Wookin pa nub in all the wrong places

Poor black women… It’s like they can’t win for losing!

The ones who don’t look like shit are destined to die poor and lonely, just like yours truly. And the ones who do have a little something to offer the world can hardly walk down the street without receiving catcalls.

I tell you, it just ain’t right!

(On a semi-related note, I’ve also read that black women are shrinking. According to this story from ABC News, young black women today are nearly an inch shorter than white women their age and about half an inch shorter than black women born in the late ’60s. Scientists aren’t sure why. Hopefully, black women don’t just start dying out, like the bees did.)

I was over at World Star the other day, checking to see if there were any new videos with my new favorite DJ evar, Kay Slay, and I stumbled upon a brief documentary film called Black Woman Walking. In it, a group of black women and one random stoner-looking white chick (so cute with her little Daria glasses… but I digress) complain about how they can’t walk down the street without being verbally, if not physically harassed by black men.

Elliott Wilson-style sidebar: People who’ve been following this space for more than a few weeks now will perhaps recall that I recently commented on a story I read in the New York Times about how white chicks were moving out of Harlem because they got tired of being hollered at by black guys. Actually, the story was about the demographic changes going on in that area in general, but I thought the part about the catcalling was especially interesting. If I were the editor at the Times, I would have insisted that the entire story be about white chicks who moved to Harlem for the cheap real estate and then left because they didn’t like hearing that they had a nice ass. (Pshaw!)

The white chicks quoted in the story were careful to note that they hadn’t had anything happen to them worse than just a little verbal harassment. And one broad even went so far as to admit that she would have stayed put, if it had been white guys in business suits trying to get their mack on. I guess at least she was honest. It’s too bad there wasn’t a slideshow or video to go along with the story, which I know they’ve been getting into over at the Times. If she was getting hollered at by a lot of black guys, something tells me she’s the kind of white chick a lot of white guys might not be interested in. Anyway, I just thought it was fascinating that a woman would go so far as to sell a house she got a good deal on and uproot her life just because the wrong guys were attracted to her. It just goes to show the profound commitment amongst many women to controlling other people’s behavior.

Speaking of a woman’s ego, the first sign that Black Woman Walking is mostly a crock of shit is the fact that none of the women in it are particularly attractive. If you’ve ever seen that great VH1 special on video hoes, you know they could have gotten Esther Baxter or Buffie the Body or somebody to talk about how they get hollered at when they walk down the street, which I’m sure they do, for hardly any money at all. A lot of these women who shake their asses in rap videos work for free, just for the exposure. And the ones that don’t work for professional blogger money.

The one main woman featured looks like Buh Weet. And I don’t mean that in the sense that I’ve found a woman that I don’t personally find attractive, and who probably has an awful personality, so I’m gonna say she looks like Buh Weet, as an insult. No, this woman really does look like Eddie Murphy’s classic Buh Weet character from Saturday Night Live, right down to the huge eyes and the crazy homeless person hair cut – like Cynthia McKinney that week she tried to beat up a Capital Police with her cell phone.

Ironically enough, this woman from the film claims that her hair is one of the main reasons guys try to holler at her while she’s walking down the street. Seriously? Perhaps this is another one of these cases where I’m a bit too disconnected from my own culture (never mind whether or not that was the culture I was born into) to know. Distinctly ethnic black guys in the comments section, and white guys who aspire to that classification, feel free to clue me in: Are black dudes really feeling the whole Cynthia McKinney look, or is this woman suffering from delusions of grandeur?

I mean, I’d be willing to put up with that kind of hair style, if the rest of her body was… you know, built like a brick shithouse. But of course the film doesn’t give you a very good look at these women’s bodies, as if the filmmakers were actually concerned with believability. I’m sure they were mostly only concerned with preaching to the choir: lonely, desperate black chicks; dirty college feminist broads, and what have you. Hence, the otherwise seemingly random inclusion of my new fantasy girlfriend, with the glasses. They didn’t count on a lot of guys seeing Black Woman Walking. And indeed, I wouldn’t have, if it hadn’t been posted on World Star.

Do I mean to suggest that there isn’t an epidemic of black men harassing women on the street, or that women are wrong to complain about it? No, I don’t. I don’t engage in that sort of thing myself, but I’m sure it happens. I’m not gonna lie. The idea of standing on a street corner all day, perhaps with a tall boy of MGD, making puerile comments about a woman’s figure seems way more fun than blogging. If only there was a way to “monetize” it. I might have to think about making a career move. I’m just saying. Something tells me the problem isn’t nearly as bad as it’s made out to be in this film.

Let’s keep it real. A woman fine enough that she can’t walk down the street without constantly being propositioned can probably afford to get a cab anyway. The right man probably hollered at her a long time ago.

  • paychexx

    nice!!!!

  • http://www.uptownempire.com Trouble

    Great Post Bol.

    Im a 24 yr old white male, I kinda dig that hair style but, like u said she gotta have something else to go along with it. Chicks in the south rock out like that sometimes, but its usual a good look for them. Most girls I know that rock that style are fashion type bitches that were that designer shit, they think they makin a statement.

  • a_loco

    I wonder if dudes were hollering at her hair because they thought it was fuckin ugly, but she’s too stupid to realize. In fact, that’s probably what the case is. Same with the rest of her friends, with the exception of your new fantasy girlfriend (maybe)?

  • giantstepp

    “I’m not gonna lie. The idea of standing on a street corner all day, perhaps with a tall boy of MGD, making puerile comments about a woman’s figure seems way more fun than blogging. If only there was a way to “monetize” it. I might have to think about making a career move.”

    Yousa damn fool Bol! LMAO

  • geico lizard

    If you read the comments section of worldstarhiphop you will see how most men feel about the women in that video. They werent attractive to me and with their personalities they were even less attractive. C-mac on her worst day would look as good as these busted looking broads.

    Its obvious the video was intended to be seen by bitter single black women who think chemicals in their hair and shaving their legs is selling out. They want a man to treat them like a nubian queen but all they do is look for any excuse to talk shit about black men.

  • geico lizard

    “I’m not gonna lie. The idea of standing on a street corner all day, perhaps with a tall boy of MGD, making puerile comments about a woman’s figure seems way more fun than blogging. If only there was a way to “monetize” it. I might have to think about making a career move.” You could become a dvd bootlegger and that way you stand on the corner make money and try to holla at the women who stop to buy your high quality copies of benjamin button and yes man. You could upgrade that mgd to pabst blue ribbon in a week.

  • Matt Herbz

    Shit, try to walk your woman through ANY joint on Buford Hwy and both y’all gonna be eye-raped by some dirty ass Latino Niggaz. Now, I love my Latino Niggaz, but enough is enough! Why dudes all stand together in the the store just staring and watching? Not all of ‘em are like that, mind you, but dudes that came over and left their wifey and 6 kids in Honduras will straight up burn through you with their dirty looks.

    Good thing I’m fluent with my Spanish on some “Coño papi, por que carajo estás mirandome chico? están jodidos los ojos, cabrón? Ve al piso cuando paso por aquí, putito. Ya tu sabes…aquí no se juega, te mataria sin pensarlo dos veces. Simón…”

    They usually back the fuck up and look at the floor after that shit. Word up.

    –Matt Herbz–

    • Penelope Rodriguez

      Alright!!!!

    • BORN IN THE NORTH, RAISED IN THE SOUTH

      Yeah, but Buford Highway is the only place in Atlanta that has some fine Latina broads…. *LOL*

  • Crimson

    I used to live in Brooklyn and my (white) girlfriend would get harassed constantly–sometimes upwards of 5 or 6 times on one trip outside the house. It was definitely a factor in deciding to leave the area. And it’s not like you think–she would get harassed MORE if she left the house looking like a slob, in sweats with her hair up. When she was dressed up, walking with confidence, they were much less inclined to say shit. Guys are just pussies looking for easy prey.

  • amar

    in terms of that woman with the ugly hairstyle, i think black males and males in general in america are looking more towards the body and less towards the face, thus allowing butterfaces to thrive. I attribute this to two things:

    1. Hip Hop’s use of video hoes with curvy-boddied butterfaces. Because hip hop is pop culture now, people follow the trends set by hip hop artists, including the idea that a bootilicious body is important and a face, not as much.
    2. America’s obesity rate. Aren’t like 1 outta every 5 black women NOT overweight? Of course, I don’t trust these mainstream statistics, but I’m sure the number’s quite high for obesity rates in the black community

  • tensensi

    i was sodomizing a 19 year-old in a san francisco hotel after the mars volta concert this time lat year.

    this year – i’m arguing with the wifey about how i’m supposed to censor my views on government with the future kiddies.

    don’t get married.

  • http://shazisrad.blogspot.com superxshaz

    Some random person on the bus I was on saw it and compared it to the video where black girls are speaking about identity issues, I really can’t remember the name of it.

    & I DEFINITELY HAD A WTF MOMENT.

    Anyway, maybe it’s just me but the guys who excessively ‘holla for a dolla’ at these girls are a bunch of no lives who find that somewhat euphoric for their lackluster day of standing on the corner. It’s like a double edge sword in some aspects; because if a girl walks by a group of them and she walks away it’s likely she’s called every name in the book. Yet if something possesses her to respond the guy is an IGNORANT ASSHOLE.

    Meh.

  • GorillaJoe

    Great topic right here, Bol.

    The level of disrespect black women face nowadays is unbelievable. Like homie a few comments up mentioned, a woman who opts to walk past a group of corner hangers runs the risk of getting hit with every obscenity in the book. These dudes don’t seem to consider that these women are the sisters, mothers, aunts, wives, and girlfriends of others. There’s also no consideration given to the fact that yelling out obscenities b/c you got turned down makes you look like an absolute lame who probably doesn’t land much trim in the pad anyway.