Lyfe Jennings Ain’t Playin’ Witcha

“Deeper situations tend to lead to deeper music and prison was one of those deeper situations. (Music) gave me an opportunity to express emotions in an unemotional environment.” -Lyfe Jennings

This nigga shit finna be deep as fuck then. Prison life must be nice.

Oh, stop looking at me like that. I had to. You know you thought about that video’s ominous beginning too.

Chester “Lyfe” Jennings just sounds like the kind of disturbed individual that will set fire to your shit over his missing Positive K tape. He don’t care if grandma-nana in there sleepin or nothin. At least he was just an arsonist and not that other thang his given name would suggest. (See: Dana Dane)

I bet the only reason he didn’t try to bring that old thing back is because a gallon of gas costs more than a clip of talons right about now. Homie needs every drop of gas inside that tank if he’s gonna pop a bitch and peel from the police in his Little Red Corvette.

Somewhere in Minnesota, Prince just dropped his Watchtower in disgust and walked away from the pancake table.

I guess negroes is lucky Chester Chester didn’t go all Prometheus on that ass again. He could have smoked his baby mama out instead of running up in the crib with the heater looking to smoke his baby mama out. (See what I did there?)

Clearly homeboy was gone off that water, wardie. He didn’t find anyone inside the crib, but still managed to let off a round and get that ever-incarcerating “shots fired at [insert address]“ call put out on his ass. I shudder to think what would have happened had anyone been home. We might have been looking at one of them Chris Benoit moments.

I hate prisons. I think we need to rethink our rehabilitation plan en masse. With that said, some niggas do need to be locked away from the rest of us. I don’t even feel safe listening to a Lyfe Jennings record anymore, let alone knowing he could be out on the streets rippin down King Cobra and lettin Blinky Blink.

[Blogger's Note: The softest rap name of all time has one of the hardest meanings]

Jail nigga, please. If you wanted to go back to prison so badly, you could have just tossed a brick through the supermarket window and waited for po’ to take that ass back to summer camp. I can imagine those storage closet potato sack games are all kinds of fun, but you don’t have to premeditate a hommy to get there.

Besides, if King Cobra brings you to the point of poppin niggas, you very well may overshoot your landing and end up on death row. There aren’t any storage closet potato sack games to be played alone in that cell. The best you can do is punch through the wall and manhandle the inmate next to you.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Having an Oz type of week?

I hate you, Uncle Chester! That’s why I had to end this.

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  • geico lizard

    “hey yo you”i dont think this guy has enough money to buy his way out of this so he will have to snitch or do his time like a man like last time.

  • giantstepp

    Man, Ive had some broads piss me off and I wanted to get buck….but you always, ALWAYS loose in that situation. The Po Po and the law aint playin with Niggas on that domestic violence shit, let alone busting your gun when noone is even there. WTF? He made the situation hott. He sohouldve rolled out, sobered up and forgot about it. Busting the gun (at noone mind you) did his drunk ass in.

    • amar

      @ giantstepp: it’s cheaper and safer to just steal all their clothes and run out the house with them, yelling “GOTCHA BITCH” as you do so

      • giantstepp

        Yes Sirrrr! Anything but what he did. You know he’s kicking himself sitting in some country ass jail over some broad! (and liquor)

  • Lowedwn

    Damn somewhere Allen Iverson and Trick Daddy are looking at this nigga mug shot like, “yes, I ain’t THAT nigga anymore”. But for real though, that looks like a man that’s been defeated in Life.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    That 1st paragraph reminded me of when I had to torch a whole fuckin office building because someone jacked me for my Notorious B.I.G. Ready To Die CD. An original issue disc at that, purchased way the fuck back in ’94. I walked into the office to do some business and set my shit on my desk. When I came back from the supply closet with Tina, that shit was missing. I called security and they strip searched everybody, but my disc never came back. About 10 minutes later, I walked out the front door in slow-motion holding a radio control in one hand. As soon as I sat in the Escalade I pushed the button and the whole building blew up, just out of frame. The story ends with me driving my Esky home through the flaming rubble. THE END.

    Like Nas said: “Quiet Niggaz will kill. Loud niggaz talk shit–they be the ones who get killed…”

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • amar

      at least the cops never found out that tina was only 15 at the time. Fucking Tina had us ALL fooled.

      Those goddamn 15 year olds…one day ur daggering them up in a trinidadian club somewhere, the next, ur looking at some akon meets r. kelly type charges and allegations for getting your daggering on.

      Like Big L said “I’ve been fucking chicks in the ass since I was six and a half”

  • Pierzy

    Damn, Lyfe’s head is all type of fucked the fuck up…

  • Worley

    Lyfe I got a plan to get you out of this homie. First, you sign to Grand Hustle. Second, you get TI to pay for and put his lawyers on the case. Third, you forget what a royalty check looks like (if you ever knew).

    Classic words from Moses Deyell: “She wasn’t lying. You were eatin’ that p*ssy like Chicken Chow Mein.”

    • Ron Mexico

      hahahaha! valid escape option! though no one can keep tippy out of prison.

      poor clifford.

      +2 for the chicken chow mein.

  • anutha_level

    sign o’the times man…*shakin head*
    next thing we’ll hear about is eric benet turnin into a serial rapist or some shyt….but umm….he wasn’t REALLY gone off that kobra….WAS he?

    • Ron Mexico

      +2 points for the prince reference.

      he was gone off something. refused sobriety tesses. smelt of that licker on the breath.

      unless they trumped that up on some “let’s sprinkle some crack on him” shit. wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest.

  • DV8

    Damn….second lease on life with more success than most on they first and its all gone. Liquir, Emotions, and Guns are a bad combination.

  • capcobra

    what you expect from a brother named CHESTER JENNINGS….now BIG TINY gon be looking at CHESTER like “AYO YOU”…all this because CHESTER couldn’t take another nigga hitting his baby moms….DAMN.

    • ron mexico

      well when niggas layin hands on family that changes things. even still, there are other ways to handle that involving polices… maybe sending one of your prozac carriers over to “check on things.”

      • capcobra

        lol…nah ron…hitting her like piping her…smashing her…crushing her…beating her…pounding her…you know….it might’ve been one of those prozac carriers…cause how CHESTER know where to look for her at?

        • ron mexico

          sorry. not familiar with your hoodspeak. hahaha.

          thanks for clarifying the confusion.

          sympathy rescinded.

  • kane corleone

    I haven’t seen prince yet sine I moved here,but fuck dude….toledo stand up damn lyfe its a wrap




    wtf is wrong with yall niggas? since when has it been cool 2 laugh at niggas who are locked up? where im from a nigga dont wanna see they worst enemy locked up. this man make great fuckin music. all yall niggas some fuck boys! fuck u too ron!