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Lil’ Wayne Can’t Read Either?

Previously in the annals of XXL:

What are you reading right now to help you…

I don’t read a damn thing. That’s why I don’t write music. I’m too cool to be reading and writing…I’m a very intelligent nigga. I can read like a motherfucka. I don’t want motherfuckas to think I’m illiterate.

You’re in college so…

I don’t read, other than that shit.

But we talking about books for leisure.

Nah, I’ve done that like once or twice. It’s just not my thing. I’m not into made-up stories.

You know how people get together and they like, “Yo, you read…”

I’m not even in that conversation circle. That would be crazy, I can’t answer nothing so why would I sit there and talk? I ain’t read no books. I sit and watch ESPN all day. I can tell you what happened in sports. I do what floats my boat. If you trying to figure out where I get this talk, that’s me. I’m born with that. I don’t have no brothers, no sisters. My brother is 6-years-old. My dad ain’t never had one of those. And the one I called pops, he passed. My momma, she do her cooking thing. I’m an intelligent nigga,. I just refuse to be dumb. -excerpt from Lil’ Wayne interview with Datwon “Bossman” Thomas, XXL Magazine

*takes away Lil Wayne’s plate of Lasagna with Lean Sauce*

No more lean for you, little gremlin nigga. Jesus. What’s with all these niggas trying to jilt the “S” from their “DN” status mid-tournament?

Must be something in the heir.

What the fuck does the air apparent mean when he says he’s “too cool to be reading and writing?” I ain’t never once told the 45 year-old nigga double-bagging my groceries at the local C-Town (read: “Ghetto Supermarket Chain”) how cool he is. Gnome sane? Sometimes I step over his ass on the way home from late-night partying. Not every nigga can pick up a ball or sing or somehow shuffle for the masses to earn his pittance. I’d like to think we live in a time whereas we don’t necessarily have to. [Except we still do, but that's another column unto itself.]

I hate to go all LeVar Burton on y’all today, but that Reading Rainbow I chose to slide down into a pot of scholarships saved my ass from some serious “All That I Got Is You” shit. I’m talking waterbugs in the cereal box, 17 people in a three-bedroom apartment (Eat that, Ghost! I came up Mexican for real!), trying to flip brown money at the movie theater, not knowing what it was like to sleep in a bed until I was 12… Yeah, that whole deal.

I’m not telling y’all this to earn no stripes. Niggas go through rougher shit than that. I ain’t trying to compare war stories. I still think I’m the luckiest nigga on the planet sometimes. I’m just saying that the shit little Dwayne Carter’s a little too cool for is what has saved me from death and/or incarceration. My handle wasn’t nice enough to get me on the Knicks. I’ll bust a drunk freestyle with my niggas, but I’m a far cry from recording artist material. Aside from looking to the man who can’t read the newspaper he lives under and asking him to hip me to the ways of Le Homeless Cool, there wasn’t shit for me to do but educate myself and figure out a passion.

Not every book is a “made-up story.” Some of that shit is true story the likes of which could inspire a nigga to be somebody. Good, old-fashioned booklearnins be the difference between a nigga who eats $100 bills and and one who invests them into something wise.

If Wayne has no intention on actually learning anything in college, he’s just wasting his young money. There’s no sense in him going. Weezy’s got his whole career thing kinda figured out. Money is right. The B.S. [see what I did there?] in psychology is neither going to increase his Cash Money base salary nor provide a security blanket were he to Vick out in prison.

I also don’t think he should be going to University of Houston if he’s got a lean problem. That’d be like sending R. Kelly to a 9th grade English composition class once he escapes the closet of illiteracy.

There’s nothing wrong with not being much of a recreational reader. Wayne may be making the classic and grave mistake of confusing talent with intelligence. I know a lot of talented, educated dumb motherfuckers. Some of them are responsible for the content you swear by. Niggas just need to be informed. Information doesn’t HAVE to come from books. They’re just where 90% of the best shit is kept. They’re also where I hide my money.

I’m soooo past the mattress.

With this said, I’d rather Wayne promote illiteracy (pronounced: “Kellsdom”) than saying something like “I read them Triple Crown Publication thangs, lil’ daddy. I just finished ‘Tru 2 Da Gayme 4.’ That shit real than a mawfucka. Yah!’” Reading needs to become more popular in the “urban” community altogether. More time reading anything of interest and less time watching Rocsi slob rapsters down with her eyes would make a huge difference in general awareness.

What you do when the scales fall from your eyes is on you.

Seriously. Just sit at home and watch SportsCenter 7 times before you fill your brains with the nonsense on those pages.

This has been a message from the United Negroes Need To Go To College Fund.

[Blogger's Note: I don't think college is the answer, per se. I also don't recommend spending a bunch of money there if you don't know what you want to get out of it. More than anything else we need passion, work ethic and a hunger for information to get ourselves anywhere.]

Questions? Comments? Requests? Still wanna tear into a $100 bill with your platinum teeth?

There’ve been some rumors and confusion swirling about the status of SDN Tournament Round 1 – Division A. The voting is closed. The results are in. Check them here.

Division B first-round voting will remain open until Sunday morning at midnight.

P.S.: I’m going to Negro Please myself for taking the words of a dumb nigga to heart. Needless to say, Wayne doesn’t get any Ron Mexico votes in a contest of smart-dumbness.

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