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Return of the Mack

I thought the guy who does the captions over at the best hip-hop site evar (other than my own), World Star Hip Hop, was playing when he said that three NYPD officers had sodomized a guy with a baton (rectum? damn near killed ’em!), but fortunately, the Rev. Al Sharpton is on the case.

But then there he was, towards the end of the clip – a segment from the evening news out in NY – talking about how the city owes this transit cop who came forward to back up this guy’s claim that he’d been bufu’d with a night stick in the subway. It was almost as if Barack Obama had never been elected president.

Ever since this year’s historic presidential election, there’s been talk of what’s going to happen to ambulance chasing black activists like Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton now that we’ve got a black-ish president. Most of it has centered on Brother Jesse, since there were those famous shots of him crying (like a little bitch) during Obama’s acceptance speech. Meanwhile, Rev. Al aka Mr. Do probably wasn’t even allowed to attend.

You know good and well Mr. Do tried to get in that night. How in the fuck is a black guy gonna get elected president, and Al Sharpton isn’t even in the room to hear the acceptance speech? Someone from the Obama campaign probably had to call and explain to him that they decided that only one black poverty pimp would be allowed in attendance, and they picked Jesse over him, probably in part because he continues to refuse to apologize for the Tawana Brawley incident.

If he could have, Obama probably wouldn’t have let either of them in. But I imagine he was concerned with what the reaction would be from the black intellegentsia if there weren’t any black leaders there at all. He knew he was about to name Rahm Emannuel his chief of staff the next day, and he didn’t want black people any more upset with him than they absolutely had to be.

As it turns out, he probably didn’t have any reason to be concerned. Hardly any black people (none, if you don’t count me as a black person, and why should you?) seem to give a shit that, so far, he hasn’t done anything as president-elect that Hillary Clinton or Joementum or somebody wouldn’t have done, if they’d been elected. Don’t be surprised if he’s especially emboldened once he actually takes office. If you’re in Iran right now, you might want to grab your camel and break north.

I should point out, though, that the guy who supposedly had his life ruined on the subway isn’t a black guy, as far as I can tell. Like a lot of white people from New York, his speech is a bit blacker than, say, a black guy from here, but I don’t know if that means anything in particular. His name sounds like it might be Italian, so it could be that he comes from that part of Italy that’s actually kinda black – as discussed by Dennis Hopper in True Romance. To his credit, I’d say he looks blacker than Slug from Atmosphere.

Perhaps this is Al Sharpton’s plan to maintain his relevance in an Obama presidency – he’s gonna increase the whiteness of his caseload, so to speak. Maybe he’ll only chase ambulances with white people in them from here on out. If so, I’d actually have to applaud Mr. Do on coming up with such a brilliant idea, strategy-wise.

This way, he can still guilt trip corporations into making donations to his organization, i.e. himself. Which is obviously his main goal, at the end of the day. They might even donate more than they would otherwise. How can white people continue to hate Mr. Do, if he’s actually saving their kids from the NYPD? As I’ve discussed before on this site, those fuckers are out of control. There’s only so many black people they can lock up, and they’ve got a quota to meet. Fucking with the NYPD on behalf of white people could be the civil rights wave of the future.

Yeah, it’s too bad us blacks won’t be able to call on him when we need him, but something tells me we’ll manage to get by without him.

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