BLOG: Lil’ Wayne Must Need To Pay His Weed Carriers Better

“The Cash Money star’s assistant, Terry Bourgeois, explained to the judge that marijuana is ‘something we always have’ on Lil Wayne’s tour bus. He went on to reveal the rapper only smokes ‘dro’ and then explained what the name is short for, ie ‘hydroponically grown’ pot. Weezy, all the while, sat with his head in his hands as his assistant dished the news, TMZ reports.” -XXLMag.com via TMZ

I’ve only paid attention to the last couple seasons of Entourage, but dare I ask–would Turtle, E or Drama roll on Vincent Chase like that if he got pinched?

Me thinks that’s why you shouldn’t be fuckin with a nigga named “Bourgeois” any got damn way. As far as I understand, Wayne is on trial for illegal firearms. This assistant pimp is on the stand reading a “Choose Your Own Conviction” book–adding charges and shit.

Court Officer: Please state your full name.

Terry Bourgeois: Terry Bourgeois, sir. But everyone calls me “Bourgie nigga.”

CO: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

TB: I do. I’ll give you more than that because this ain’t even about just the guns. He be doin drugs on that bus and everything.

Judge: That’s enough, Mr. Bourgeois. Counsel, please approach.

Prosecutor: Mr. Bourgeois, Do you remember–

TB: I remember eeeeeverything. This nigga Wayne be havin weed all the time… and he don’t smoke no regular weed. He smoke that shit that’s close to heroin as possible. That’s how he ask for it. He say “go get me the closest shit to heroin as possible.”

Judge: Mr. Bourgeois, mind your language in my courtroom.

TB: I’m sorry, Your Honor. Sometimes I get a little carried away. That’s why Mr. Carter hired me. My enthusiasm, you know? But like I was sayin, Mr. Carter do just like how in the song say.

Lil Wayne: *head in hands* *mumbling* Awww, God.

Prosecutor: Which song are we talking about, Mr. Bourgeois?

TB: All of them, really. But I was talkin’ bout that Duffel Bag one in the beginning where he say “weed and syrup ’til I die. Matter fact it’s gon’ kill me, ‘cuz you ain’t, bitch.”

Defense: Objection! Relevance?

Pros: The lyrics mentioned accentuate Mr. Carter’s lifestyle and propensity for drug use. They’re also aggressive and threatening in nature. It’s like he’s challenging us to stop him.

Def: Your Honor, they’re just adlibs! He’s liable to say anything on his adlibs when he’s gone off that syr–… Umm…

LW: *head in hands* *mumbling* I want my daddayyyyyy.

I am in no way condoning perjury or suggesting that people purjure themselves for shithead rappers. I’m just asking if any of that testimony is necessary? I don’t think the tree and type of dro are the matter at hand. Meanwhile, the defense is trying to get the case tossed on the grounds of unlawful search. Police always say they smell weed on a nigga. As soon as they confirm chocolate man status, they got their excuse ready.

This is what a properly-compensated weed carrier says:

“I was not present for any marijuana use if there was any. I don’t recall smelling any either.”

Not:

“Well, I usually get him a $9,600 dollar bag of Maui Wowie from Mr. Nice Guy when we’re in New York. He asks me to manicure the bag for seeds and stems and once threatened to pistol whip me with one of his many illegal firearms when a seed popped out of his blunt and burned an underaged Nivea on her exposed vagina.”

Accomplished and aspiring Myspace rapper negroes, please listen closely.

Loyalty like that shown above comes at a price clearly below market rate. If you’re riding dirty, the day you get popped will come. I only know because I get popped riding clean regularly and I’m just a regular-ass nigga. On your great day of rapster judgment, the way you’ve treated your handlers and ancillary negroes will either set you free or have you in a courtroom crying for Birdman with your dreads in your lap.

If you break them off with nice tips and shit around holiday time and let them get seconds on your groupies and what not, your carriers reward you in your time of need. If you have your man cop a ribeye steak for you and a #4 at White Castle for himself, you’re setting yourself up for a scenario like the one detailed above. Don’t be surprised when he lifts $7 million worth of jewelry from your bathroom sink or worse.

I’m not saying niggas shouldn’t be happy with whatever they get. I’m just sayin you already know how niggas be.

I can’t help but think about Weezy berating his entire team on stage during a performance shortly after the poppage. When he put douchebag bullets into the back of their heads execution style for all of the hood to see, he kinda sealed his own fate.

Let’s hope nobody wants to lick the rapper when Wang gets to the bing.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Need some suggestions for Doja Day? ron@ronmexicocity.com

Be kind to your dojas and weedcarriers. You may need them to NOT roll on you in court one day.

  • Pierzy

    Yo Mex…

    There’s no place for loyalty in business, apparently. I don’t think Wayne could survive the ‘pen, if only because he wouldn’t have access to any lean.

    What’s more upsetting is that you just recently got into Entourage because seasons 1 and 2 were the highlight of that show!!

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      i really wasn’t into the prospect of watching lifestyle porn.

      i still only watch because of jeremy piven. that’s a true hater. salute that man.

      • Pierzy

        …and the rumors that he’s that much of an ass in real life makes it even better. There’s a story that the dude received a free meal and left a signed Entourage DVD as a tip. I don’t know if that’s gangsta but it’s definitely something…

        • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

          i heard he was cool in real life. guess we’ll never know.

          might gotta ask common.

        • Pierzy

          Yeah, Com’s his boy

        • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

          jp is definitely the living shit and if he’s like that in real life, more power to him.

          arie gold will kick jerry mcguire’s ass any day. Street fight, boxing match or no homos barred ufc contest

          http://www.prettypancakes.com

  • http://xxlmag.com jmill1224

    Damn! Hope he dont get anally raped,lol. I’m not surprised this shit happened, look at that niggas face, listen to the music, that aint all that gremlin smoking and drinkin!
    Good one Ron

    • Lancelot

      Terry, Might be a chick tho -

  • mrkcmo

    Wayne created a total dream world where he is the ruler. I mean, does he really think ANY rapper has that much money that the law won’t reach out and touch him? Same problem with TI really. Hell even Larry Johnson of the Chiefs is on this “shit on the little people” nonsense. You’ve got money now so stop acting like you fell off the back of the trash truck just yesterday.

  • Worley

    “Me thinks that’s why you shouldn’t be fuckin with a nigga named “Bourgeois” any got damn way.”

    That is the exact same thing I thought when I first read about this. How you got a n*gga named Bourgeois on your team?

  • geico lizard

    hey ron whats up with espn suspending jamelle hill when she brought up hitler and they dont suspend lou holtz when he does it? i have a feeling after lil waynes birthday party with the suitcase of cash being shown everywhere alot of people he owes money to will come forward to snitch now that they know he isnt living check to check like he told them he was. if lil wayne was smart and not high 24/7 he would have never chosen nivea over laryn london, wtf, those women arent close in looks at all. nivea looks like a muppet.

  • Simba

    So everyone cool with this Boogie cat tattle-telling cause everybody don’t like Wayne? And don’t act like that this Boogie cat wasn’t hitting the blunt too.

  • 239allday

    Yo what up Mex. These niggas is on some other shit these days. I remember when it used to be cool(months ago) to not cooperate with the law. But this nigga wanted to throw in some trivial shit like the quality of green they burnin. The judge himself was prolly thinkin, damn dude that is too much info!

    Yo weezy, Step your weed carrier game up!!!

  • Bobo D

    Weezy is just being a cheap ass and not getting Union Weedcarriers (UWC), now look whats happened to him.

    UWC is the only way to go, shit Snoop Dogg hasn’t been arrested ever since he got UWC. I even remember reading something about how Snoop’s tourbus got pulled over and the UWC took the arrest, said the weed was his and the rapper had nothing to do with it. Great day for weed smoking rappers.

    I hear there some benifits to joining the Union for Weedcarriers such as:
    Medical, life insurance and your also entitled to the pussy the rapper, the manager and the security won’t fuck with.

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      bwaaaahahahahaha!

      damn, son. sooooo true. snoop has been riding crispy every since.

      UWC, people! not these scab bastids.

  • Og Bobby J

    The unlawful search argument held no validity from jump street…cops word against predator looking rapper word…no brainer.

    If Burger was hitting the el…he could plead the 5th….

    I cant figure out why these “rich” rappers could have a nig on the team for just this purpose…”If some shit pop off…you got no priors….its yours.”

    He shoulda been chilling with “swagga in 3rd grade girl jeans” Jimmy…apparently he burns 1/2 o’s daily and cops are cool with it…just like he is relevant to rap!

    I bet birdman will be hot if his steady piece of ass get put in the buffet line in the bing…

  • Cool Kid

    I’ve only paid attention to the last couple seasons of Entourage, but dare I ask–would Turtle, E or Drama roll on Vincent Chase like that if he got pinched?

    >>Hell no…especially not Drama…He’d fuckin die for Vinny…

  • LEO

    LMAO….HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…THAT’S SOME BITCH ASS NIGGA SHIT RIGHT THERE…”UM NAH…I AINT SEE HIM WITH NO GUNZ…BUT HE ROLLED UP A MEEEEAAAN ONE AND SMOKED IT!!!…AND HE PRETY MUCH DOES THAT SHIT EEERRRDAY!!!” HAHAHAHAHA…SHIT IS CRAZY

    P.S.
    THIS PUTS LIL WAYNE AT THE #1 SEED FOR NEXT YEARS SDN TOURNAMENT LOL…KIDS…SAY NO TO DRUGS AND GUNS…GO GET UR SELF A CORONA…UNO

  • DV8

    funny shit….like I said on the news post about Waynes legal troubles…you are the company you keep…stupid is as stupid does…word to Forrest Gump

  • 1Hunid

    Thats real shit. Hell you can witness that in your local hood, or suburb. You cant expect to treat the ones you call friends *using air quotes* a certain and expect loyalty or let alone respect. Cmonnn! its expected.Thats why I roll soloistic, fuck ah nigga, i dont need no walking witness to anything i do.

  • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

    i dont get it though, didn’t his tour bus get stopped for weed, coke, ex, drank, seamon tablets and who knows wtf else and he’s facing ridiculous drug charges?

    the way i see it, the weed was on the bus, they found that shit. If anything, admitting that it was there will only make them look like honest people and will make the judge more linient.

    I guess saying they ALWAYS have weed ALL THE TIME whenever they’re ANYWHERE wasn’t the smartest thing. But maybe a lil jail time won’t hurt creatively. Worked for tupac.

    http://www.prettypancakes.com

    • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

      although i guess it kinda fucked tupac’s life the fuck up. So um yeah…same difference.

      http://www.prettypancakes.com

  • http://xxl GSIDE

    COULD IT BE THE TICKLE DOWN THEORY BABY AIN’T PAY WANYE SO WANYE CAN’T PAY HIS WEED CARRIER ?

  • Shawty J

    Maybe Weezy should’ve hired me to be his assistant. I don’t even like him that much, and even I wouldn’t have snitched on him. Seriously, How hard was it say:

    “Naw, officer those are daisies he’s growing with that black light. Naw, officer, I didn’t smell anything, no I didn’t see smoke coming from the tour bus. That’s Kool-Aid in the cup, officer. No he’s not hung over office, he was just so busy letting broads lick his ‘Lollipop’ he forgot to go to bed.”

    BTW, hilarious courtroom scene.

  • EReal

    See Wayne shoulda hired me. Pick up my legal fees and 100K to my personal account and I’ll do six months for you. Real Talk.