No Michelle.

“Shouts to all my Obamas. The 'niggas' is out. The 'Obamas' is in. The 'bitches' is out and the 'Michelles' is in. So if your lady gets you mad you say, ‘Michelle you betta get out of here before I slap the thunder out of you.’ Nah, let me stop playing but that’s how we doing it this year. We trynna switich up the fucked up language we been saying for the past few years. It’s actually been catching on a little bit. I was on the radio yesterday and I heard somebody saying that and I was like, ‘Wow that’s a great thing if we could call each other 'Obama' instead of 'nigga.'” -Jim Jones, (via

Immediately following the presidential election, I smelled Jim Jones on an episode of The Negro Channel's Crap City replacement, The Deal. He'd been promoting this change in "urban" lexicon since then. Initially I paid it no mind because... well... Jimmy was doing that blunted babble shit as per usual.

Unfortunately, he hasn't let go of the cause. I find it funny that the living, breathing, stinking personification of the "n-word" in its most derogatory sense is actually spending time and effort--better used practicing and showering--on this old Bill Cosby shit.

Dirt Angel will again be forced to defend his artistic right to free expression. When he does, I hope everyone remembers this publicity stunt--I mean, heartfelt attempt--to eradicate one of the most wonderful words from the English language.

Yes, I'm one of those Obamas from the school of thought that teaches words only have the power they're given. Words are merely a collection of characters that mean absolutely nothing until given life. Language evolves continuously as a result. There was once a time when the life energy behind the term in question was purely hateful. Our community has since shown strength and solidarity in the defiance and reconstruction of the term's intentions. Considering there had been a period in American history in which we weren't legally allowed to use English fully, I consider this a triumph and delight in the fact that I can say that word with the most enamoring of intentions.

The word "nigga" is a noun. It describes a person, place or a thing...

As much as I love Barack Obama so far, I don't think it's fair to uphold that one presidential negro as the standard for all blacks. "Nigga" may be a tougher seat for him to fill than the one in the Oval Office. It's always dangerous to place any one individual on a pedestal whereas they are wholly representative of an entire culture. If anything, we all represent one another. We are all Barack Obama as we are all Ron Mexico as we are all... you know, Soulja Boy.

With that said, Barack likely isn't even your kind of nigga. He's half-black, but everyone forgets that the chocolate half is African--like, for realsies African. We're talking the kind of African that shares very little culturally with "niggas" and has no trouble making one aware that they came to America of their own free will and have no intention of going on the welfare.

Here's the forgotten side of the Obama penny. White people have just as much claim to him as we negroes do. Making Obama synonymous with "nigga" is to de facto concede exclusive rights to that n-word we hold so dear. That means when Wally and Beaver Cleaver start to call themselves "nigga" in public instead of hunched over the N.W.A. tape in their room at night, you'd be in the wrong to confront them. Based on comments I've read at this site and those of other fine "urban" media purveyors, I'm sure most of you Obamas wouldn't be feeling that shit in the slightest.

I, like you, am still high on Obama's election as pres-o-dent. However, I'm not about to drink the Jones Kool-Aid and allow the sensationalism involved to serve as a shroud under which I'm relieved of my civil liberties. That'd be 'bout some Bush shit.

I'd much rather be ya nigga. You'll always be mine.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Myyyyyyyyyy nigga.

Hope you Obamas had a fan-fuckin-tastic holiday weekend. Now discuss.

P.S.: As they're both "Obamas," shouldn't "niggas" be "Baracks" and "bitches" "Michelles?"