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Yung Berg didn’t know you couldn’t do that

How come nobody told the Yung Berg arrest footage that hit the Internets yesterday is the funniest shit evar?

I didn’t even bother watching it when I saw it yesterday over on World Star and some other sites. But I figured there might be something to it when I saw that the news department here at XXL posted a follow up, in which Berg’s manager confirmed that it took place a long time ago, the video is just now hitting the Internets. (I’m glad they got that cleared up.)

I probably wouldn’t even have bothered, except that I wanted to hurry up and find something to blog about before I had to go to work, so I can make enough money that I can… erm, continue to blog. I know… What a waste? Anyhoo, I saw Yung Berg was involved, and I figured I could probably work a story out of it. The guy’s just so ridiculous. I probably wrote about him as much as I did anyone else last year, and I’ve hardly heard any of his music. He even figured into one of the two articles I’ll ever write for the print version of XXL.

The thing that really shines through in this hilarious arrest footage is just how deluded Yung Berg is. When he tells the cop that he shouldn’t be arrested, because he’s an artist signed to Universal Records, and that the drugs they found in the pocket of his cargo shorts (is that what’s hot in the streets?) shouldn’t count, because it’s just marijuana, it’s not like he’s trying to be funny. He’s genuinely that oblivious. It’s no wonder he walked into Trick Trick’s club with an $80,000 chain on.

I wonder why that might be. Could it be that he’s been so successful at scoring with girls that he thinks he’s above the law in every other facet of life? I’m sure we’re all familiar with the concept of white privilege, given the propensity for excuse-making in our community. But could there also be a such thing as what I’m gonna call Yung Berg privilege, i.e. the kind of privilege enjoyed by a five-foot tall, light skinted, fruity-looking kid like Yung Berg, at the expense of big, scary-looking ninjas such as myself?

When your hanglow tends to be stank-free more often than not, it’s hard to get confused as to your place in this world. But obviously that’s not gonna be an issue with Yung Berg, now is it? Even in this clip, he somehow manages to convince a girl to get on the bike with him, despite the fact that it’s obvious – as some guy can be heard saying off camera – that it’s only a matter of time before he wrecks the damn thing. I guess she figured the possibility of tasting his demon seed was worth the risk of bodily injury.

It’s hard to tell in this grainy video whether or not the girl who got on with him was a proverbial dark butt. My guess – based on the fact that a) this was Miami; b) her ass was nice and round, if not ridonkulously large; and c) it was dark out, and yet, she didn’t completely fade into the background – is that she might have been hispanic. It’s too bad he couldn’t keep his balance. It looked like he might have been taking her back to the mo’, to get his not rape on, which is why he took it out into the street, in front of the cops, rather than just on the sidewalk.

When the cops come over to investigate, they ask him for his ID and he’s like, “Um, I’m an artist, signed to Universal Records.” To his credit, he could have meant that there shouldn’t have been any question as to whether or not he was Yung Berg – singer of “Hey Sexy Lady,” that song with Ray J, and what have you. He wasn’t trying to pull a DMX, where they ask him what his name is, and he tells them the name of some guy from the projects. But then when they find some weed in his pocket, despite the fact that he told them he wasn’t holding, he’s like “Aw, that’s just marijuana…”

It’s a scene right out that Dave Chappelle comedy special where his white friend gets pulled over for speeding and explains to the cop that he didn’t realize he wasn’t allowed to do that… except that Yung Berg isn’t white. Light skinted, sure. Or could it be that light skinted people get away with way more shit than regular black people, and it’s just one of those things that’s been successfully covered up in the media until I mentioned it on this site, like the fact that it’s difficult bordering on impossible to spread AIDS from a woman to a man through regular (and as far as I’m concerned, the only kind of) intercourse?

I wouldn’t be surprised. You know how the media likes to cover things up.

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