getting fronted the work. FROM US.

    I wanna pick their brain…

    • http://tonygrands.blackberry.com Tony Grand$

      I want to pick their pockets.

  • DA TRUTH

    “Ever since I hit my mid 20s, it’s like my balls can’t stop sweating. I might have to start coating my chode region in Johnson’s Baby Powder, as if I was, well, a baby.”

    If youre are over 220lbs & drink a lot baby powder on the nuts and inter thighs are a must…

    I’m ready for this summer. I think its only going to get worse. Now you got this idiot Bobby Jindal running stuff.(his name not even legally bobby”. I wouldnt be suprised if they brought slavery back and explain to us how free labor will rebuild this country. (wait thats what really happened.

  • Michelle S.

    I heard there was a riot in ATL. I don’t know how true that is though.

  • sealsaa

    Yeah, I was thinking about that (4 cops that got killed). Feels like ’92 all over again. Imagine if the Lakers win the NBA title around the same time this verdict drops. Its gonna be some shit in California this summer. Not to mention that you’ve got the Tijuana Cartels across the border acting like the fucking Mexican Taliban (cutting people’s heads off, killing cops, fighting the Mexican military). Fuck Afganistan, Obama might want to deploy the Marines to California.

  • dameSTATUS

    oh, and oscar grant was murdered by BART, or subway/transit police. different from opd… (live bloggin from that blue flame!)

    • DV8

      was it me or did the Oscar Grant/ B.A.R.T riots look like a East Oakland sideshow ? If the cops cant handle a sideshow they really aint ready for a riot. Plus niggas in The Bay be on deck for real, for real. It would be ugly.

  • roof

    if it was camron who told you its going to be a hot summer, it’d be pretty safe to say you shouldnt be too concerned, in fact, buy a coat.

  • Justice4All

    It’s never good to shoot cops….but we all have to go one day and it’s in their job description-” You may get murked by a ninja one day”. Cops understand this, that’s why they kill innocent people until they catch one in the throat. Pre-retrobution I guess.

  • Justice4all

    This is why cops get murked…

    DALLAS — Racing to see his dying mother-in-law at a Plano hospital, an NFL player found himself delayed by a Dallas officer as her life ebbed away. It’s a story that has sparked outrage across North Texas and generated interest around the country.

    Dallas police Chief David Kunkle faced reporters Thursday afternoon to express his embarrassment over the incident and to publicly apologize to the family. He said the officer involved failed to use common sense.

    With his wife and another woman in the car, Ryan Moats — a running back for the Houston Texans — sped his car toward Baylor Regional Medical Center of Plano in the early morning hours of March 17. But when the Moats arrived at emergency room parking lot, they were stopped by Officer Robert Powell, who drew his service revolver on the concerned family members.

    Dashcam video from the Dallas officer’s patrol car captured the incident.

    “Get in there,” Officer Powell yelled out to Tamishia Moats, Ryan’s wife, as she exited the car. “Let me see your hands. Get in there. Put your hands on the car.”

    “Excuse me; my mom is dying,” Tamisha Moats replied.

    She and the other woman ignored Officer Powell’s commands and rushed inside the hospital to her dying mother as Ryan Moats and Officer Powell went back-and-forth over insurance paperwork the NFL player was unable to locate.

    MOATS: “I’ve got seconds before she’s gone, man.”

    POWELL: “Listen: If I can’t verify you have insurance…”

    MOATS: “My mother-in-law is dying!”

    POWELL: “Listen to me.”

    MOATS: “Right now, you’re wasting my time.”

    POWELL: “If you can’t verify you have insurance, I’m going to tow your car. So, you either find it or I am going to tow the car.”

    As they argued, the officer got irritated.

    POWELL: “Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. You can either settle down and cooperate, or I can just take you to jail for running a red light.”

    Dallas PD
    The tape shows a nurse coming out of the hospital, pleading with Officer Powell to let Moats join his wife and her dying mother inside.. “I certainly hope anybody who saw the videotape immediately understood how serious the misconduct is,” Chief Kunkle said Thursday afternoon. “I don’t know how you train for these circumstances other than to hire people with good common sense and people skills.”

    In a telephone interview, Moats said the clash with the officer was totally unexpected. “For him to not even be sympathetic at all, and basically we’re dogs or something and we don’t matter — it basically shocked me,” he said.

    No compassion was indicated in the police recording of the incident. “I can screw you over,” Officer Powell said. “I would rather not do that. You obviously will dictate everything that happens; and right now, your attitude sucks.”

    “My understanding is that Officer Powell — even after he saw the videotape — believed he had not acted inappropriately,” Chief Kunkle said, a view that was underlined by Assistant Chief Floyd Simpson, who reviewed the tape with Officer Powell on Wednesday.

    “His belief was simply that he was doing his job,” Chief Simpson said. “It did concern me that it just seemed that the compassion was not there.”

    The hospital twice sent nurses to try and get the officer to release Moats.

    “We’re blue-coding her for the third time,” a nurse said on the police videotape.

    A Plano police officer stopped to make a plea for the officer to let Moats go. “Hey, that’s the nurse,” the Plano officer said. “She says the mom is dying right now, and she wants to know if I can get him up there.”

    Finally, after a 20-minute delay, the officer ticketed Moats for running a red light.

    By the time Moats made it up to the emergency room, his mother-in-law was dead.

    “I went up after she passed and held her hand, but she was already gone,” Moats said in a telephone interview.

    Dallas police have launched a review of the incident.

    “When it came to our attention, we immediately called for an internal investigation to be done,” said police spokesman Lt. Andy Havey.

    WFAA.com has received more than 400 comments about the incident since the story first aired on Channel 8 Wednesday night.

  • Justice4all

    This is why cops get murked…..

    DALLAS — Racing to see his dying mother-in-law at a Plano hospital, an NFL player found himself delayed by a Dallas officer as her life ebbed away. It’s a story that has sparked outrage across North Texas and generated interest around the country.

    Dallas police Chief David Kunkle faced reporters Thursday afternoon to express his embarrassment over the incident and to publicly apologize to the family. He said the officer involved failed to use common sense.

    With his wife and another woman in the car, Ryan Moats — a running back for the Houston Texans — sped his car toward Baylor Regional Medical Center of Plano in the early morning hours of March 17. But when the Moats arrived at emergency room parking lot, they were stopped by Officer Robert Powell, who drew his service revolver on the concerned family members.

    Dashcam video from the Dallas officer’s patrol car captured the incident.

    “Get in there,” Officer Powell yelled out to Tamishia Moats, Ryan’s wife, as she exited the car. “Let me see your hands. Get in there. Put your hands on the car.”

    “Excuse me; my mom is dying,” Tamisha Moats replied.

    She and the other woman ignored Officer Powell’s commands and rushed inside the hospital to her dying mother as Ryan Moats and Officer Powell went back-and-forth over insurance paperwork the NFL player was unable to locate.

    MOATS: “I’ve got seconds before she’s gone, man.”

    POWELL: “Listen: If I can’t verify you have insurance…”

    MOATS: “My mother-in-law is dying!”

    POWELL: “Listen to me.”

    MOATS: “Right now, you’re wasting my time.”

    POWELL: “If you can’t verify you have insurance, I’m going to tow your car. So, you either find it or I am going to tow the car.”

    As they argued, the officer got irritated.

    POWELL: “Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. You can either settle down and cooperate, or I can just take you to jail for running a red light.”

    Dallas PD
    The tape shows a nurse coming out of the hospital, pleading with Officer Powell to let Moats join his wife and her dying mother inside.. “I certainly hope anybody who saw the videotape immediately understood how serious the misconduct is,” Chief Kunkle said Thursday afternoon. “I don’t know how you train for these circumstances other than to hire people with good common sense and people skills.”

    In a telephone interview, Moats said the clash with the officer was totally unexpected. “For him to not even be sympathetic at all, and basically we’re dogs or something and we don’t matter — it basically shocked me,” he said.

    No compassion was indicated in the police recording of the incident. “I can screw you over,” Officer Powell said. “I would rather not do that. You obviously will dictate everything that happens; and right now, your attitude sucks.”

    “My understanding is that Officer Powell — even after he saw the videotape — believed he had not acted inappropriately,” Chief Kunkle said, a view that was underlined by Assistant Chief Floyd Simpson, who reviewed the tape with Officer Powell on Wednesday.

    “His belief was simply that he was doing his job,” Chief Simpson said. “It did concern me that it just seemed that the compassion was not there.”

    The hospital twice sent nurses to try and get the officer to release Moats.

    “We’re blue-coding her for the third time,” a nurse said on the police videotape.

    A Plano police officer stopped to make a plea for the officer to let Moats go. “Hey, that’s the nurse,” the Plano officer said. “She says the mom is dying right now, and she wants to know if I can get him up there.”

    Finally, after a 20-minute delay, the officer ticketed Moats for running a red light.

    By the time Moats made it up to the emergency room, his mother-in-law was dead.

    “I went up after she passed and held her hand, but she was already gone,” Moats said in a telephone interview.

    Dallas police have launched a review of the incident.

    “When it came to our attention, we immediately called for an internal investigation to be done,” said police spokesman Lt. Andy Havey.

    WFAA.com has received more than 400 comments about the incident since the story first aired on Channel 8 Wednesday night.

  • Justice4all

    This is why cops get murked…..

    DALLAS — Racing to see his dying mother-in-law at a Plano hospital, an NFL player found himself delayed by a Dallas officer as her life ebbed away. It’s a story that has sparked outrage across North Texas and generated interest around the country.

    Dallas police Chief David Kunkle faced reporters Thursday afternoon to express his embarrassment over the incident and to publicly apologize to the family. He said the officer involved failed to use common sense…

    With his wife and another woman in the car, Ryan Moats — a running back for the Houston Texans — sped his car toward Baylor Regional Medical Center of Plano in the early morning hours of March 17. But when the Moats arrived at emergency room parking lot, they were stopped by Officer Robert Powell, who drew his service revolver on the concerned family members.

    Dashcam video from the Dallas officer’s patrol car captured the incident.

    “Get in there,” Officer Powell yelled out to Tamishia Moats, Ryan’s wife, as she exited the car. “Let me see your hands. Get in there. Put your hands on the car.”

    “Excuse me; my mom is dying,” Tamisha Moats replied.

    She and the other woman ignored Officer Powell’s commands and rushed inside the hospital to her dying mother as Ryan Moats and Officer Powell went back-and-forth over insurance paperwork the NFL player was unable to locate.

    MOATS: “I’ve got seconds before she’s gone, man.”

    POWELL: “Listen: If I can’t verify you have insurance…”

    MOATS: “My mother-in-law is dying!”

    POWELL: “Listen to me.”

    MOATS: “Right now, you’re wasting my time.”

    POWELL: “If you can’t verify you have insurance, I’m going to tow your car. So, you either find it or I am going to tow the car.”

    As they argued, the officer got irritated.

    POWELL: “Shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. You can either settle down and cooperate, or I can just take you to jail for running a red light.”

    Dallas PD
    The tape shows a nurse coming out of the hospital, pleading with Officer Powell to let Moats join his wife and her dying mother inside.. “I certainly hope anybody who saw the videotape immediately understood how serious the misconduct is,” Chief Kunkle said Thursday afternoon. “I don’t know how you train for these circumstances other than to hire people with good common sense and people skills.”

    In a telephone interview, Moats said the clash with the officer was totally unexpected. “For him to not even be sympathetic at all, and basically we’re dogs or something and we don’t matter — it basically shocked me,” he said.

    No compassion was indicated in the police recording of the incident. “I can screw you over,” Officer Powell said. “I would rather not do that. You obviously will dictate everything that happens; and right now, your attitude sucks.”

    “My understanding is that Officer Powell — even after he saw the videotape — believed he had not acted inappropriately,” Chief Kunkle said, a view that was underlined by Assistant Chief Floyd Simpson, who reviewed the tape with Officer Powell on Wednesday.

    “His belief was simply that he was doing his job,” Chief Simpson said. “It did concern me that it just seemed that the compassion was not there.”

    The hospital twice sent nurses to try and get the officer to release Moats.

    “We’re blue-coding her for the third time,” a nurse said on the police videotape.

    A Plano police officer stopped to make a plea for the officer to let Moats go. “Hey, that’s the nurse,” the Plano officer said. “She says the mom is dying right now, and she wants to know if I can get him up there.”

    Finally, after a 20-minute delay, the officer ticketed Moats for running a red light.

    By the time Moats made it up to the emergency room, his mother-in-law was dead.

    “I went up after she passed and held her hand, but she was already gone,” Moats said in a telephone interview.

    Dallas police have launched a review of the incident.

    “When it came to our attention, we immediately called for an internal investigation to be done,” said police spokesman Lt. Andy Havey.

    WFAA.com has received more than 400 comments about the incident since the story first aired on Channel 8 Wednesday night.