My bad, Juelz

I should apologize to Juelz Santana.

Yesterday, I suggested he got robbed while on tour over in England, when it’s obvious he didn’t get robbed. He got extorted.

Sorry, bro!

This became clear to me when I read a press release Juelz put out earlier today addressing rumors that surfaced yesterday that he’d been robbed. I didn’t actually receive a copy of it myself, but I had one forwarded to me by Jackpot.

Which of course struck me as odd, since I was the one who did the story yesterday on Juelz getting robbed, and since my email address is pretty easy to come by. (Not that I’m looking to receive any more press releases. God forbid!)

I wonder if this was either a matter of, a) her (of course it’s a her) not being savvy enough a publicist to know who I am or how I can be contacted, or b) her purposely avoiding dealing with me, because I might say some shit that doesn’t reflect very well on her client.

I’m assuming it’s the latter, but also the former, if you catch my drift.

I’d go even further, to suggest that this might be yet another one of these cases of a MySpace jumpoff posing as some c-level rapper’s publicist. But you guys know what happened the last time I tried some shit like that: That post was lost to the dustbin of history, along with numerous other posts I’ve written for this site.

Also, as I learned the other day in a hip-hop advertising email group I belong to, a lot of these lower level hip-hop publicists don’t even like the term “MySpace jumpoff” mentioned in their presence, even if it isn’t specifically being applied to them.

Paranoid much? I’m just saying.

Suffice it to say that I could have written a much more convincing press release, with much better grammar to boot, and I don’t have any kind of background in public relations.

Anyhoo, you fruits probably already read the operative bit of the press release in the news item on this mess here at XXL, where’s it’s quoted at length. Here it is anyway, just in case.

“Bottom line, my former manager along, with an ex-group member, accepted an astronomical amount of money for a paid date that never happened or was ever brought to my knowledge,” Santana explained. “I was NOT robbed.

“My staff and I were kicked out of our orginal hotel for the commotion,” he continued. “The promoter, myself, and my Dipset associate Blackadon worked out the outstanding issue like bosses do.”

You don’t say?

I’ll start with the obvious: How in the fuck did you manage to get kicked out of the hotel for causing a commotion, but you and your Dipset associate Blackadon handled the situation like a boss is supposed to? It would seem to me that you could do one or the other.

Furthermore, who in the fuck ever heard of working out a settlement for some money owed by a guy who used to be your manager and a guy who used to be in your group (let me guess, it was Cam’ron?), when you said yourself that, not only did you not have anything to do with this deal, but you never even heard of it?

You guys know I was pre-med in college rather than pre-law, but I’m pretty sure that means Juelz didn’t actually owe anyone any money. And yet, by his own admission, him and Blackadon managed to come to some sort of agreement with these guys who came to collect.

Hmm…

I’d have to check, but I’m pretty sure that, if you don’t owe anyone any money, and yet you agree to pay someone some money, in a business meeting that involved enough commotion to get you kicked out of a hotel, that’s called extortion.

In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if Cam’ron, or whoever, didn’t actually owe these guys $70,000. Think about it: How in the fuck is a rapper gonna stick a promoter for that kind of money without there being some sort of legal action involved? Especially one of these major label rappers.

I wonder if these guys actually showed Juelz where it says, on paper, that he owed them $70,000, or if they just told him that and he went along with it. Because he was afraid for his life.

If it’s the latter, he might need to see about talking to the authorities over in England about getting his jewelry back. They didn’t have any cause to do him like that. Sure, it’ll look weak of him. But I’d say he’s already taken an L on this one.

Plus, I’m not even sure if it counts as snitching, if it’s not even in the US. For all we know, these guys who got him could be with the terrorists. Do we know for a fact what race these guys were? I’ve heard there’s a lot of Arabs sneaking into Europe. Right, TPAR?

  • these posts are racist

    “For all we know, these guys who got him could be with the terrorists….I’ve heard there’s a lot of Arabs sneaking into Europe.”

    So all Arabs are terrorists hu? You racist prick. There are a lot of Arabs and Muslims in Europe. What should be done to them Byron?

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      >So all Arabs are terrorists hu?

      No, but most terrorists are Arab.

      Am I right or am I right?

      • these posts are racist

        It depends how you define terrorist. How do you define terrorist?

        Re-read what you wrote: “For all we know, these guys who got him could be with the terrorists. Do we know for a fact what race these guys were? I’ve heard there’s a lot of Arabs sneaking into Europe.”

        You don’t think that’s wildly off base…and racist?

  • http://xxlmag.com slim

    cam set juelz up! hahahahahahaha

    • http://www.myspace.com/uptownempire Trouble

      That shit would be hilarious !! Atleast he aint on no Rick Ross-It never happened type shit. Word is theres a video that will shed light on this situation. I hope his disloyal ass did get robbed. Where is ya homeboy 50 Cent when u need him LOL !!

      Besides, Juelz without a pistol, probably couldnt fight off Amy Winehouse on a crack binge.

  • giantstepp

    you actually raised some very good points my Nigga. Sounds more like extortion after reading this. If the Nigga had no knowledge of any of that shit, why would he work anything out? A real boss sure would’nt have….hell, a nigga on the street wouldnt either. Juelz looking kinda suspect Bol, but not sure if its an L tho.

  • KF UK

    Juelzless Santana, Just Santana, Juelz Bandana watever. Dude got done by some goonies in London. End of. Dudes a FAG wid them wak ass exuses. And BOL. it dont matter what color som1 is in the UK everyone gets busy man.

    and yo just for future info check some dude called MEGAMAN from the UK, his names come up alot over here about this…

  • Pierzy

    “Juelzless Santana”

    ^^^^^^^^^^
    Hahahaha

  • yoprince

    does dipset take the most L’s??

    robbed with no guns = extortion.. this is what happened to juelzless santana

    classic post..

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com ron mexico

    *tears up today’s NEGRO PLEASE*

    thanks, bol!

  • rec

    These clowns are being exposed one after the other. Keep it real! LOL

  • PORT ARTHUR TEXAS

    juelz set set santana up up set up set up set up set up NA FUCK BOL JUELZ WOULDNT GO OUT LIKE THAT N DIPSET IS THE BEST FROM THE EAST

  • anutha_level

    yea…nigga’s breath prolly smell like cheese and armpit

  • CHUN

    Chun to be a US rapper in the UK. Fucking pussies.

  • Yaw

    Yo there may be a lot of Arab’s sneaking into as a whole, but England’s illegal immigratants of recent times have been mostly Eastern Europeans such as Polish, Lithiuanian etc. Quuite a few ‘Arab’ ppl get into the country through marriage. DOn’t get me wrong the situation still persists, but has less of an impact on us. Still, if anything, he was robbed by black “guys pretending to be gully, in their penny loafers and with their thick English accents.”

    • Yaw

      Another mistake, I meant to say sneaking into Europe as a whole… my badness lol

  • http://myspace.com/marko4aoc Marko-V

    This isn’t the proper forum to ask this however…can you review my rap cd Bol? I plan on puttin it in Vintage Vinyl around the 23rd of September. Your approval or mention goes along way in the Hip-Hop community and it might help me land on the cover of Riverfront Times. I’m dead serious about being the best rapper to come from the Lou and refuse to let those hatin ass “Hi-Point Heydey Homos” outshine me.
    get at me:myspace.com/marko4aoc
    Oh, the songs I got on my myspace page are from my old album and not the new one.

  • Pingback: XXLmag.com | Hip-Hop On A Higher Level | » NEGRO PLEASE: So Juelz Santana Didn’t Catch a Yung Berg?

  • geico lizard

    he got extorted but im sure they video taped the jewelry first so they can get the money now and humiliate him later. they probably wanted to get signed to a record deal.

  • http://www.rizzleworld.blogspot.com allnice

    They got him. They extorted sonny. Write that check, get that cash, or he was gonna get mangled and savaged. So he did what he was told. He wasn’t in the US, thank god for him. His career would have been over in the states.

    These niggaz go places and don’t know what the fuck they are doing or who they are dealing with. He must not be making that much money if he can’t insulate himself from the bullshit. After Camron selling him like a slave and now this has put major dents in his already fragile armor.