In love, as in music, Nas can’t win for losing

The plot thickens!

When I did a post here the other day about how Nas may or may not have once received a very special birthday present from Ashley Dupre, the hoo-er that brought down Eliot Spitzer, the one thing that made me think he might not have was that he was out that night with his girlfriend at the time, Kelis.

But then I was informed, by a few of you fruits in the comments section, that this wouldn’t have been an issue, since Kelis herself has been known to eat the box. Which I hadn’t been aware of, but it does seem to make sense if you think about it.

She always did seem kinda awesome!

Normally, I’m at a loss for why a guy like Nas, who has the means to pull an assortment of incredible trim, would even bother getting married.

But if Kelis was actually bringing home other women for Nas to bang, then yeah, that does kinda sound like a no brainer. Not only does she have her own rather considerable check, but she actually gets you stank from other broads.

I can hardly imagine a more ideal spouse.

The only thing is, you have to wonder how much you can trust a woman like that. I mean, if she’s willing to engage in all sorts of kinky sex shit like that when you’re around, who knows what kind of kinky shit she might get into when you’re not around.

It’s a well known fact that all women possess a certain urge to make love to another woman. And who can blame them? It’s just that most women have the self control to refrain from going there, except for when they’re drunk, and they can pretend they’re doing it to get attention from guys.

It probably should have occurred to Nas that, if Kelis has been chewing on carpet to the point where random-ass people on the Internets know about it, she might not necessarily be wife material. But then I think we all know that Nas can be rather oblivious at times.

It’s the reason why he’s got a baby by Carmen Bryan and Jay-Z doesn’t.

Hence, I wasn’t all that surprised to read that there might be a tape out depicting Kelis in bizarre sex acts with a guy who isn’t Nas, and that someone might be trying to sell the tape to Nas for $150,000.

Actually, I didn’t read that it was Kelis in the tape. I just read over on Media Take Out that it was an R&B singer who’s married to a platinum selling rapper.

In fact, I didn’t really think anything of it at the time. But then I went over to Sandra Rose, and I saw a post with a similar headline, and a big-ass picture of Kelis, and I was like, damn. Not the little homey. Again.

Which begs the question: What would you do, if you were Nas, and you were in this situation?

Of course, my natural tendency would be to cut my losses. I’d pay someone to come over and set her shit out on the curb, and I’d be done with her. And then, if anyone asked me about it, I’d be like, “What can I say? You can’t trust these hoes.”

But then you’d still look like a sucker. The other option would be to just give the guy 150 thou and hope no one notices. There’d still be speculation that you got extorted, but no one would no for certain, as long as everyone kept their mouths shut.

So far, it looks like Nas might actually be opting for the latter. Of course, I don’t know whether or not he’s actually paid someone. But he did bring her out on stage with him last night, where he gave her a kiss and explained to the audience how he’s her biggest fan.

As far as I know, that’s not usually a part of his show. Could it be that he’s got something he’s trying to cover up? What do you fruits think?

  • DV8

    Maybe they are swingers or maybe the footage is before they got together. I dont know but if the saying “God’s favorites go through the most tribulations” Then maybe Nas really is GodSon, lol. On the real though, Damn first he does business with Jay-Z and know this? I dont know if I could maintain the relationship if something like that got out about my wife.

  • http://www.myspace.com/uptownempire Trouble

    He was stupid to marry her anyway, that scratch got good to him LOL. But he will pay for it now, if that is Kelis on that video he better pay up, then divorce her ass, shes a liability. But like u said he aint the sharpest tool in the shed so aint no tellin what he gon do.

    • http://XXLMAG.COM INTERNET BULLY

      NIGGA SHUT THE FUCK UP… YOU DICK GRAVY ON DINER ROLL SWABBING ASS NIGGA… YOU MUST LIKE SHARP TOOLS IN YOUR SHED YOU PAYLESS SHOE WEARING STONEWASH DENIM JEAN SPORTING CUM CATCHER… INTERNET BULLY STRIKES AGAIN….LMFAO…

      • fake hair women are ugly

        Someone please start blocking this nigga.

  • LEO

    But then I think we all know that Nas can be rather oblivious at times.

    It’s the reason why he’s got a baby by Carmen Bryan and Jay-Z doesn’t.

    dat shits cooooold soooo cooooooold lol

    eyo…that shit is craaazy!!! I would kick the bitch out…he tatooed the bitch on his arm tho? 50 said so…Nas lost :(

  • akaTheRealist

    Actually, I didn’t read that it was Kelis in the tape. I just read over on Media Take Out that it was an R&B singer who’s married to a platinum selling rapper.

    If Sandra Rose is wrong, it could be Ashanti, and Nelly of course…
    but did they mention what kind of platinum selling rapper? If they said one of mediocre rap skills, it’s definitely not Nas.

  • capcobra

    project niguz love dirty butt bitches with a past…smh.

  • ashbee

    Sounds like a stunt to resurrect either Wendy Willy’s, Nas’s, or Kelis’s career… or all of the above.

  • giantstepp

    “Of course, my natural tendency would be to cut my losses. I’d pay someone to come over and set her shit out on the curb, and I’d be done with her. And then, if anyone asked me about it, I’d be like, “What can I say? You can’t trust these hoes.”

    LMAO!!! You a FOOL for that one BOL! But shit, I’d say the same thing…you got me rolling at work!

  • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

    if kalis brings home chix for them to share and nas is aware of this, why would he give a shit when she cheats on him? it’s already an open relationship at that point.

    furthermore, if nas wanted to marry a hot chick with money who brings home other hot chicks, why would he choose kelis? She’s too bawsy…and her milkshake does little for my new york fry

    http://www.prettypancakes.com

    • LEO

      LMAO

  • Pierzy

    I think NaS should just let the dude take the tape public. In this day and age, who cares? Everybody has a sex tape. Reggie Bush doesn’t seem too worried that Kim Kardashian is on video with Brandy’s excuse for a brother, so why should NaS be worried about a video that (probably) happened before he met Kelis?

    • LEO

      THAT’S THE SHIT THOUGH…IT MIGHT BE THAT IT HAPPENED POST-WIFING HER, AND IF THAT SHIT COME OUT…THAT AINT A GOOD LOOK…THAT’S WHY IT MIGHT BE THAT HE BUYING IT OFF AND TRY TO KEEP IT OUT OF PUBLIC EYE…BUT IF ITS PRE-MARRIAGE…THEN WHO GIVES A FUCK REALLY???

  • EReal

    Damn Bol is on his GAME!

    Nas is a sucker duck for life!!

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Did they mention whether dude on tape was white?

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • LEO

      ????

  • JAPCITY
    • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

      @japcity

      good point

  • og bobby j

    it doesnt matter if it was pre or post wifing…its a wrap…

    imagine you found out your girl was getting tag teamed and everyone knew about it….thats automatic grounds for de-wifing….

    i would, however, smash and do some extensively nasty shit to her before kickin her to the curb….

    nas after it was written….won after ether…and been losing ever since….

    looks like kelis milkshake been bringin madd niggas to her yard…nas need to tell that smut to kick rocks

  • anutha_level

    “I can hardly imagine a more ideal spouse.”
    …got one, and life has been TRULY GOOD to me a few times.

    “if anyone asked me about it, I’d be like, “What can I say? You can’t trust these hoes.”
    …lol, that’s probably the route i’d take if i were him. like you said, who would give a fuck if you looked like a sucker if you can STILL pull bad ass beeeitches anywhere in the world? ex-girl to da next girl, and bitches ain’t shit (and won’t be shit) but ho’s and trix…truest words eva written. he need to ax that blow-queen tho.

  • geico lizard

    nas is wasting his money if he buys the tape because they could have made a copy of it and they will sell him the original and give the copy to tmz and 50 cent. nas has to divorce her now because she should have told him before they got married every person she was on video with even if they said they erased it she should have given nas a heads up. women who get you women and eat other women are perfect girlfriends but they make terrible wives because they will cheat and not consider it cheating until they give you an std and they have to admit they cheated but even then they will flip it on you and say you must have gotten it from a girl and gave it to them.

    • BIGNAT

      MAN HOMIE WHAT STD YOU CAUGHT? SOUNDS LIKE YOU SPEAKING FROM THE HEART

      • og bobby j

        too bad geico dont cover that…

        sound like homie caught that germ….thats what you get fuckin with them hoodrats wit no bag…dummy

      • yoprince

        LMAO.. bignat wildin

    • EReal

      Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww…..

      Geico has issues.

  • me

    what web site am i on redbook! Who cares i guess u gossup girls do my bad!

  • Creflo

    See Bol, I usually like your posts, but don’t turn xxlmag.com into a beauty salon my nigga. What is all this who fucked who shit?

  • the r

    jay-z has a son with one of the big pimpin girls in trinidad

  • http://www.rizzleworld.blogspot.com allnice

    The lil homey Nas is just doing shit that worked in the 50s. Marriage as an legal institution for organization has been abolished for quite some time now. There is absolutely no reason for any dude to marry any bitch. If you do, you are admitting that you are a sucker not concerned with your own self-preservation.

    I am not sure if Nas can do better than Kelis. I think he hit the ceiling as far as attractive women go. He doesn’t have what it takes to bag a high class bitch. I can’t believe that Nas bagged Ashley Dupre because he is such a sucker. Even if he did hit it, he probably paid for it which means he is just some trick nigga.

    But most rappers except for Biggie, Ice T, Kool G Rap, and Too Short fall into the category of lame trick niggaz. In fact, most rappers can’t pull even a decent looking chick without having to spend all their cash.

    • valdez

      ice t tricked off with superhead, dumbass.

  • e20

    Listen to yall bitches. Like every girl yall get with are virgins. Bol you don’t even want to know all the stuff that I probably did to your future wife or girlfriend (if you can get one, I don’t think you can and thats why you are always bitter and calling people gay in your blogs).

    Bol Your blogs…….you turning into a faggot superhead Bol? always talking about who’s fucking who is gay Bol, and no one cares about your fantasies of what you would do if you were Nas.

    I thought this was a hiphop site. IS this XXL or Hip Hop weekly?

    • http://www.xxlmag.com damion

      Church ……E20 you said it best. Mr. Crawford is a little fruity and hating on Nas cuz he got a hot wife. Dude wants to be Nas so he can smash Kelis.

      ****BOL IT WON’T HAPPEN – KEEP SMASHING YOUR RIGHT HAND *****

  • Smel

    From the snippets of gossip I’ve heard over the years, it’s clear that Nas & Kelis are swingers.

    In fact, one of the rumors was about her being acquitted (after a long trial), of solicitation after she tried to procure a prostitute for herself & Nas (Nas was driving).

    This should be a matter of public record, but of course I’ve never made any attempts to verify this, lazy bastard that I am. Plus, the rumor’s just too juicy to be disputed.

    That said, I think Nas already knows about this sexcapade, and possibly the video too. So all he risks is the humiliation of people finding out about he and his wife’s alternative lifestyle. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t care about that.

    New Nas song: “I’m a swinga, she’s a swinga, he’s a swinga, they some swingas / wouldn’t you like to be a swinga too?”

    • fake hair women are ugly

      what are you, a white guy from hollywood working for TMZ?

      • Smel

        lol definitely not.

        Just sadly addicted to celebrity gossip…