“Got the baddest chick in the game wearing my chain” Jay-Z, “Public Service Announcement”, Black Album (2003)
First off, I’d like to congratulate one Robert Kelly for winning Negro Please’s 1st Annual SDN (Smart Dumb Nigga) Tournament.
Dude faced tough opponents every round and edged out hip-hop blogul Puff Diddy in the finals. That’s no small feat. Anyway, we’re far from done, kids. XXL users love them some Eye Candy, so that’s exactly what we plan on giving them. Up next, the Baddest Chick In The Game tournament. Our sister publication, King Magazine, recently dubbed Halle Berry the B.O.A.T (Baddest Of All Time) while Hov has long boasted about dating “the baddest chick in the game,” Beyonce. Does that mean Halle is badder than Beyonce? I’m sure plenty beg to differ. And plenty of dimes deserve a shot at the title.
So, we’re kicking off the tournament by accepting nominations. There will be 64 contestants ala March Madness divided in four sub-brackets, Cougars, MILFS, Wifeys and Jump Offs. Here are the guidelines.
-All contestants must be at least 21-years of age.
-All contestants must be alive. Example, Lisa “Left Eye” Lopez and Aaliyah, God bless their souls, may not be submitted into the tournament.
-Seeding for all sub-brackets will be determined by XXL staffers and bloggers with consideration from user suggestions.
*The strongest characteristic always wins.
*Jump Off is only a working title. Perhaps we can brainstorm on a more flattering one.
Now, for the bracketology…
The COUGAR bracket: Cougars must be at least 35 years old with no kids. Example: Janet Jackson (allegedly), Free (formerly of 106 & Park), Mariah Carey and Vivica A. Fox’s crazy ass, are all legitimate cougars. A cougar can also be a wifey and a jump off, but cannot be a milf. *Should an overly active cougar be nominated, she’ll fall into the jump off category.
The MILF (Mom I’d Like To F*ck) bracket: All mothers regardless of age fall into the MILF sub-bracket by default. As always, there’s an exception to the rule. *Should a mom been f*cked one too many times, she then falls into the JUMP Off category. Example: Karrine “Superhead” Steffans” is known as a jump first, mother fourth. Mel B., on the other hand, is a certified MILF.
The WIFEY bracket: Marriage material chicks under 35 with no kids. Example: Lauren London, Alicia Keys and Beyonce are wifey types.
The JUMP OFF bracket: Simply put, you don’t wanna wife em. You just want to beat so you can tell your friends about it. Example: Kim Kardashian is a jump off.
Now, please nominate your bad chick along with a suggested seed and bracket. Let the nominations begin and may the baddest chick win…Also feel free to email your nominations at firstname.lastname@example.org