BLOG: Wifey Bracket Revealed In The Baddest Chick In The Game Tournament

First off, I’d like to thank all of you for submitting your personal nominations for the Baddest Chick In The Game Tournament.

Upon receipt, I got right to work and filed nominees in their respective brackets before getting started on the most coveted category, WIFEY. You guys suggested 25 potential wifeys, so with help from some of XXL’s staffers and bloggers, we narrowed the field down. The panelists were Tha Office staple, Rob The Music Editor, Scratch Blogger Gooch, Negro Please Blogger Ron Mexico, Block On Lock Blogger Billy X. Sunday, the site’s Editorial director J-Rod, Associate Photo Editor (and the man with the best iTunes in the office) Mike D and myself.


Zoe Saldana…

Any chick who didn’t make it onto the Wifey bracket automatically became eligible for the Jump Off bracket. In the end, Keyshia Cole, Keisha Knight Pulliam, Ashanti, Zoe Saldana, Maia Campbell, Latoya Luckett, Kelly Rowland and Vanessa Simmons didn’t make it and the no.1 seed came down to a showdown between Alicia Keys and Beyonce. Here’s how the discussion went down.

[Panelists Study All 25 Nominees]

Rob The Music Editor: Vanessa Simmons?!? Are we for real? Rihanna aka Bonk’s Great Adventure?!? Hell nah!

Mike D: I reluctantly keep Jessica Biel in there, but I don’t think she’s wifey status at all. And Beyonce sucks, I say she gets removed with emphasis on the cardboard public persona she has made for herself so she can do L’Oreal ads. If Alicia Keys doesn’t win it’s a damn shame.

Jackpot:
Damn, Mike! If Jessica Biel isn’t wifey, then what is she?

Mike D: A lotta time in the gym and some bad collagen injections.


Jessica Biel…

Billy X. Sunday: She is MILF status fam. You still want Jessica Biel on your resume, fuck. I still want Phoebe Cates on my resume, but I am so old school.

J-Rod: Ha! She don’t even have a kid! She can’t be Milf bracket. She’s J.O. status. Come to the crib late night. And don’t tell anyone.

BXS: I thought that broad was prego last year? But hold on, you say J.O. status?  Nahh fam! Sneaking her thru the crib would be keeping her on Invisible Girl status. I WANT fools to know I smashed that.

J-Rod: Lmao!

Jackpot: Chuch! Tabarnacle, Preach! I’d blog about it and send email blasts.


Mya…

BXS: I just seen a pic of MYA and that ass is right. Mya > Maia >>>> M.I.A. But I would still have to beat M.I.A. yelling out S.L.U.

Mike D: Oh shit, yes big big cosign for Mya!!!   She can have Jess Biel’s spot.

Jackpot: Mya has had tons of nominations for the jump off. She’ll prolly end up in that bracket. You don’t wanna wife a chick who will be “riding riding” by yo job, crib and yo momma house. Jump off she is. But I’ll tell everybody anyway I beat.

Mike D: Couldn’t disagree more, all them hussies you got on the Wifey list could easily slide to jump offs!  Mya is premium goods.

Jackpot: It’s more like damaged goods, Mike. She went to the Ozone Awards.

BXS: If this was pre-2000 then Mya would still be wifey stat.  I feel like too many industry cats have already hit that.  Quiet as its kept your boy at MTV fingerbanged her at the TRL Christmas party in 2003. Yeah! I still need to smash Jessica Biel tho’ because I had the massive Fantastic Four comic collection back in the day.

Jackpot: By the way Billy. We’re talking about Jessica Biel. It sounds like you may have her confused with Alba aka Sue Storm in those two horrible movies.

BXS: Damn Jackpot, you ain’t lie I’m all fucked up now. Jessica Biel do karate and kung fu shit don’t she?  Yeah, I would hit that too.  Jessica Alba is def primo MILF snatch.I still say your boy fingerbanged Mya.

Rob The Music Ed: Mya fucked Shyheim the rugged child- that automatically excludes her from the wife bracket!

Mike D: I rescind my Mya nomination.  I have been schooled.

Ron Mexico: Cassie and so fuckin goode like I’m sleepin wit Megan were excluded for being jumps. Mean jumps, but jumps no less. Keyshia Cole is the ideal project wifey. She even got a Frankie. Perfect! Rudy has held together but nah, son. Maia ain’t been in the house in 10 years. Ashley is past due too. Nelly gets negro please of the young millenium for passing on Kelly Rowland for Ashanti’s chipmunk ass. All the rest of these girls can come in through the front door.

Gooch: Megan Fox is a jump off, i’m sorry. So is Nicole Sherzinger, ask Jimmy Iovine.

[Panelists Deliberate And Reveal Brackets]

1. Beyonce

2. Alicia Keys

3. Christina Millian

4. Paula Patton

5. Lauren London

6. Meagan Good

7. Kerri Washington

8. Joy Bryant

9. Dania Ramirez

10. Ciara

11. Cassie

12. Jessica Biel

13. Nicole Sherzinger

14. Rihanna

15. Keri Hilson

16. Megan Fox


Alicia Keys…

Mike D: A.Keys is the #1 seed, if it really came down to it and both wanted to be the wifey which one would you pick, the soulful Ms. Keys or fake ass Beyonce?? And with all due disrespect, Rihanna should be #16

Jackpot: I think I may have to go with Beyonce, though. She said she can cater to me. Alicia may be try to mess with my side pieces.

Rob The Music Ed: I love Alicia and think she is the best thing on earth- FUCK SNAPPLE! But Beyonce rightfully earned her number 1 spot. I’m faithful to my Boo A.Keys but truth is truth!

J-Rod: Beyonce. Her new video. Period.

Mike D: Beyonce is the Queen of all Jump offs!  You wanna hang out with her after you smash?  Talk about Dereon? She is a jump off hands down. The only reason the public and you guys give her wifey status is cause Jay bagged her.

Jackpot: Probably don’t want to talk Dereon. I wanna sneak out, hang with my buddies and tell them how good my wifey is.

Ron Mexico: Millian is too high. Rihanna and Kerry Washington is too low.

Gooch: Alicia probably got hairy arms. Fuck her!

Jackpot: I would love to.

Gooch: Matter fact, move A. Keys down, move Shwarzenegger up, move Jessica Beil up, move Ciara up.

Rob The Music Ed: Nah Gooch! You buggin! Nicole Schwnzinger (or however the fuck u spell that shit) be looking manish at times. I’m pretty sure she ain’t Jamie Lee Curtis or nothing, and I’d still beat, but she do be looking MAN-ISH in the wrong light.

What do you guys think? Did we forget about somebody? Should somebody be lower, higher? Talk to me.

Make sure to tune in next week as we reveal the Jump Off bracket.

  • Omar

    I know it’s not possible but AK and Beyonce need to be in 2 separate brackets, y’all having the National title game in the Elite 8.

  • ryan

    how did yall forget gabrielle union n sanaa lathan n mya. yall said wifey bracket not jumpoff dis week. shit they may be a little older but dam they still kill the gurls on dis list. Maybe not kill alicia keys but the rest 4 sho. take off 1,3,4,5,6,10,11,13,14,16 n yall got a list. n how alicia keys aint win yall retarded yo.

    • http://1290wmcs.com “The Party Killa”

      Those have to be in the MILF bracket….Probably #2 & #3 respectfully after Halle B.

      • Worley

        Sanaa Lathan and Serena Williams had better appear somewhere and not with jumpoffs like Keyshia Cole. Otherwise this sh*t is a joke.

        Alicia Keys or Lauren London got this. I would vote Kerry Washington but those teeth look like they would hurt my Willie. I can’t have that on a nightly basis.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Damn yo, this might be a better one than the last one. Personally, I think it should be a run-off between Meagan Goode, Alicia, Mya, Stacey Dash, and um…oh, are those Simmons girls of age yet? Angela and Vannessa? Yeah, them two, as well…

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • http://andtheyloveit.blogspot.com Ciera

      Stacey Dash!!! You are correct she needs to be up there. Or she should be number one for the over 35 bracket or something.

  • ProCon

    Zoe Saldana should be on this list over Megan Goode. She is J.O. material for sure. And I think you may need to move Biel up the list because right now she is looking like a dark horse candidate to move far thru this bracket.

  • thumper

    wheres the actual bracket?

  • http://1290wmcs.com “The Party Killa”

    Some the women that U all are naming above^^^^ Should be in the MILF category, they all got kids & R 30 +

  • yoprince

    how is a. keys not in the jump off bracket?? this broad is clearly bi and fucks married men for tracks… and she supposed to be wifey??

    cassie gotta be jump-off too! she been diddy’s jump-off goin on what, 2 years now??

  • http://kirk-francosmodernlife.blogspot.com/ kirk

    Have you seen that single ladies video? Beyonce is max creez. I feel you on the soul but she got that too she just know how to get a check better than anyone else and nothing is wrong with that.

  • The_Truth

    **HALLE-BERRY-IS-OVERRATED! I’d take Megan Good over Halle. . .Boomerang was the last time she was seen with a black man. (1992!)

    • OG Matt Herbz

      There ain’t a damn thing wrong with that, either. I fucked with Halle right after “Swordfish”–I had to see if them jugs look as delish’ in person as they did on the screen….and THEY DO.

      She’s a straight milf, though, now…got a kid with a white dude.

      –OG Matt Herbz–

  • http://Stsavoy@yahoo.com SDUB-google-me

    How in the Hell could yall leave off a tru “WIFEY” Roselyn Sanchez of Rush Hour Fame? I’d take her over Ciara/Rianna any day. I demand a damn recount! If you don’t think so please google her or go rent “Boat Trip”. The bannana seen alone puts her in the top 5 dead or alive.

    • Arcey

      … go rent “Boat Trip”. The bannana seen alone puts her in the top 5 dead or alive

      co-sign that!!!

  • Ab

    Hilarity …

    Mike D: Beyonce is the Queen of all Jump offs! You wanna hang out with her after you smash? Talk about Dereon?

    HAHAHAHAHA

    By the way what happened to Rosario … Jackpot …
    Shame on you

  • http://www.xxlmag.com jackpot

    Damn, Ab. We’re gonna have to revisit this one. Good catch.

  • sealsaa

    How the hell is Megan Good’s funny looking mouth having ass above Dania ramirez?

  • avon

    DA FUCK NU-NU DOING HIGHER THAN MEAGAN GOOD AND JOY BRYANT P.S. YALL BASTARDS SHOULD HAVE PUT ZOE SALDANA IN THE WIFEY BRACKET AND YOU KNOW IT

  • sealsaa

    AND Joy Bryant?! Above Dania Ramirez? I demand a recount! What’s up with the funny looking chicks?

  • TheCo!!inB

    no Tracy Ellis Ross….all you niggas lost. Shorty is funny, feminine and thick as wet flour……you homos shoulda nominated eachother after leaving her out (no disrespect)

    • Omar

      1 out of 3 ain’t terrible?

  • 407

    Dania Ramirez is easily top 5
    Beyonce is ill overrated by the way just being honest.

  • http://MYSPACE.COM/1DJALLDAY DJ ALL DAY

    YO PROPS 2 MY DUDE SDUB I FEEL U ON THAT SON ROSELYN SANCHEZ IS A BAD BITCH DEFINITLY WIFEY MATERIAL THA BANNANA SCENE AND THA ORANGE TREE LMAO FUCK CUBA GOODIN I WISH THAT WAZ ME PIPING THA SHYT OUT OF THAT GOOD GOOD!!!…..LAUREN LONDON I WOULD HAVE 2 TAKE THOU AS MY NUMBER 1 JUS MY OPINION…..

  • 548

    keira knightley, tina fey,christina applegate, pamela anderson (she’s an og and you know she’s dynamite in the sack.

  • killa gorilla

    SANAA LATHAN??? she’s gotta be top 5!

  • 404Beaner

    There’s nothing being mentioned about the Cougars which is where Sanaa Lathan belongs but no Gabrielle Union because that’s an NBA,NFL,and MLB jumpoff. And why not throw in a Chubby chick category with Grissette Michele, and Jill Scott,Tasha Scott, or the chick from Road Trip, hell throw Oprah in there too!

  • Mikey F Baby

    Uhh, more white girls needed.

    Keira Knightley, Teagan Presley, Leighton Meester

    • stevie b

      I have to co-sign keira knightley is gorgeous and yo why is Scarlett Johanssen not on this list she is at least top 10

  • 404Beaner

    Oh so ya’ll ain’t posting my chunky girl suggestion. OPRAH’S A FOX!! I don’t have to hit it just make me a beneficiary.

  • 404Beaner

    There’s nothing being mentioned about the Cougars which is where Sanaa Lathan belongs but no Gabrielle Union because that’s an NBA,NFL,and MLB jumpoff. And why not throw in a Chubby chick category with Grissette Michele, and Jill Scott,Tasha Scott, or the chick from Road Trip, hell throw Oprah in there too!!

  • MDAce15

    I gotta co-sign a few peoples comments:

    Traci Ellis Ross is Swwwweet (Thick as wet flour…Lol! Classic.)
    Rosyln Sanchez in Rush Hour 2… Wow.
    Meagan Goode and C.Milian should be J.O.’s
    Where is Gabrielle Union? (Sexy and Classy)
    Nicole Sherzingfelderstein is not top 20.
    Keri Washington is flyer than a piece of paper and flyer than C. Milian.

    But hey everybody on the list could get it in a NY Minute…

  • http://andtheyloveit.blogspot.com Ciera

    Alicia Keys is perfection to me. She has all the things needed to be wifey status.
    For pure hotness my other fav is Cassie!
    My issue with Ciara is she looks different from every angle! And she wears too many wigs like Beyowulf! Hah!
    I do understand why B is #1 though. She is the standard “picture perfect” and she is Queen B.
    No one like Solange? I thinks she’s lovely, but she dresses kinda crazy. I’d probably dress crazy too though if I was Beyonce’s sister…

  • mazemayhim

    No Rosario Dawson????!!!!!!! Phuck dat! Rosario Dawson is wifey status, point-blank period!

    • http://aldskjf.com MARCY

      cosign-u see her in Alexader?

  • T.R.Boi Wonder

    Why the hell is New New ranked so low? Why is Cassie on the wifey list? Where is Roselyn Sanchez?

  • sealsaa

    Keri Hilson and Dania Ramirez should be in the top 5, EASY. They’re both better than Beyonce. Alicia Keys has a cute face and a nice onion, but I wish I had two more hands so I could give them titties 4 THUMBS DOWN!!! Them shits look like two wet socks on a towel rack. Just saying…

    • wtf

      Nigga fuck your hating ass….pause dont talk shit about my bitch

  • http://www.myspace.com/idiq aim_shoot_made_u_look

    AK ALL DAY…top 100 list too short

  • http://alkdjf.com MARCY

    MEAGAN FOX-hottest girl/wifey/jump off EVER

  • SW PHILLY

    FUCK THAT! LMAO. Back in the day hell yeah i woulda smashed the hell outta Jamie Lee Curtis. The scene in “Trading Places” or “True Lies”? Yall muhfucs’ is trippin’. Yes I said Back in the day……

  • droopey

    The bomboclaat!! Keri Hilson to de number 1 spot!

  • sealsaa

    I want to see MYA naked. But fuck’in naked. Not even sock lint in-between her toes, just NEKKKID.

  • azboy

    wut about eve mendes?

  • avon

    WHAT ABOUT THE WHICK CHICK FROM THAT CW SITCOM THE GAME DID YALL SEE THAT BROAD ABS AND THEM LEGS I’LL HIT THAT CHICK FROM THE BACK WEARING A OBAMA MASK WITH A CAMERA WIRED TO CNN OH YEAH HER NAME IS BRITTANY DANIEL

  • Oneofthemyo’s

    Where the fuck is KENYA MOORE,how the fuck is gabrielle union not on the wifey list plus malinda williams, its a lot bitches out there that knock chicks like rhianna,ciara,cassie and nicole zeesherminator off that list….its left field but….for my white bitch wifey pick gotta nominate charlize theron.

    I aint really into gossip but who fingerbanged mya I need to know where to point this hateration/admiration at.

    • Oneofthemyo’s

      And 2 put a lil hate into this for the wanna be hood rat hoes and the niggas that love them….lauren london is fucking over rated so is c.milian….ciara…..meagan goode got a great body and ok face all cassie got IS face dont get me wrong they all very beatable but these bitches to be praised errrywhere like that is wrong…no hate for those women or whatever but some of yall niggas need 2 travel outside of america b4 yall call some of these chicks dimes……..I’m just saying though get your passport game up

  • http://www.justice.gov.za Chiliz

    How cum ya’ll exclude my gal Jessica Alba she definately needs 2 b’way high on that list.

    Props 4 putting Paula Patton ,what a dime seen her on mirrors movie & ‘ven’t stop looking.

    AK used 2 b’ my numba’ 1 but those gay-ass swizzbeats rumours kinda put me off. If he did banged her she fell off my list.
    Beyonce is thick but 2 borin’ .She needs sum1 u can lift up her personality ya dig .

  • Peru (Chicago)

    Ya’ll need to add Rosario Dawson, Roselyn Sanchez, and Tia/Tamara Mowry!!!!!

  • pr0f3ssor

    where is eva mendes?