I’m bringing classy back

People here in St. Louis are famous for asking one another where they went to high school.

It used to be that it was just a convenient way to find out whether or not someone grew up in poverty. If someone said a place that sounded like it was a little bit too far north, or a little bit too far south, you might wanna take your wallet out of your back pocket and put it in your front pocket.

Not that people from the Hazelwood district are known to steal shit. It’s just, you wanna keep the honest one’s honest.

Of course, there’s also a sexual element to St. Louis’ nasty, racist social stratification. I remember back when I got to be the age when I was ready to start hollering at a beeyotch, dudes would advise me to keep it right within the central corridor. Chicks from North County, where a lot of black people live, are likely to have a disease, and chicks from South Country, where a lot of white people live, will get pregnant even if you look at them the wrong way. St. Charles (an area to the immediate northwest of here, where St. Louis keeps a lot of its best and brightest) is obviously out of the question altogether.

As it turns out, this was probably some of that advice that’s actually true, even though your high school Health and Human Development teacher would never cop to it, lest she fuck around and get fired. Just like the fact that it’s way more difficult to spread AIDS from a girl to a guy through regular intercourse. Which is why most guys you see with AIDS are secretly, if not obviously, teh ghey, while so many straight women keep coming down with it. (Note: I’m not offering this as advice to anyone’s kids, nor am I allowed to, legally. I’m just saying. I once saw an episode of Dateline where a girl had AIDS and her boyfriend didn’t, they never used rubbers, and he never got infected. The guy asked him if he was afraid of getting AIDS, and he was like, “Dude, everyone knows it’s way harder to pass AIDS from a girl to a guy.”)

I was checking America’s finest news source, The Onion Media Take Out just now, and I saw there was a story about an HIV outbreak at a high school, where as many as 50 kids were suspected of being infected, and the entire school might be tested, and I thought to myself, “Please, Lord, don’t let this be in St. Louis.” Of course, not only was it in St. Louis, but it was also at a school in North County – Normandy High School, in the same school district where, because he didn’t pay enough attention in college, my little brother is an elementary school teacher.

I was actually over that way the other day, when I took my epic, harrowing trip into the ghetto to pick up a ten dollar bill. To think, I could have played hide the salami with a broad while I was there and ended up with VD in 3D. It’s a good thing I know better!

They say this panic stemmed from a routine HIV diagnosis, which led to an investigation into Normandy High School. At first, they were saying that “some” students might have been infected, and they sent kids home with a note. Just like that time when an emo girl called in a bomb threat at my own high school. Then, yesterday, another report came out saying that they’d increased their estimate to as many as 50 kids. Which is when the shit really hit the fan, i.e. Media Take Out.

Now, the Department of Health is gonna open up an entire substation right there in the school, where kids can go to get tested, if they think they might have AIDS. Presumably, this is gonna be on a voluntary basis. And you wonder what the privacy consideration is gonna be, since you’d have to think that any broad that takes time out of her day in high school to go check and see if she’s got AIDS is obviously a hoo-er. If I went to that school, I’d check to see who was in that hallway from time to time, just to get an idea of where the threat lies.

Furthermore, I’d say that, if there’s a lesson to be learned here for us guys, it’s that you might not have much in the way of class yourself, but your dick should. If you’re thinking about banging a broad, find out where she grew up and what that part of town looks like. And if it’s not particularly nice, you might want to take extra precautions to make sure that she doesn’t have AIDS, and that she’s not trying to use you to get pregnant. I know it sounds harsh, but keep in mind that a lot of the shit they teach you in high school is purposely skewed to be politically correct. You don’t want to fuck around and get caught out there just to save someone’s feelings.

  • sealsaa

    You got a link supporting this story?

  • http://yahoo.com sealsaa

    You got a link or something supporting this story?

  • Ceehawk

    damn Bol, you did it again… harsh as it may be, you do have to question just how people get into the trouble they have… well, heres hopin those kids are ok and that before they get out there tryna okie-doke each other, they know who theyr dealin with.

  • http://xxlmag.com jmill1224

    I guess the football coach wondered why the team was always early to practice and no rush to leave!lol

    good post bol

  • Pierzy

    Is this XXL or WebMD?

  • Matt Herbz

    “Virgins…I love ‘em. No diseases. No loose as a goose pussy. No skank; no nothing. Just pure pleasure…”

    That’s what them dumb lil niggaz get for fucking all the same women. I hardly ever fuck the same woman twice, but in the event that I’d like to smash em for a few days, I don’t let em leave the house. You come in pure, you get done up by Papa Herbz for few days while enjoying the amenities at my 5,000 square foot Marietta mansion, and then when I’m done with ya, you can leave with the pleasure of knowing you’ll NEVER have sex so good again. I got my own personal doctor to do blood tests on my women right there in my foyer. You don’t even get to see the vaulted ceiling in the living room if you test negative. I run ‘em off like stray dogs.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • WesGibson

    Sadly there is a racial correlation. I hope you don’t read this comment Bol, lest it affirm your midwestern addiction to chasing the future soccer moms of America around the arch, but sadly there is a strong scientific correlation that indicates blacks are more succeptible to Aids than whites.

    Apparently, we have competing mutations that happen to affect the success rates of HIV viral infections. Due to mutations during the bubonic plague, 10% of european descendants are immune to HIV

    http://www.innovations-report.com/html/reports/life_sciences/report-41566.html

    See, also discussion of delta 32 in final paragraph (http://www.pbs.org/wnet/secrets/previous_seasons/case_plague/index.html).

    Further, due to mutations related to Malaria, african descendents are up to 40% more likely to contract the HIV: http://articles.latimes.com/2008/jul/17/science/sci-hiv17

    So as poverty is correlated with race, especially in places like st. louis… I’ll let you do the math.

    Hope this doesn’t justify your abiding love of Eliot Spitzers who-are.

    Wes

  • Roxx Alott

    jesus. preach my nigga… i dont alweays fukk with your blog, but when you on point, your really on point. same shit on the east coast of VA

  • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

    yeah i heard about that on cnn a week ago…and they were reporting that it was a big debate about whether these test sites should be allowed. I think ppl were saying it’s immoral, and not christian to test kids or some shit. Whackos.

    Anyway, I heard the risk is like less than 1 in 1000 or something if u use a condom and for sure the person ur doing has it and u both definitely have cuts and shit. Those are some odds man…yet ppl still do it unprotected…some shit i’ll never understand

    http://www.prettypancakes.com

  • og bobby j

    always bag it….unless your drunk…then its legit.

  • ri067953

    Yo Bol, you hit the nail on the head with this one. I used to go out with this chick out here in L.A., near Koreatown which isn’t the best area. Before I hit that, I made sure that she went to the clinic to get that HIV test. I wouldn’t bang her out unless she got the test first.

  • http://myspace.com/marko4aoc Marko-V

    Word. I work wit 2 girls that go to Normandy and let me tell you, they are superbad, and after I found out about that AIDS ish goin down at they school I point em out everytime I c em. I used to tell myself yo, when they graduate I’m a smash. Now I just tell myself to keep it movin cuz ain’t no tellin how many niggaz they fucked. It’s wild Bol. And they sayin that other schools cudve been infected cuz of the promiscuity of those who already got the virus. Think about it. This is high school. We not talkin about grown people here. These are lil kids man, runnin wild and spreadin some killer disease because they don’t have a clue. The times have definitely changed.
    Get at me: myspace.com/marko4aoc

  • BIGNAT

    BOL YOU A FOOL NO MATTER WHERE A CHICK COMES FROM I AM WEARING A CONDOM EVERYTIME. SHIT THEY DON’T KNOW ABOUT CONDOMS IN ST LOUIS. YOU GUYS DIDN’T GET SEX ED WE GOT THAT SHIT IN 7TH GRADE IN NYC.

  • geico lizard

    hey matt maybe the pussy isnt loose as goose maybe you just have a small vienna sausage dick. i didnt know you heard about this already Bol i posted a link at the other spot.

    • eddieSIXES

      somebody aint seen “Kids”

  • http://www.rizzleworld.blogspot.com allnice

    It’s real easy to get pussy nowadays so you gotta watch your johnson by having very, very high standards. For example, I only fuck fine white or asian girls who speak 2 languages, graduated from a 4 year college (not the community college shit), work a steady job or own a company, and who live in a relatively wealthy area or her parents got money. That way I keep my dick extra safe. The condom is pretty much the icing on the top—the last line of defense.

    Black women got HIV because they don’t have any gadar and mad prison niggaz are homo on the low. These hoes throw themselves at any diesel or fashion swag nigga, but if a nigga working out that hard and caring about his swagger too much, the nigga is the ghey.

    Any nigga in his right mind is not having sex with black women. Furthermore, wasn’t there some article a few months back about how 50% of teenage bitches got a STD? I feel sorry for these little young bastards because these hoes are filthy. There is no way I’m having sex with a bitch younger than 22.

    Basically, women need to be taught to take care of their pussy properly and stop fucking these ghey niggaz. I know pussy ain’t worth jack shit in 2008 so they are giving it away for free, but they need to relax and take care of themselves.

  • anutha_level

    sheeeid…back in the day (circa 94-98), i had chlamydia like 6 times man…4 of the times it was from the same bitch! lol…that bitch had some good stank-stank tho, i won’t front. i REFUSED to wrap it up (weed/seagram’s gin). i got lucky man for sure….cats these days are killin ho’s and killin themselves wit all this DL shit. these days i only try to hit 40+ yr old ho’z wit a hysterectomy and 3-4 kids. fuck looks! i’m all about dem guts!!!!!