So here I was at this Obama rally party thrown by the Sauce mag and Hu$tle $immon$ (the real one) and who taps my shoulder but the homey Jackpot who reminds me that I am behind in my drops here at the X spot. Say what you want about dude, but even when fools is in party mode he still has work on his mind. So here I am getting back at y’all now that I am back in my parent’s basement.
One thing I can say is that Harris Publ. throws better parties than the Sauce. I went to a King mag jumpoff last week and it was in a fly little spot featuring art and free cognac. Sauce’s joint was all crowded with D-list Hip-Hop glitterati like Ice T and his buxom broad, plus Lil’ Bow Wow. Sonn claims he is 21. I laughed knowing damn well his ass is 35. Bow Wow got that shit the nigga Webster had where you stop growing at 8 yrs old. The free hooch at the Sauce party was that bullshit Nuvo. I know I threw that shit under the bus before, but when it is free I go in crazy.
The chicks at the Sauce party were actually friendlier than the birds at the Harris party. I think that is because the Sauce staffers are mosty hoodrats who like to have a good time while the chicks that work at King magazine are mostly men-haters. Not all of them, but most of them. Who can blame them though. Every month they have to photoshop the skidmarks from off some chick’s asscrack. King magazine is actually the classy Black ass newsstand rag. Some of the shit I see needs to be sitting on the shelf in a brown paper bag. Maxim and FHM never make their covers look so damn scandalous.
The sauce joint last night is part of this push that Obama supporters have been on to get people to come out and vote for this dude next Tuesday. I decided a few weeks ago that I would vote for Obama instead of Cynthia McKinney and I am still on the bandwagon although all this hype makes me a little suspect. Especially when Hu$tle $immon$ is so embedded in the movement. I need to stop hating on dude like that, but I swear I smell some fishy shit when he puts his hands on something. I made the night work for me as I established some contacts. Who knew bitches were into this political shit so heavy right now?
My advice to you humps that have a hard time sidling up to some tender sexy need to get familiar with the politricks. Tell some broad you are doing community organizing on the internets and you might could get yourself a date or some shit. I kissed a few chicks on the mouth behind that bullshit and if it worked for me then one of you meatbags should have enough game to get a score from it. the other fly shit about the Sauce party were the free magazines. The Sauce has some dope content in their latest issue but the mag looks damn near homemade. They were using stock pics for their articles that you find on the internets. Ha. Sauce failed on the quality of the paper as well.
XXL is still the top Hip-Hop mag on the newsstand and the pricepoint is also better than the Sauce. XXL costs me $3 on Court Street in Brooklyn while the Sauce is posted up at $5. Both mags keep it fairly edgy as far as their content is concerned. XXL is of course a little more mainstream, but both mags are the equivalent of commercial radio in print form. XXL broadcasts with more megahertz. The Sauce is back on some college radio shit. After I left the Sauce party I went to this James Brown x Fela Kuti shit to rub up on some patchouli chicks. Now it’s 5 in the morning and I am back home.
If you want to party as hardbody as your boy Billy X. Sunday you gonna need to copp you a bottle of caffeine pills.