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Bottom 5 Dead Or Alive…

Who’s the best MC, Biggie, Jay-Z, or Nas.

Or Tupac, or Eminem…For some it’s Rakim, others will mention Common and Redman in the Top 20.
The debate never gets old. Meanwhile, we have failed to crown the W.O.A.T (Wack MC of All Time). Who’s bottom 5 dead or alive?

There’s bad and then there’s horrible. Superior wackness. Guys like Black Thought and Hov in his prime make it sound so effortless to rhyme. That’s probably why everybody and their mommas started rapping. It looked easy. Wack MCs make it sound hard. Like, it’s tough for them to put two lines together. I initially thought of submitting Jim Jones’ name to the Bottom 5 Dead Or Alive ballot, but he’s gotten way better. He still makes rapping sound like a chore every now and then, but he also has some good moments. He’s what I like to call wacknificient. A bad rapper with a good amount of decent stuff.

I don’t even think Soulja Boy is the wackest. The kid said, “You are now a prisoner from my 8 bars” on the “Get Silly” RMX and then said, “Do you wanna fuck me?/the question is rhetorical” on “Marco Polo.” I’m not saying those lines are groundbreaking or anything, but it showed me that the kid could possibly do a little something if he applied himself, which is more that I can say for some of these other rappers. But if Andy Samberg from Saturday Night Live, who is not a rapper, flows better than you, chances are you’re pretty weak. Actually, Samberg should be our barometer. At least he was funny on that “Lazy Sunday” skit.

After racking my brain trying to figure out potential W.O.A.Ts, I could only come up with three rappers I think may be close to undisputed contenders for the crown.

Silkk The Shocker: The homie Kim Osorio actually tried to argue that Master P was a worse rapper than Silk. P’s no Rakim, but he’s nowhere near as bad as his little brother. What makes Silk the potential W.O.A.T is his incapability to stay on beat. PS: Being off beat is not a style, it’s a bad look, pun intended.

Bizzare: Similar to Silk, Bizarre isn’t too good at staying on beat. To his defense, he actually says funny stuff.

Crunchy Black: This dude has to be related to either Paul or Juicy J. There’s no way they heard him spit and thought to themselves, “Damn! He’s nice.” Crunchy can stay on beat, but he sounds pretty primitive doing it.

Alright, I got three candidates. So you guys go ahead and pick the remaining two. Should anyone replaced the rappers I just named? Let me know.

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