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2009 DDN Tournament – Round 2, Midwest Region Voting + Round 1 Results

Welcome back to ESDN First Hate! The readers have spoken! Here’s the field of 32!

Here are the exact percentages from each matchup:

#1 Rick Ross (93.9%) def. #16 Xzibit – (6.1%)
#8 Suge Knight (78.8%) def. #9 Joaquin Phoenix (21.2%)
#4 Tyga (60.5%) def. #13 Stallionaires (39.5%)
#12 Scott Storch (68.5%) def. #5 Whitney Houston (31.8%)
#3 Coolio (87.9%) def. #14 Danity Kane (12.1%)
#6 Frankie F. Baby (51.9%) def. #11 Rihanna (48.1%)
#7 Bobby Brown (50.3%) def. #10 Terrence Howard (49.7%)
#2 Pacman Jones (83.7%) def. #15 Day 26 (16.3%)

#1 Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em (88.7%) def. #16 Terrell Owens (11.3%)
#9 AIG (67.5%) def. #8 T-Pain (32.5%)
#4 George W. Bush (65.0%) def. #13 Gunplay (35.0%)
#12 Jermaine Dupri (51.2%) def. #5 Usher (48.8%)
#3 Webbie (51.9%) def. #14 Bobby Jindal (48.1%)
#6 Parlae (61.1%) def. #11 DJ Khaled (38.9%)
#7 O.J. Da Juiceman (52.5%) def. #10 Young Buck (47.5%)
#2 Gucci Mane (79.6%) def. #15 Mya (20.4%)

#1 Jim Jones (78.6%) def. #16 Stephon Marbury (21.4%)
#8 WSHH Comments (71.8%) def. #9 WSHH Content (28.2%)
#13 Juelz Santana (50.9%) def. #4 Bernie Madoff (49.1%)
#5 Lil’ Kim (67.9) def. #12 K-Ci & Jojo (32.1%)
#3 DMX (84.3%) def. #14 Joe Budden (15.7%)
#6 Max B (52.8%) def. #11 Ron Browz (47.2%)
#10 Daddy Yankee (73.6%) def. #7 N.O.R.E. (26.4%)
#2 Chris Brown (73.0%) def. #15 Prodigy (27.0%)

#1 Yung Berg (70.1%) def. #16 Boo Boo TV Dude (29.9%)
#8 Katt Williams (70.5%) def. #9 Steve Harvey (29.5%)
#4 Alex Rodriguez (54.8%) def. #13 Major Labels (45.2%)
#5 Octomom (77.8%) def. #12 Kid Cudi (22.2%)
#3 Sarah Palin (73.1%) def. #14 Charles Barkley (26.9%)
#6 Kwame Kilpatrick (61.8%) def. #11 Jim Cramer (38.2%)
#7 Superhead (62.5%) def. #10 Jesse Jackson (37.5%)
#2 Plaxico Burress (76.7%) def. #15 VLAD TV Content (23.3%)

Did your favorite DDNs advance? Is your bracket as fucked up as my Final Four? Let’s proceed to the round of 32 in the amazingly upset-free Midwest.

#1 Yung Berg vs. #8 Katt Williams

Pimpin Can I? Girl, pardon my manners. Who’s the greater evil–he who uses the paper bag to narrow his dating field or he who conceals his grandma-nana medications with it? While I’ve only got one Final Four team left in my NCAA bracket, I don’t expect to lose “The Artist” so soon in the DDN. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#4 Alex Rodriguez vs. #5 Octomom

Octomom would love nothing more than to be Angelina Jolie. A-Rod would love nothing more than to be… the best A-Rod he can be. Octo’s trying to have her own multicultural tribe au naturale. Eat that, Brangelina! Actually, they have. Angelina’s throwing down paper on the new Tribe of Judah. Maybe Octopussy ain’t that stupid after all? Can A-Rod’s selfish antics and performance-enhancing ignorance knock off formerly broke-ass mother of fitty-leven? [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#3 Sarah Palin vs. #6 Kwame Kilpatrick

Politics as usual? Can Sarah Palin prove beyond Reasonable Doubt that her series of flubs and broken home can make it colder than ever in the D? I’m thinking, “ch-ch-cheeea!” Kwame’s pretty damn ignorant, but he almost pulled off his public in-office thuggery without reprecussion. Sarah Palin wasn’t even close to helping McCain win an election he really should have won. I mean, they lost to a “redistributor!” PWNED! [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

#2 Plaxico Burress vs. #7 Karrine “Superhead” Steffans

This may not be the first time Superhead and Cheddar Plax have met. Wondercheeks may have shown enough regression to make the tournament and steal on Rev. Jesse, but I don’t think she can pull a rabbit out of her vagina big enough to stop a bullet–I mean, Plaxico. She might have a bulletproof tongue though. I’ll have to ask Bow Wow. [VOTE @ WWW.RONMEXICOCITY.COM]

Questions? Comments? Requests? I know y’all heard about this nigga T-Pain and his straight outta Happy Gilmore incident.

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