SDN Tournament, The Senseless 16

Good morning, bitches. This is ESDN First Hate. I’m Ron Mexico.

The opening round of the SDN Tournament is finally complete. Round one was a shitstorm of Smart Dumb that saw some buzzer beaters (i.e.: RZA def. KRS-ONE), upsets (i.e.: 50 Cent def. Nick Cannon) and blowouts (i.e.: Lauryn HIll def. Trick Daddy).

The sweet 16 is no different. Here’s who you [collective] decided should advance.

[CLICK HERE FOR UPDATED BRACKET]

Ron Mexico City’s Analysis of Division A Matchups:

#1 Kanye West vs. #8 Diddy

They both love to bitch and whine for attention. Diddy’s been doing a much better job of late. Plus he can afford to put orange juice on cereal. Fuck the milk prices! Gasoline next time. That’ll be the ballinest video ever.

#4 Lil Wayne vs. #5 The Game

Some of us have learned recently that Lil Wayne is entirely too cool for all that reading and shit. Others have had such an inclination all along. The Game’s reputation precedes himself to the point whereas he could handle one Mr. Paper Trail on his way back to the booty house. Weezy isn’t safe here.

#6 Plies vs. #14 2Pac

Both are coming off of impressive wins (Pac’s more unexpectedly so) and have SDN strength compounded by the fact that neither have made recent news. I had Plies in the finals in my original bracket and I’m sticking to that. His Lil’ Jon showing has me finna ask him about his bailout proposal.

#10 Superhead vs. #15 RZA

Superhead crushed a weak opponent, but the combination of apparent ignorance on her part and rampant misogyny on ours leads me to believe that she has a chance to advance. RZA knocked out a KRS-ONE I had slated to make the Elite Hate, but the readers may not feel as strongly about the dooooloololooloooop when placed against the Best-Selling, Anal-Bead Showing, Martin Lawrence-in-Bad-Boys car-jumping Wondercheeks.

Ron Mexico City’s Analysis of Division B Matchups:

#9 Lauryn Hill vs. #16 50 Cent

I’m gonna toss my reservations out the window and say 50′s gettin the shit kicked out of him. L-Boogie might break 80% on his ass.

#4 DMX vs. #5 Shaquille O’Neal

If people are starting to lean on X’s dumbness and give less credit to the smart, this one could be closer than initially expected. Shaq made a push this year by not retiring, dropping the Kobe verse and taking his wifey back after she side-stacked. X hasn’t been smart since 1998. I don’t know how far It’s Dark and Hell is Hot can carry a man I had slated for the finals in my original bracket.

#11 Lil Jon vs. # 14 R. Kelly

The Pied Piper may be unstoppable after asking for a lifeline when questioned about his affinity for grassless fields. Lil Jon is a posterchild for SDN syndrome, but then again, so was Nas.

#7 Flavor Flav vs. #15 Papoose

I don’t think the dictionary is long enough to save Pap from the man Chris Rock believes need be shot in order for Black America to progress. Chris Rock must have been reading my column. I felt like he dropped at least 5 Ron Mexico-isms Saturday night.

Voting will open tomorrow morning @ Ron Mexico City and close Friday night.

Questions? Comments? Requests? As shocked as I am that the SOHH Boys are no longer in the house tonight? ron@ronmexicocity.com

  • yoprince

    pac is the epitome.

  • yoprince

    lil jon is right there too, esp. if you’ve actually ever met the nigga.

  • OG Matt Herbz

    Pac was a dumb nigga. Who said he was smart?

    Pac was a gay nigga. Who said he was straight?

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • B

      NO-G Matthew Herb, you are a certified ho for hire. How can you talk about anyone when you’re a white dude calling us “niggas?” You may need to be placed in the FAC (Foolish Ass Cracka) tournamnent.

  • giantstepp

    Pac shouldn’t even the tournament!

  • yoprince

    @ Matt..

    “smart” is loosely defined in this tournament as pretty much any modicum of success or fame.

    and getting millions of chicks to think you’re the best rapper ever is an added extra.

  • TheCo!!inB

    Lauryn Hill is about to Cherry Pick her way to victory….she doesn’t even have to play defense, just stay right about at half court and wait for someone to lob a pass. The woman wrote some genius shit like Rebel (off the unplugged joint) ON HER BATHROOM WALL….i wouldn’t be surprised if her and Rohan “Island Geech” Marley smoke ganja out of hee Grammy for Album of the Year.

  • TheCo!!inB

    Fuckin Ron Mexico!!! Nigga you stacked her AND Kells on the same division so the best matchup won’t even be in the finals!

    Darn you Ron, darn you to heck!

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

      random! blame the random!!!!

  • zino

    nas out???…wow…

    • EReal

      Riigggghhhttt??

  • DV8

    I still dont understand how Pac is considered a SDN. If anything he was just a bad judge of character. He trusted people to easily. If you check his interviews (youtube) you would see Pac was very smart. He had a purpose.

  • yoprince

    damn yea, i forgot about lauryn, then again… she hasn’t been dumb enough to get herself killed… but she’s definitely the penultimate SDN as well..

    • Pierzy

      No, but she’s dumb enough to throw away the most musical talent in decades in favor of smoking up with a Marley bastard child.

      • yoprince

        very true. pac and lauryn hill belong in the finals..

        i mean… lauryn had mainstream appeal (didn’t she sell like 10 mill), social consciousness, and true lyricism all wrapped into one. she was a decent singer with a voice great enuff to make ppl think she was a great singer and rap skills enough to put her in most backpackers’ top 5. she also had the foresight to not let Wyclef executive produce on Miseducation.

        and look at her now…

  • ri067953

    Yo, DV8, your reasoning is one of the reasons Pac is in this SDN running. His interviews show that Pac was a very articulate, thoughtful person. However, the fact that he allowed himself to get caught up in the gangsta persona, which led to his death is the other reason why he is a SDN.

  • Worley

    “Fuck the milk prices! Gasoline next time.” Mex you a fool bwah.

    “The Pied Piper may be unstoppable after asking for a lifeline when questioned about his affinity for grassless fields.”

    Yes, I predict R. Kelly will take this thing. But damn, Lauryn and Flav in the same division? Things might get a little rough for Sylvester.

  • Pierzy

    What’s good Ron…

    I’m telling you – this thing is Lauryn’s to lose!

    …and I thought the SOHH kids in the stall would have come to play but I should know better than to rely on those SDN.

  • DETROIT

    don’t underestimate PAP! The nigga tried to break remy ma out of jail!

  • http://suckapunk.blogspot.com Suckapunkin’

    I missed it, how is Flav smart?

  • EReal

    Damn, and I had Nas in my foolish 4.

  • http://kirk-francosmodernlife.blogspot.com/ kirk

    Weezy vs Game gon be close. Nas is still a posterchild for sdn’s just rob has been in overdrive lately.

  • Neven

    I am still Laughing at the whole concept and I agree that HILL should be the champ, but we all know that the one who deserves it the most never gets it ie. NaS is out

  • TheCo!!inB

    PLUS Hill was dumb enough to fall for cornball ass Wyclef Jean…..that’s a classic case of “that bitch is WAAAAAY outta his league” and she wrote an entire album of pif about a cornball….if that aint the eptiome of smart dumb shit I can’t call it……that Kells and Hill matchup is gonna have me smoking cigarettes again.

  • Michael

    Pac vs Lauryn in the finals. If ya’ll don;t realize how much of an idiot Pac was somethings worng.

  • John Brown

    What is shocking is that a #1 (Nick Cannon), the two #2′s (Jay-Z, KRS-One), the two #3′s (Nas, Snoop) were all upset in the first round. Those are some SMART-DUMB NEGROS there. That should tell you the balance of the field. Anything can happen in the SDN Tourney. I had ODB against Nas in the finals. We might see a #14 seed (R. Kelly) go against another #14 seed (2OAC) in the finals. This is why the SDN Tourney is like no tourney out there its RIDICULOUS.

    • John Brown

      I meant 2PAC not 2OAC…my bad

  • geico lizard

    ron you are right chris rock did jack alot of your stuff. i was watching him on youtube before he had it yanked off and he did sound he took some notes from some of your blogs. i know it was shot in many places but if you can find out when he made it then you will know which blog he or his cowriter read.

  • geico lizard

    i think r kelly will win the whole tournament after that BET interview because he looked like sarah palin does when she is being interviewed so i expect her to cancel the thursday debate or cry so biden will look like a sexist the same way hillary cried to make obama look bad so women would feel sorry and vote for her.

  • c b w

    Fool la-la-la!!!!

    Lauryn for SDN President!!! One time! One time!!!