Does The Studio=Pussy?

Let’s keep it real here, we don’t need those blinking lights on our keyboard or console, but they sure do look good. Women like blinking lights. It makes them feel like we’re doing some kind of weird science, something they can’t understand. And that’s cool and unknown and attractive.

Used to be that rappers and performers got all the chicks. A dude could sing some fucking Maxwell song at an open mic and he’d wind up with some pussy that night. That’s just how it is for R&B cats. Sing a note, get some choch.

But rappers and singers are a dime a dozen. So are producers, but at least there’s still an aura of mystique about us. Songwriters too. We’re not out there on front street like rappers and sleazy industry dudes trying to sleep with every chick they meet out at a party.

They get somebody else’s baby mamma pussy. They get “in da club” pussy. Producers get more sophisticated pussy, like chicks who actually know and care about music. Who respect your talent. Or they get artist pussy. You know, like the “aspiring female R&B singer” pussy. Or if you’re an established producer, like JR Rotem, you might wind up fucking Britney Spears. Or if you’re Dallas Austin, you might find yourself fucking Christina Aguilera.

You know how it is, you’re in close quarters for hours on end, working on music. The creative energy is flowing. It gets late. The lights are dim. You wind up taking a break. Before you know it she’s sitting on your lap while you’re showing her how to play a line on the keyboard. She leans over to grab her glass of whatever alcohol she’s drinking, her tits are in your face. You kiss her neck, and it goes on from there.

Before you know it you got this chick bent over wheelbarrow style. Word to JR.

This doesn’t just apply to people who actually, ya’know, have work to do in the studio. How often is your homeboy stopping by your studio with a new jumpoff just to “show her around?” In my experience, pretty damn often. I used to have a separate room in my recording facility that was just for fucking. Any time someone needed it, they could just go in there and lock the door.

The music industry may be in the shitter, but the studio is always going to be the fucking coolest place on earth to regular people. Even though I can do the same shit minus the blinking lights in about half the time on my laptop, I’ll still take the console and the gear any day. Just because I wanna, ya’know, impress naive women.

And that’s what life’s all about, no?

If you haven’t used all the gear you’ve bought to get some ass, my friends, consider your money completely wasted. Unless of course you got a bunch of placements and used your front end checks and royalties to buy some high priced Elliott Spitzer-type prostitute. Then of course, it was money well spent.

So talk to me, are you XXL folks using your studio to your advantage or what?

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  • Billy X. Sunday

    I get blogger pussy which is usually some old bitch that has had labia surgery.


  • amar

    LOL hilarious…but sharing a room with dozens of your homeboys for fucking? Kinda gross. Better than on all your equipment and shit though I suppose…

    but doesn’t every occupation get some occupation-related, or “occupational” pussy? I imagine even a plumber, with the right amount of game could turn a chick on by showing her how to work the plunger. Ok maybe not.

  • bella

    this is so fucking true!!!!


  • KF UK

    same goes for playin guitar / bass….

  • tony grand$

    I used to do the lil “I’m-gonna-be-the-next-hot-shit-on-the-mic” rap thing, for years, obviously didn’t pan out for ya boy lol, but it was one thing I could never understand……how the fuck was my producer(s) gettin all that pussy?!? Here I am like like the illegitimate love child of CL Smooth & MC Lyte, rap nigga stylo on full blast, & this nigga would just sit there, twistin knobs & pushin buttons, a broad walk in, Boda Bing, he got her in the Ric Flair greasin the sugah walls. It never failed. Finally, I gave up on my dreams, but I bet that fool’s in some trim right now readin this shit.


      YEY I AM

  • Biz

    Yesss sir! so true had this convo with my peeps the other day!

  • J.Troup

    Nope…never. No fuckin in the studio.

    When I’m in the lab, I’m focused…strictly business.

    I was producing/recording an album for these one independent cats, and their crew was getting some groupie hoes naked on the couch behind me…I turned around and saw titties and thongs, and told em that they had to take that shit out in the other room, that I was trying to work!!

    Groupie pussy ain’t the kind I’m trying to get anyway!

  • capcobra

    groupies wanna be famous tooooo….just ask carmen and superhead…i suggest you rap niguz get a camera in the studio before you get a mic booth…because most bitches wanna go down to be down way before your song blow up…this way you don’t forget to ‘em when it’s video/tour time…lol….god forbid if you wrote a song about her…..lmao.

  • Incilin

    I only been in a studio like one time. The singer’s sister was the only chick in there. I’m guessing that smut only came thru to get attention and she attracted a lot of it. No one got it in (she was 16), but I guess I could see why ladies might like the studio and how it could lead to sex.

    Lol at that whole sex scene too. Yo straight up, the XXL bloggers to need to write a screenplay about hip hop and Ron Mex could write all the dialouge. Shit would be funny as hell.

  • jackpot

    Studio sessions were always closed for me. Me and the engineer. No entourage, no booz, no weed. Just me and the pen.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    I fucked a bitch on the soundboard once. She broke off about 15 knobs that had to be replaced and she had various dimples and scratches on her ass and thighs from sitting on top. Plus, when she got hers, she squirted pretty hard and fucked my shit up. I thought she broke it for good and I was like “Bitch, I’m a have to ho you out for a long-ass time to pay me back for this board right here…” She was crying and shit, but come to find out, I checked the fuses and she just shorted one of the circuits. A $5 fuse later and JMoney and DJ Lucky Luke were back on the mic spitting murda verses. Get some, nigga…

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • squadwildin

    OG Matt Herbz you stay lyin yo ass off about pussy you aint get…Kill that shit nigga

  • OG Matt Herbz


    Squadwildin you stay lyin yo ass off about wildin wit da squad yo aint got…Kill that shit nigga.

    And for you information, as of 8:24 pm EST, the waiting list to fuck me stands at 86 days and 4 hours…I hit ‘em off in block of hours so fuck the minutes, nahmean?! Chill, homey.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • styles11

      ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^–OG Matt Herbz–

      i knew this dude would be on this blog. as long as its abt cash, weed and pussy matt herbz will have a story to tell.
      stdio pussy.. aint got that yet but il try it when i get dumped