Negro Please Presents: Kanye Does Conan

Let’s thank the ghetto’s finest news source (WSHH) once again for compiling this digital treat.

Kanye Week continues with in-depth analysis of Mr. West’s every whimper as he makes his media rounds promoting the bitch-and-whinefest he calls a new album. The transcendent Yeezy Bear’s latest appearance on NBC’s Late Night with Conan O’Brien explores fashion, pop-a-rot-zees and the wonders of Auto-Tune.

How appropriate that they discuss fashion when Kanye comes to the program looking like Ray Charles–or at least like Ray Charles had dressed himself. Unless you’re actually blind, there’s no reason to have those shades on inside while–especially while someone’s talking to you.

[Blogger's Note: That's how we start this shit off right. Blind jokes, baby!]

I don’t think he could tell that his shirt was green with them damn BluBlockers on. Man… I love… these BluBlockers! Someone should kick a rap about those fawntaaaaaastic shades. Less than fantastic are the “Venitian blind” models homie’s been known to rock.

You need more than just some touchdown shades to refer to your shit as a Michael Jackson moment.” Gotta throw on some frizzled shoulder pads or a shrimpboat captain uniform on top of that. The shades alone just make you an asshole.

I don’t know what that body suit from Kanye’s Pastel collection is supposed to be. I thought I was tripping the fuck out. Fully-zipped nigga look like the Abominable Blowjob Monster. Maybe more The Rainbow Knight? Conan knew better than to take the bait on the robbery quip. It wouldn’t take the police too long to find the nigga wearing the full-body condom blasting 808s and Brokebacks.

Hmmm… Maybe it’s more like a co-coon than a condom.

When “Adult Urkel” is the tamest of your looks, you’re officially a Martian. Blowjob monster jokes aside, I’m not going to make any conjectures into sexual orientation–as Kanye’s potential homosexuality is completely irrelevant–but I remembember the kid in kindergarten who prided himself in compiling his ensemble. He later became the kid who made a move on me in recess on the monkey bars.

I’m just taking mental notes so that I’m not all that surprised when Kanye finally comes out of the closet.

The biggest “Negro Please” of the day comes in Kanye’s comparison of the civil rights activism of his fathers to snuffing a cameraman. Interesting. Even if I were to give Ye the benefit of the doubt and say that an unauthorized flick is a violation of civil rights–as opposed to just being a dick move–I can’t say that snuffing a nigga in frustration is akin to a Woolworth sit-in.

I tried. I can’t do it. As president of the BCLU (Bloggers’ Civil Liberties Union), I can’t co-sign.

King Elvis Kanye, the greatest pop-artist in American history truly has a talent for making people feel he thinks they’re beneath him. Unfortunately for him, everything can backfire as too many others have access to the secret of his iconoclasticosity. [I made that word up. You like?] If Ron Browz can mock convenience store chatter into it and have a hit record, you need a new Campbell’s soup can.

Kanye is also fucked in that I don’t think I’m the only person who’d rather hear Conan use Auto-Tune.

Excuse me, brothers and sisters. I have to go to the bathroom really really badly.

[Translation: I really don't feel like blogging with you niggas anymore today. Let's wrap this shit the fuck up.]

Questions? Comments? Requests? You better wrap that fuckin gavel up, Bee!

Enjoy yourselves tomorrow, bitches. Try not to have any itis-related fashion mishaps.

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  • JDizzeI3000


  • amar

    lol u should just rename this blog “kanye please” with the theme of the posts lately hahaha

    damn mr west’s voice is raspy and he’s wearing shades indoors. I think he made some music that wasn’t white t-ready enough, which resulted in young jeezy throat-fucking and cockslapping the poor man to oblivion in a bobby brown fashion(YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH)

    • E

      Dude you keep trying but unfortunately you are not funny unlike Matt Herbz or Mr. OG bobby G!

      Speaking of OG, where the fuck did he go?

      • Pierzy

        Hopefully they both did us all a favor and killed themselves.

        • amar

          when you’re done begging matt herbz to swallow his seaman, get the fuck off this website and finish squeejee-ing my car. I’m not paying you my hard-earned $2 for nothing, fuckboy.

        • E

          Someone cant handle the truth. Is this the type of nigga Billy X calls “bitchmade”?

  • Kingpin

    Ron Mexico, we get it. I’m pretty sure anyone who enjoyed Kanye previous albums is disappointed in his latest offering as well as his attitude.
    But you’re beginning to stay on his nuts! Three consecutive blogs on Kanye-bashing? That’s more gay than Kanye’s latest album.

    Here’s a suggestion:
    Take Kanye’s nuts outta your mouth, it’s clouding your judgement. I’m sure there’s more Hip-Hop stuff out there to write about rather than Kanye-bashing and fucking lame “Blind Jokes”. Peace

    Kingpin, Cape Town

  • will

    You’re about the most pathetic so called blogger i have ever seen. Attacking artists is just a sign of idiocy and lack of ideas. I hope to see you in the hobo industry soon.

  • Lupe Fiasco

    Hey it’s me Lupe Fiasco be nice to kanye please <3

  • tony grand$

    I wonder what Ye’s gonna do for thanksgiving. Light some incense, play some Sade, & enjoy some tofurkey. Sounds about right. & since dude’s venturing further & further away from nigga-dom, he won’t be bogged down by the ‘itis.
    Damn Mex, u make that nigga seem like a train derailment, u don’t want to watch him, but u just can’t fuckin help it! I guess ur putting the banana & peanutbutter sandwich in the voicebox tube didn’t work, because his on full blast douche bag mode, making his revolution televised even. Don’t tell nobody, but I’m gonna peep that shit on Conan, just because.
    I thought u would be through goin in on him by today, ah, but yet u continue to keep the ROFL’s a-comin!!
    Happy Thanksgiving to all, & to all a goodnight…….

  • orange 9

    Ah Ron this shit cracked me up – the Rainbow Knight! Ye needs to get the fuck outta here, prancing around like he’s the messiah, dude like michael jackson in all the wrong ways. I used to hate on Hov for keeping him in back but now i wish he’d kept him there permanent.

  • Pierzy

    C’mon Mexx…you know that fighting for equal rights is completely on par with punching a member of the paparazzi! Remember when Martin Luther King used to smack cameramen during those bus boycotts?

  • FlapJack

    hahahah! Amar is on Ronnies dick like he got diabetes and there’s insulin in it

    • amar

      i like the pun pun

      • FlapJack

        good for you! you are kind of mexicos stan though, don’t front.
        prettypancakes > ronmexicocity though.. is that yours?

  • Shawty J

    Sorry, Ronnie this one just felt like you phoned it in. Probably shouldn’t focus too much energy on one guy during one week.

    “Excuse me, brothers and sisters. I have to go to the bathroom really really badly.

    [Translation: I really don't feel like blogging with you niggas anymore today. Let's wrap this shit the fuck up.]”

    Yep, like you weren’t even trying.

  • Ghost

    iconoclasticosity…I think I can use that at dinner tomorrow…


    King Elvis Kanye, the greatest pop-artist in American history truly has a talent for making people feel he thinks they’re beneath him
    Actually he is the greatest fag-artist in gay American history

  • grant ny

    just to clarify or “OG” matt herbz and “og bobby j not a joke like G -UNOT KILLA? cos if not man they had me, those two are fuckin idiots.

  • giantstepp

    “I thought I was tripping the fuck out. Fully-zipped nigga look like the Abominable Blowjob Monster.”…..classic, LMAO!!!

    You a fool for that one Ron Mex, my nigga. Stay getting at that arrogant Sonofabitch Mex. That nigga’s trippin and needs to be brought down a notch or two. As always, Im riding witcha Homie.

  • Ron Mexicos pops

    Ron I usually like you blogs but you Kanye dickriding is getting a little bit outta. Why does what Kanye feel about him self make you so angry? Could it be that his life is poppin while yours sucks balls? Forreal son in the words of Jay-z “What you eat don’t make me shit”. I mean damn I know your “job” is hate on people but in saying that, your coming off as nothing more than an angry Stan. Who’s pissed off because you waited hours for an autograph and Kanye just walked pass you. lol get a fucking life dude and maybe, just maybe you won’t get mad that you can’t live someone elses. lame ass nigga.

    FYI I’m not a Kanye fan. I’m just a real nigga, with a real nigga opinon.

  • Poppa Mexico

    I know in true bitch made fashion you won’t post my reply but I also know you read it. I hope you actually can take the time out of lickin Kanyes nuts to think how you come across. After all they say you only get angry with someone but you have the same qualites in your self. the arrogant dickhead who calls another nigga arrogant. In other words check yourself before you begin to check someone else. Aight son I’m out. Tell your mother to have my dinner ready by the time I make it home or I’m gonna shit in her mouth, two girls and a cup style.

    You have just been Etherd By Daddy Mexico

    “Daddy Mexico, sonning wackass bloggers the world over”

  • ron mexico

    “Kanye Week continues with…”

    that’s all i got, bro.

    i mean… daddy.

  • amfv

    Aaaaahhhhhhh that motherfucker is the Abominable Blowjob Monster. Keep doin your thing mexico. fuck em. as long as he keeps settin em up you should knock em down. Kinda sounds like kangay boyfriends are gettin pissed though. Fags.


    I still haven’t even heard 808′s. I just happened to hear the NPR review, and dude was doing his best tapdancing routine to keep from dissing the album.

    Hopefully Ye just needed to get this shit out and will come back home in 12-24 months, like Curtis is trying to do.

  • Matt Herbz

    I saw the show with Conan and for real, Kanye’s out there, man. Nah, like OUT THERE out there, nahmean?! First, what’s with the sunglasses indoors? Then, I was laughing my ass off at how he made the connection between his fighting forebearers and his personal vendetta against the paparazzi. Dude came off a straight herb and not in a Herbz kinda way. And then, I wasn’t even sure if dude really had to piss or he was just being a bitch to get off the stage. Either way, you could tell Conan felt a little awkward about having to interview such a spaz. Kanye’s performance blew, too–he really thinks he’s a rockstar with all his little stage dances and shit. Fuck that nigga.

    –Matt Herbz–

  • Smel

    Conan singing Staying Alive into the auto tune was CLASSIC.

    Kanye is the new Liberace. For real.

    I support “iconoclasticosity” (as a new word, not the concept)