XXL Mag Dot Com family,
Don’t ever, ever, ever get a drug addiction, or an alcohol addiction, or a gambling addiction, or a motherfucking sneaker addiction. Your boy Billy X. Sunday has that grand slam and I ain’t talking about Wimbledon either. Shout to R-Fed and my brawlic baby mama She-Hulk for pwning the competition at the U.S. Open
Tennis is some sexy shit that you go to see with a white chick on your arm. Plus, if you are a Black man and into tennis then you more than likely don’t have a moustache. Those are the negroes that eff with tennis matches. I could see Jay-Z hanging out at the U.S. Open wearing some ridiculous yachting outfit. Regular Black dudes like myself (read: poor addicts) are into tennis shoes, but the game of tennis not so much.
The most Hip-Hop sport on the planet is football. Even more than basketball since all these NBA players are now from Serbia and Lithuania and China?!? NFL players are from the ‘hood and they gets arrested on the regulack and sometimes they even gets merc’ked and sometimes they merc’ks they baby mamas like Rae Carruth did that time. What is more Hip-Hop than being killed violently or doing the same to someone else? That is why football is so damn Hip-Hop and that is why I am gonna talk about that shit today.
Plus, my boss here at XXL sent me an expletive laden e-mail telling me to get my shit together if I ever wanted to see another digit from Harris. I didn’t need to be told twice so I cut my summer vacay in Forty Laudy short and scrambled back to my virtual cubicle here at XXLmag. I don’t fux with too many rappers from Florida too tough, but I will tell you that Florida ranks high on my list of hardbody states. Motherfuckers in Florida still be on that slavetimes poverty type shit. Walking around without no shoes and shower caps on they heads. WtF?!?
Most of the illest football players come from Florida too. I think that all the shit these kids do without shoes on gives them a distinct advantage when they get to college and finally get their first pair of shoes. There’s a ritual for freshman at the University of Miami to go to the mall and steal their first pair of cleats. If the players make it back to campus without being arrested or shot then they get to play for the Hurricanes. Gheynsville stand up! [ll]
When it comes to the NFL and Hip-Hop you would have to say that the Oakland-L.A. Raiders are the most Hip-Hop team of all time. In 1989 when the rap music supergroup Niggaz With Attitudes popularized Raider apparel merchandise that convinced the owner Al Davis to hire a nigger with an attitude as the team’s head coach. Art Shell would go on to become the first Black head coach in the NFL. And just like Hip-Hop, the Raiders now suck asscheeks.
All the popular teams are teh ghey. The Dallas Cowboys are supposed to get to the Super Bowl. Terrell Owens has a penchant for crying after games. What is more Hip-Hop right now than crying and wearing tight pants? Football is soooo fucking Hip-Hop. So far this year the best Hip-Hop album has come out of Philadelphia so I predict that the Eagles will be this season’s Super Bowl champs after defeating the Pittsburgh Steelers. Shout to that nigga Young Hott.
Pittsburgh is about to come up strong in this rap shit. Cincinnati is still washed up, no matter what they are calling themselves now. Who are you humps putting your chips on for this year’s Supe? Please don’t say New England or fucking Indianapolis.