RIP Soulja Boy’s Career 2007-2008

Soulja Boy better hope that he really does have a deal with YouTube where he gets paid ten cents every time someone comments on one of his videos, as he claims he does, and that he can actually make a shiteload of money from that. Because his career as a rapper is as dead as motherfucking doornails.

He hasn’t really had a hit since “Crank That,” and it hasn’t been for a lack of trying. He’s put out at least four or five singles since then, but maybe even more than that, and they’ve all failed to set the world on fire.

I’ll admit, I was somewhat amused by “Yah, Trick, Yah,” or whatever it was called. I didn’t think it was a good song or anything, but I liked how retarded it was, and the fact that it was actually played on the radio. It was like if one of these lablels had actually signed Eli Porter to a deal, and radio stations started playing that infamous, controversial Iron Mic freestyle.

I spent about two weeks earlier this year yelling, “Yah, trick, yah,” at people in traffic, when they would act like little bitches, but then I just kinda forgot about it. And who can even remember what the other singles were from that first album?

But you can hardly blame him for the fact that nothing else on that first album managed to live up to “Crank That.” How was he supposed to know that “Crank That” was gonna become such a big hit in the first place? Otherwise, he could have done an entire album of variations on “Crank That.” Just like T.I. now has umpteen songs that all kinda sound like “What You Know,” despite the fact that I never really got what was so special about that song in the first place. Truth be told, the singles from the album he had out back when I was in college, produced by guys like David Banner and Jazze Pha (I know), are far superior to anything he’s done since. And yet, I doubt they were ever even as popular as, say, “Big Things Poppin’.” It’s funny how that works.

But I digress.

The real test to see if I got pull Soulja Boy is gonna end up a one hit wonder is the follow-up to the album with “Crank That.” Which, as far as I know, has yet to be released, probably because the label is waiting for Soulja Boy to come up with another song that anyone likes – not unlike how they tried, and tried, and tried again with Nelly, before they finally just said, fuck it, and cut their losses.

Some shit called the Bird Walk was supposed to be the new “Crank That,” but it doesn’t seem to have caught on at all. I remember, back when he first came out with it, Soulja Boy was obviously trolling YouTube to try to get people to post videos of themselves doing the Bird Walk, the same way they did with “Crank That.” But the only people I ever saw doing it were these Chinese dudes.

Which leads me to believe that Soulja Boy could end up one of these groups that’s inexplicably popular in China. Like Cheap Trick, or Night Ranger. Has there ever been a hip-hop equivalent of a group like that? It would suck if Soulja Boy was the first, and maybe even the only one. Because you know China now somehow has all of the money in the world, as evidenced by the ridonkulous spectacle that was the opening ceremony of this year’s Olympics, and because I want to see Soulja Boy fail. Miserably. I’m tired of his shit.

In particular, I’m getting tired of this series of videos that he’s doing called Rich Nigga Shit, in which he does stupid shit like blow his nose with money and then toss it out in a Louis Vuitton trash can, give bums a huge wad of money to buy drugs, and pay one of his weed carriers $10,000 to drink an entire bottle of Patron. I’ve posted several of them to my own site, in case you aren’t familiar with them. You might want to consult Google. On the one hand, they’ve been the one thing that he’s done that’s genuinely kinda amusing. But on the other hand, you can’t help but wish he’d fall off his Segway and become a cripple. Just to set things right with the universe. I don’t have any problems with musicians becoming very wealthy, but I do have a problem with musicians becoming very wealthy when they suck balls.

Speaking of which, I see Soulja Boy seems to have given up on the Bird Walk, and is releasing another single, “Turn My Swag On,” the video for which has been posted today in this site’s Bangers section. The song might be the worst thing he’s come up with to date. It takes another huge leap forward in bridging the gap between himself and Eli Porter, and yet, it doesn’t contain a single line as brilliant as, say, “I’m the best, mayne. I deed it.” The video actually draws on his Rich Nigga Shit series, but it isn’t nearly as amusing as those videos. I’d rather watch any one of them rather than this actual music video based on them. But I mostly just wish I’d never heard of Soulja Boy in the first place.

  • FUCK YOU

    FUKK YOU BOL!

  • og bobby j

    is it still hate if its fact?

    • BIGNAT

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    • squadwildin

      Honestly tho… where did he get all this money from to have 3 houses and a lamborghini and shit.

      He barely went platinum. Plenty niggas went platinum and aint eatin like him.

      He just might be an idiot savant for marketing. Consider that.

      Not a musical genius…thats for dam sure

  • http://xxlmag.com Jmill1224

    Eli Porter > Souljah Boy. His new song sucks ass cracks. Can we just take the word swag and bury that shit.

  • paychexx

    good one bol
    w.i.p.( wack in peace) souljah boi

  • http://xxlmag.com jmill1224

    Anyone watch the Coon Ent. Television Shit Hop Awards last nite?

    • BIGNAT

      I FLIPPED BACK AND FORTH HOW COME WANYE JUMPED ON STAGE LIKE ALMOST ANYTIME SOMEONE WAS PERFORMING. HE WAS RUNNING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND LIKE A CHIMP ON CRACK EYES ALL FUCKED UP LEAN WAS ON THE MENU THAT NIGHT

  • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

    lol it was funny when he said he wants to be a flash animator in one of the rns videos. Oh and at least he didn’t EAT his money like that other fag back in the day

    also, tupac and eminem are among artists who are/were big on a global scale outside of north america…i can totally see soulja boy being sarah palin’s vp runningmate in 2016 though…he’s young, inexperienced, dumb as balls and got the black vote on lock on top of that. Shit, he could fuel home-grown businesses by giving money to hobos, who give money to crack sellers, who give money to air jordan! yes we can (YULE!)

    http://www.prettypancakes.com

  • these posts are racist

    Did he really blow his nose with money?

    This is hate either way. Let the young man make his bones.

    • OG Matt Herbz

      Yes, he really blew his nose with some bills in both hands…put em to his face and shit…and he ate a bowl of diamonds like cereal. Then, for the rest of the video, he was throwing money in the air, walking on money, talking about looking at himself in the mirror, and then doing some dumb shit like riding a Segway in the front lawn of somebody else’s house and going over to Arab’s house to play XBox 360.

      Nah, I ain’t gonna let him ride on this one. The first few of his (s)hits were passable being that he actually got some fool-ass children to do some dance he made up and it just sounded like he wanted to have fun. This time around, he’s rubbing it in our faces how much dough he’s got? Fuck it, I’m a say it: That nigga is wack as a muthafucka and til the day I die I pledge I will never donate a cent to his efforts. I hear it on the radio, I’m a change it…one of my females puts that shit in the Bose and I’m a slump her and dump her somewhere. I ever see that fool on the street and I’m a spit on his mama… In 2008, how niggaz still gonna feel songs about stupid kids and stupid money and selling yourself to the game for the price of all your self-respect?

      In the mafia you make your bones by killing someone. In hip hop, you make your bones by furthering the artform… That bitch is too pussy to be a killer, and too got-damn sold out to be hip hop.

      –OG Matt Herbz–

      • these posts are racist

        Matt,

        I would like to respond, but if i say something substantive that you are unable to retort, you’ll simply hide under your “character”…So why are you trying to engage me in a “discussion” if nothing on the internet should be taken seriously, and your M.O. is simply to interject comedy into hip hop websites. I’m sorry, but I like to have real discussions…

        • Matt Herbz

          Well, can you even have a discussion with having to resort to your accusations of racism, bigotry, and all that other shit? You asked a question in your post and I gave you more than an answer, I gave you my point of view. It’s solid; I told you why I don’t like him, now if you will, tell us why you think it’s acceptable for him to keep making shitty music and getting paid. See, this is what happens when you allow this shit in hip hop, the next thing you know, there are 10 dudes just like him with no skills, making beats on a freeware program, talking about their “swag.” I don’t even enjoy listening to the radio anymore, I keep my ’93-’98 shit on repeat on the player. I don’t like it–I am still free to give my opinion on this site, correct?

          –OG Matt Herbz–

        • these posts are racist

          We agree one thing for certain – I keep my I-Pod on ’93-’98 stuff as well, for the most part.

          You can have your opinion – definitley. Again, the only racist comment I made was in regards to your “bad hair” comment, which you still have not proffered a responset to…

          In any event, I don’t listen to Soulja Boy, at all, because I don’t enjoy his music. But I won’t ever, ever go out of my way to try to bash someone trying to make their money and live life…Or lead a charge to ruin the person. I wish him well. There is no hate in me…I like seeing people do well, even if they make a lot more money than me, for doing a lot less or making music I consider to be wack.

  • http://xxlmag.com jmill1224

    Hate? Fuck that word too! This aint hate, this is people with a fully functioning brain, cracking on a special ed. muffucka. At least forrest gump knew he was dumb!

    • TEZZY

      Funny how a special ed kid get paid to do shit on the internet and you dont

      YEAH ITS HATE

      • Yayza

        No, I’m pretty sure hate is when you blow your nose with money and flaunt your undeserved wealth while there are people all over the world starving and/or without a roof over their head. Chastising the nigga perpetrating that type of tomfoolery is not hate.

  • One hit wonders are no threat to hip hop

    @ bol

    One thing about soulja boy is, that lil nigga has no flow, no lyrics, no good song concepts, no hot beats, bascially NOTHING to offer the world besides a coon in 4x tall shirt and white out on his glasses…..it comes across as hating. So dont hate, just let soulja boy fail on his own. U give the wack niggas life by speaking their names. Look at it like this, soulja boy would be LUCKY to become Mc hammer.

  • sealsaa

    LMAO @ forrest gump stupidity awareness.

    Not suprising. Soulja Boy was bound to fade into obscurity sooner or later. Nelly would have faded away sooner, if not for that 4 year hiatus, which ironically, ended his career. Somehow I take comfort in the fact that Nelly ended his own career. Call it poetic justice.

  • http://xxlmag.com jmill1224

    As hard as is to admit, Nelly wrote songs! Corny, but they was whole phrases, sentences,etc. This “failed abortion” aint writing shit! I respect KRS, but after he see this coonery, regret that bullshit meeting!

  • Simple like ABC, 123

    “Look at this dude, he need to stay in the shade, ain’t no wonder why he came out, he already in the gay parade.” Eli Porter

    Eli Porter >>>>> Soulja Boy

  • sealsaa

    LMAO @ Eli Porter comparison. I DEED IT! :D

  • Soulja Boy

    I wish I knew how to read or write :-(

    • Simple like ABC, 123

      “Yah, Trick, Yah” BOL

  • giantstepp

    You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you cant fool all of the people all of the time. Or some shit like that….my point is, as stupid as we are, we aint that stupid to keep giving this fool shine! I hate ti hate on a youngsta like this, but Soulja Boy and his ilk has to be stoped.

  • WestCoastRyda

    Bol you’re a talentless hater… I’m only taking time to write in your worthless column because it is my way of sayin Fuck to you corporate America.

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      Fool, I’m the anti-corporate America. They don’t even let me walk on the sidewalk outside office buildings.

      • these posts are racist

        Byron,

        I’m writing something for you…have been busy lately, but I’ll try to get it to you via email soon.

        • EReal

          ^
          NULLUS!

  • El Tico Loco

    Since when pointing out an obvious flaw hate?

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    “Which leads me to believe that Soulja Boy could end up one of these groups that’s inexplicably popular in China. Like Cheap Trick, or Night Ranger. Has there ever been a hip-hop equivalent of a group like that? It would suck if Soulja Boy was the first, and maybe even the only one.”

    You would have thought Jin…

    • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

      actually i believe jin is moderately popular in china..or at least hong kong.

      Also he’s as huge as jin gets in vancouver, where there are a lotta asian ppl who like rap. Actually I was clubbing once and apparently jin was mc’ing lol…he got super high and hammered and went “I’M SO HIGH” before falling on his ass. It was awesome.

      http://www.prettypancakes.com

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    how could i have missed “rich nigga shit?”

    damn.

    oh, well.

    wamme do my berrrrrd wawk!

    if bird walk didn’t have verses it would have caught on.

    YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU

  • SW PHILLY

    KRS-ONE gave him props and just like a bastard child look at what he does. Smh.When I was growin’ up dudes like Shaheim, Nas, Special Ed, Tribe, Outkast,Snoop hell even Illegal and Da Youngsta could all spit.And they was all teenagers!There is no excuse. But of course….. Get ya money. Right?…………New generation new bullshit

  • wat-wat-watt

    lol @ liking how retarded crank dat was..

  • geico lizard

    so now soulja boy is to china what david hasselhof is to germany? he better follow the money and move over there because some A list rappers are dropping albums in the next 4 months so even ciara and beyonce are trying to dodge those sharks. wtf is lebron james doing on college gameday,lmao. im glad he and jay z are doing that concert for obama even though espn guys were hating on him and saying just jump high and run fast nigger dont have an opinion.

  • DV8

    Eli Porter would rip Soulja Boy in a battle.
    I agree with you I did get a kick out of “Yah Trick Yah” but thats about it.

  • big dick cheney

    I’d like to add that coon is extremely racist and i’d wish ya’ll niggas would stop describing other niggas as coons….

    that is all

  • http://laksjf.com MARCY

    personally, i don’t crank that shit, but the girls love it, kids love it, you gotta respect the hustle, the kid did it on his own terms! made his money and promotion his way, YOU gotta respect that, he’s showing a positive and succsessful grind, STOP HATIN, we still got 8 diagrams and the big doe rehab to bump

  • grant ny

    very true post, but turn my swag on is catchy as fuck cum on, he shud try full sentences he may may make a half decent song, or he should get ghost writer in. peace

    • og bobby j

      “cum” on yourself chief….Spelling FAIL.

  • jseres

    Man fuck that shit Eli Porter > Souljah Boy

  • KF UK

    and pay one of his weed carriers $10,000 to drink an entire bottle of Patron

    SHIT ID DO THAT FOR FREE