Yung Berg in “Flavor of Redemption”
Fuck it. Kanye Week ends early. It’s Thanksgiving and shit.
“We are looking to find exceptional stand out beautiful dark skin/brown skin women to showcase all races of beauty on the show.” -Yung Berg’s management, Bossip.com
“She’s pretty for a dark skin shorty.” – Yung Berg, Bossip.com
If you’re as confused as I would be, check the Bossip aritcle on Yung Berg’s new reality show proposal. Think “Flavor of Love” except starring a partially-drowned pit bull instead of a gnawed California Raisin.
In a road to Dumb-ass-cus moment, Yung Berg denounces the ways of the swirl and excludes all noticeable products of swirlification from televised competition for his heart. (See: top quote) For once, the talent search will include [only] women who fail the paper bag test.
Sweet! We darkies finally win at something besides dying.
What could be more comforting in this post-Obama ’08 era than knowing Berg’s finally gonna man up and deal with the fact that a weave or an eyelash may just displace during a mandatory 4am cannonball into his skanky swimming pool?
That’s good for him. I reckon a man ain’t a man until he split the dark butt. I’m just disappointed that he’s already eliminated Keyshia Cole’s shot at winning it all. Fuck.
I also wonder what’s so different about these dark butts as opposed to the ones devalued a few months ago. The US Dollar has taken some hits since his last racially-charged statements. Maybe it’s just a better time to stock up on that good-ol’, dependable melanin-rich ass. I’m not much of a market guy–or a boss, for that matter. That’s just the Econ 100 talking.
Speaking of which–when you tells the black womens not to buy your shit, who the fuck do you think is gonna buy it? That was like Jerry Seinfeld telling all the TIs to take their gefilte fish money on over to Chris Rock at the Apollo.
[Blogger's Note: There. I finally used "TI" in a blog. I'm a real boy now. What's up? What's Hat'nin?]
Negro, please. When filming commences, Is Berg gonna endure this entire process with a screwface? We know he can’t really stand the stench of any of these African warrior princesses his manager is lining up. I guess if for no reason at all, this program may be worthwhile for the Al Reynolds/Star Jones awkward displays of affection at every turn.
He is not vindicated and this is the most ass-ignorant and offensive form of apology I could ever have fathomed.
I pondered what hip-hop’s patron saint of coonery would think of another rapper using the format that has kept his child support payments out of delinquency. Earlier today I learned that Flavor Flav is actually set to receive points on the project. Berg credits Flavor with pioneering and perfecting the vehicle for rap washouts to earn a nearly-decent living embarrassing themselves and all people of color.
“I ain’t no dickrider or nothin, but Flavor deserve a piece of this shit here,” an adamant Berg told Ron Mexico City this morning.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Are these your eyelashes? firstname.lastname@example.org