Happy Birthday Lil’ Wang!


Don’t think that the irony of me knowing Lil’ Wang’s birthday is lost on me. I once accused the dearly departed Noz of knowing all of his favorite rapper’s birthdays. The only reason that I know Lil’ Wang’s born day is because it is the same day as mine. So now that Lil’ Wang is turning 21 and he can legally buy his own prescription cough syrup I thought I would give him some advice from one drug addict to another.

XXLMag.com columnist Billy X. Sunday does not endorse the abuse of prescription and or non-prescription narcotics, depressants, stimulants, barbituates or any controlled substances**

**Unless you have some

So where should I start? I suppose the most popular drug of choice is the one called Syrup, or the Lean, or the motherfuckin’ Drank. I’ve never fucked with this shit because I always had enough money to buy liquor, or at least a 40 ounce. People that create drugs from household shit like cough syrup and band-aids should get some kind of MacGuyver award for drug abuse.

The same for people that get high off industrial shit like paint, and paint thinner. I never sniffed glue or none of that industrial shit because I would never get within twenty feet of that shit. That shit smells like housework to me and I ain’t got no time for that. Imagine me getting high off Windex to the point that I am cleaning my coffee table ten times a day. I ain’t got no coffee table in my apartment since I sold it for crack.

Crack cocaine is having a resurgence in entertainment circles. I blame all this Rick James and 1980′s nostalgia. It wasn’t the chemical makeup of cooked cocaine that made it so addictive but the gold leggings and the flattop haircut. I hope Lil’ Wang steers clear of that crack cocaine shit. Sonn is already less than a buck on the scales. He might get so skinny that he will be back to rocking his old jumpsuits by Osh Kosh B’Gosh (no Cam’Ron).

Speaking of Cam… Weed is still the shit and definitely something that I would like for my birthday party. A nice big fluffy Z of that good white boy shit they grow under the Kleig lights. Something with some orange and purple hairs growing from the buds. Smooth shit like that you don’t roll up in a cigar. I get out my grandfather’s chalice that he came up on during a stop in the Philipines. Rolling Dutches is for the uncivilized people that don’t know how to use a fork or knife.

When all else fails there is always alcohol which is pretty much legal to everyone older than sixteen. At least in Alaska I think it is. That’s why the VP nominee is 44yr old grandmother. This is what Wang should celebrate his birthday with. A bottle of that champagne that he was supposed to be coming out with unless that deal fell off the table in which case he should prA’li just go back to sipping that lean. I wonder if Wang can get an endorsement deal with Dimetapp? That’s what his management should be working on his birthday.

Happy birthday Lil’ Wang!

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  • capcobra


  • Pierzy

    Fuck Lil Wayne but Happy Birthday BXS!

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    Happy birthday homes.

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    happy birthday, billy.

    “I wonder if Wang can get an endorsement deal with Dimetapp?”

    that’s why i fucks with YOU, mr. sunday.

  • http://www.prettypancakes.com amar

    hahahhaa no cam’ron

    don’t forget coffee and food under the addictive substances list either…starbucks and mcdonalds have more drug dealer street cred and bodies than rick ross any day.

    Happy birthday


  • DV8

    Rolling Dutches is for the uncivilized people that don’t know how to use a fork or knife.

    LMAO thats funny! I’ll still roll up a swisher sweet or optimo every now and then. Bong is my weapon of choice.

    And Wayne is like 26 years old, which means he should know better then to be dressing like that. You think if Juve and B.G. where still around he would be dressing like that? I highly doubt it.

  • og matt herbz

    That must suck, you know, waiting for one day to come around each year so you have an excuse to party… Me? Shit, I party every fucking day, smoke the best weed my white niggaz can grow, fuck the best skins that white skin can attract, and ride in all the best whips like any true white gentleman owns.

    Lil Wayne stay gay.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

    • texasleen

      Mr. Me Too…you dont have to lie Craig

  • http://www.nerditry.com nerditry

    @DVB : Co-sign on Wang being much older than he lets on or lets the skinny jeans kids believe. Though I am nervous for a guy that’s gonna sound like a vocoder a few years away…

    @Billy X : No stannin, let’s get to plannin! I need that green nugget wrapped in the envelope, wrapped in printout, tucked into the way back stash pocket in the North Face.

  • D

    I too am i libra 10-4 but any way billy your a fool that lean is more expensive than any liquor i ever bought a 1/4 pint can go for $100 and no one drinks nyquil dog the stuff is prescription…

  • texasleen

    i was visiting san marcos texas @ texas state college and one of the stores there had a drink called Drank it said it was relaxed energy the clerk told me he sells the shit out of it…wtf is relaxed energy…

  • http://www.myspace.com/sinistahmoneybagz Sinistah aka 7Body Sin

    BXS enjoy nukka, the country is broke!

  • geico lizard

    happy birthday billy go buy a lottery ticket

  • http://hiphoponmymind.blogspot.com DJ Daddy Mack


  • grp03

    Lil wayne is like 26, not 21. You prob mentioned that later in the article, but I refused to keep reading. Mainly, because you suck, Billy X, at being interesting.

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