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Stop that bullshit, Barack

Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit.” — DMX, in an interview with XXL

The news yesterday that DMX had somehow managed to escape from jail, or the hospital (I know he’d been recovering from a stroke), or wherever he’d been, and was on the run from Johnny Law (which is no trip to Cleveland), just so happened to coincide with my viewing of a video about how we could probably fix the economy by letting non-violent drug offenders out of prison.

In the video, there’s a clip of Barack Obama talking about how it’s such a waste that we spend so much money fucking with people just for getting high (er, just for getting high on the wrong drugs), and also an excerpt from his autobiography, where he talks about how smoking weed, drinking beer, and sniffing a little yay when he could afford it helped him get over the pain of his pops not seeing him. (Someone alert Jay-Z.)

I wonder if this means President Obama is gonna let all of the potheads out of the joint. I know there was that big story in the Times yesterday about how the intellectualy dishonest wing of the liberal punditocracy, i.e. the Nation magazine, liberal blogs like the Daily Kos, etc., has got its panties in a bunch over the fact that the President-elect’s appointments so far are hardly different from what the appointments might be in a Joementum administration. But nothing Obama said or did on the campaign trail suggested they wouldn’t be. That’s what those clowns get for voting for him.

Obviously, the video of Obama talking about how it’s deeply fucking immoral to throw so many people in jail just for getting high, which it is, took place before he was under the intense media scrutiny of the presidential election. But who knows? Maybe he’ll actually govern according to his values on this issue. (I’m sure DMX, who stays getting locked up for trying to buy crack, hopes so.) I’m probably not as down on the President-elect as people think. It’s just that I saw him for what he is back before it was all trendy.

The only thing is, he might feel compelled to wait to take any action on this issue, or even address it, until it’s politically expedient, i.e. towards the end of his presidency, or maybe even after he’s already left office. I remember reading, when I was 18-ish, Bill Clinton in an interview with Rolling Stone right after he left office, talking about how the pot laws in this country are so draconian. As if he hadn’t just been in charge of this country for the past 8 years. Celebrity pothead Bill Maher has cited this interview on a number of occasions in his standup and on his HBO series Real Time.

If Obama does wait, it might be too late for DMX, who, let’s keep it real, might not have eight years left in him at this point. Maybe not even four. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud last night when I read that X had been found hiding out in Scott Storch’s mansion, and had been turned in by some stripper down in Atlanta – probably one of Storch’s babies’ mothers, pissed about back child support payments. But if you think about it, it’s too bad there isn’t anywhere DMX can go other than jail, as if that’s gonna fix what’s wrong with him.

Yeah, DMX stays getting caught doing shit that’s ostensibly illegal. But if you look at it, most of the crimes he’s committed stem from his drug problem, not because he’s out there trying to fuck anyone’s shit up. Driving like a maniac, trying to buy crack from an undercover cop, not feeding his dogs as often as he should… that’s all typical shit a crackhead does. Just think, if he could go to a state clinic and get nice, and while he was there, someone could could make sure he’s been taking care of his dogs, and that he doesn’t try to drive himself home. All of this bullshit could have been avoided.

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