Is It Daddy Yankee’s Birthday?
I read this article about Daddy Yankee moderating some debate in Mexico, or wherever Puerto Ricans come from, and the following day, no lie, I saw like a dozen Mexicans laid out in the street drunk. The weather has been pretty nice during the day but nighttime has been getting brick. I figured these dudes were all getting twisted because of Daddy Yankee.
The talk has been that Daddy Yankee was getting amnesty for all the day laborers and the delivery men without citizen status. You know how the U.S. likes to keep immigrants always in fear that their ass might get deported or some shit if they get too uppity. Immigrants keep their mouths shut in general because of this. But now, thanks to Daddy Yankee a lot of Mexicans are feeling like they can speak their minds now.
I have fucked with Mexicans for the longest time. They have the best beer – Negro Modelo. They have the best food – bandeja paisa. And they have the hottest broad in the game – America Ferrara. Let’s never forget to speak the names of Daisy Fuentes and Salma Hayek either. For the next presidential election cycle I expect to see a Mexican running for either major party. Maybe this was why the Mexicans were all laid out on the sidewalk. They had O.D.’d while celebrating the notion of their socio-political emancipation. I can definitely relate to that.
It turns out that it was Dia del Cristofo Colom yesterday. So all the Mexicans were getting drunk in honor of that dude. It made sense to me since Mexicans love Spain more than themselves. Fools were tore up from the floor up too. What I will never understand is how Mexicans manage to get so effed the eff up from those tiny little cans of Budweiser. I need about four tall boys of Bud to even feel buzzed. [ll] to drinking tall boys.
The relationship that people have with their colonizers is always interesting to me. The folks in Barbados were British-loving to a fault. People living in the U.K. don’t romanticize their country as much as the Bajans do. Nevermind that these dudes were one of the colonies that Britain disenfranchised early they still love that place liked cooked food. Everyone in school or work there dresses like a goddamned bobby.
I’m glad that Mexicans love Columbus though. No particular reason. Just glad.
* OH SHIT! UPDATE * OH SHIT! UPDATE *
R.I.P. GIDGET GEIN