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Yung Berg just got Kimbo Slice’d

Yung Berg is gonna have to beat the shit out of Ne-Yo, or at least try to, or else I’m done with him.

Not that I’ve supported the guy in his career, nor would I actually listen to any of his songs of my own volition, but I did come to the guy’s defense when he had the sheer balls to say that he’s bring back the paper bag test. I’m glad any time a rapper these days has the courage to stand up for his own beliefs.

Of course, he was eventually forced to apologize, but he kinda had to. His audience probably consists primarily of dark skinted broads. Hopefully, he took those dark butts’ money and bought some pussy from a white chick.

I know that’s what I’d do, both on GP, and for… erm, my own personal amusement.

Also, I thought it was lame when Trick Trick and his little brother beat the crap out of him and stole that silly Tranformers chain. Then, a few weeks later, Maino slapped the shit out him in a club.

As if beating up a guy like Yung Berg proves anything at all. You know the guy’s 5’3. So what he talked shit about Flo Rida’s hairline and then threatened to beat up that guy Brisco? You know how little bitty mofos are always threatening to beat people up. That doesn’t mean you beat the shit out of them.

They’re like women in that sense. Except that, if you absolutely have to stomp one of them out, you can get away with it with minimal societal outrage. Whereas, if you beat up a woman way bigger than Yung Berg, you’d never hear the end of it.

But I digress.

Anyhoo, now I see motherfucking Ne-Yo, of all people, is getting in on the Yung Berg bashing. I guess doing his own “A Milli” remix wasn’t enough. What’s next, is he gonna start fucking girls?

No but really, there’s a video circulating of an appearance Ne-Yo made in a mall or some such, hosted by the inexplicably successful urban radio host Big Boy. In it, Big Boy asks Ne-Yo if there’s anyone in hip-hop he would three-finger slap (whatever that is), if he could, and Ne-Yo says Yung Berg, because he’s ripping off Lil’ Wayne.

Two things that occurred to me:

1) Lil’ Wayne, if he’s not actually gay, might want to watch out. First, Ne-Yo learned to rap just so he could do a version of one of Lil’ Wayne’s songs, and now he’s attacking Yung Berg on Lil’ Wayne’s behalf. That probably means Ne-Yo wants to fuck Lil’ Wayne, right?

2) Getting beat up is one thing. Everyone with a bad personality takes an L in a fight on occasion. But getting threatened by a teh ghey guy is another thing altogether.

Having Ne-Yo threaten to slap you in a web video might be even worse than actually getting beat up by a teh ghey guy, like Kimbo Slice did.

It’s like, keep it real: If you saw Kimbo Slice walking down the street, you wouldn’t get all up in his face like, “Ha ha, you got knocked right the fuck out by a fag!” But you’d wait until he got a safe distance away from you, then you’d be like, “Ha ha, that gorilla got knocked right the fuck out by a fag!”

But at least Kimbo Slice tried. He’s just retarded, and hence not a very good fighter strategically. Plus, some of these fruits are bad motherfuckers. I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t been able to sleep quite right ever since I saw that “this hamburger’s got AIDS” scene in True Blood.

No homo on watching True Blood.

As a matter of fact, there’s no guarantee Yung Berg would actually prevail in a fight with Ne-Yo. Like most men who ever lived, Ne-Yo’s a bit bigger than Yung Berg. But I’m assuming he can’t hit very hard, due to the limpness of his wrist.

If you notice, that guy Petruzelli had to kick Kimbo Slice in his head and then punch him like 40 times before he finally gave up. I doubt I could lift my leg high enough to kick a five year-old in the head, let alone Kimbo Slice, but once I got him down, I could probably take him out with one good shot.

Either way, I’m gonna have to insist that Yung Berg to enter into some sort of physical confrontation with Ne-Yo. Or else, I might have to see about sending Maino after him again. Not because I’m a homophobe, or because any of this has any bearing on my life. I just think there ought to be rules to things. What do you fruits think?

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