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T.I. Suggests ATLiens Dime Off Whenever They Like

Reduced-time rapper/actor/weapon connoisseur Clifford “T.I.P.” Harris has an entirely different type of Paper Trail for the peoples of Atlanta to follow.

“Yeen’t gotta leave yo’ home all night.

If you got a phone, drop dime on ya nig-ger-row [Negro]

Whenever you liiiiiiiike!/

Yeah. You can snitch whenever you like.” T.I., Channel 2 News (Atlanta) via WSHH

I’m not going to go as far as using the “s”-word to describe civilians reporting crime in their own neighborhoods. [We’ve already eased on down Definition Road with the likes of Cam’ron and other misguided rapsters who fail to understand the concept’s confinement to a particular field, game or industry.] However, a spearchucker like T.I. ought to know better than to…

Wait a minute. What “s”-word y’all thought I was talking about?

Oh, I kid the spearchuckers. It’s easy, fun and no one seems to care about penalizing it no matter how insensitive the jokes get.

T.I. completely put the kibosh on his shit when he said “Some people call me Tip, but this is about another kind of ‘tip.’ I don’t care if you’re the biggest T.I. hater on earth or if he brought a turkey to your doorframe last Thanksgiving. That shit is hilarious. While Mr. Harris may have been brainwashed into believing he’s empowering his community with this insight, he’s only empowering Shawty Lo’s next abysmal effort to defame the Grand Hustler’s character.

Homie just gave that cockface “L-Oh” another prosthetic leg to sling behind Fabo’s neck. Good work, pimpin’.

Being that snitching has supplanted [male] homosexuality as the new cardinal sin of “urban” black culture, you’d think a gangster rapper such as Mr. Harris would have lobbied to work out another means of fulfilling his community service requirement. I’m all the way up-top, as they say in the A. I can only imagine watching T.I. headline a Crimestoppers spot down there being akin to catching a Whitney Houston canvassing for Narcotics Anonymous–Confusion abound.

I mean, damn. Only worse would be to find out that Alpa Chino had denounced tha pussy.

Know that T.I. sacrificing his musical image this way is the modern equivalent to being locked in stocks before a Town Hall meeting for all to pelt with rotten food.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with “civilians” ratting out sloppy dopeboys making too much damn noise in the lobby when they know damn well Ms. Beverly lives in apt. 1D. She’s old, close to De Lawd and needs her resticles. What’s fundamentally improper is the notion of American gangster rappers who claim to be actual high-yeller Napoleonic gangsters advocating snitchery on other players after they’ve already crapped out.

Did somebody say “American Gangster?” Are we talking about the BET show where damn near every gangster ends up snitching to reduce their sentence? Or are we talking about the movie in which T.I. should have stayed his ass in the Negro Leagues? Either way, Tip is at a loss.

I’m not even really mad that T.I. went and gave up half the A in exchange for his light-in-the-ass sentence. He’s a rapper-slash-actor with like 9 kids and a chipmunk at home. Anyone expecting actual stand-up behavior from someone like that needs to meet me behind the XXL office building at 5pm. I got a bridge in Brooklyn for sale–real cheap. You could recoup your $50,000 in a matter of hours if you put a $4 toll on the motherfucker.

An offer like this won’t last forever. Give me a call at 212-577-TIPS. You don’t have to show your face, and I won’t tell anyone you bought the Brooklyn Bridge if you don’t want me to.

Negro, please. Tip advertizing police tips is like R. Kelly playing the new music/P.E./sex-ed substitute teacher in High School Musical 4.

“Yeah, Crimestoppers. Wuz hat’nin, pimpin? My name Clufford. Yeah… What? I ain’t have to tell my name? Oh, aight then. Whatever. Well, dig dis hea’, Shawty. They got these niggas in town sellin these automatic weapons…”

Questions? Comments? Requests? ron@ronmexicocity.com

“See, pimpin… It’s kinda like Bossip. You got tips on what your favorite hood celebrities is up to? Just give us a cawll! Cameraphone pictures help, but all you gotta do is cawll the hotline and tell us what Bootney Lee and Peanut doin behind the Techwood and we good, folk.”

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