Nas, you dirty dog you.
So just now, I was checking Gawker, where I go in the morning to find out about a lot of shit you fruits probably don’t know about and wouldn’t otherwise give a shit about, and I stumbled upon a story about Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the hoo-er that brought down Eliot Spitzer earlier this year, hence making way for New York’s first blind governor and the pardoning of Slick Rick. (Someone get this ho an award!)
Of course, I was gonna have to give this item more than my standard perusal. Not to let you fruits in on more than you need to know about me, but this morning I rolled off of the couch with a semi, despite the fact that I’m not as virile in my old age as I was, say, 10 years ago. (No ceiling was safe back in those days, if you catch my drift.) And it’s taken all of the effort I can muster not to call this morning a wrap and instead take a look at some Internets pr0n.
The item in Gawker has to do with a story in the New York Post today about this other hoo-er that’s got this Superhead book coming. Back in the day, she used to work with this guy Jason Itzler, who used to run high price hoo-ers, and who I’m sure many of you fruits heard on the Howard Stern Show around the time of the Eliot Spitzer incident. Ashley Alexandra Dupre was another one of his hoo-ers, back before he ended up getting busted.
Now he runs some sort of agency where he matches up guys with a shiteload of money with girls with a personal appearance such that they could get with a guy with a shiteload of money. But for the purposes of marriage, not just playing hide the salami for $4,300 an hour or whatever. Which is kinda like prostitution, if you think about it, but I guess it’s legal. Still, if I had that kind of money, I’m not sure if I’d want a woman like that permanently. As attractive as I’m sure these girls are, the fact that they would be involved with such a program lets you know they’ve got ho tendencies.
But I digress.
So the girl that’s got the Superhead book coming out used to run with Ashley Dupre back when the two of them used to work together, and of course the excerpt from her book that’s running in the Post today has to do with the two of them. Otherwise, I’m at a loss for why anyone would even give a shit about this book, unless she’s been with a lot of famous people, a la the real Superhead.
In fact, the excerpt in the post re: Ashley Dupre involves a famous person – none other than the motherfucking Little Homey. I was shocked to see his name come up, since the headline didn’t mention this as having anything to do with Nas. I guess it just goes to show the audience for this sort of thing.
As the story goes, a young Ashley Dupre had become inspired by the story of Mariah Carey, who’d been “discovered” waitressing in a bar by the legendary music executive Tommy Mottola, and so she set about finding important people in the music industry to service. She’d heard Nas was having a birthday at some club, and so her and this girl that’s got the book coming out decided to go.
At the club, they saw Nas sitting at a table with Kelis, who was his girlfriend at the time. So they went and sat at the table next to it. Then they had a bottle of champagne sent over to Nas table. The Nas, upon receiving the bottle of champagne, motioned for the two of them to come over to his table.
Well, that’s all they really tell you in the excerpt in the Post. And maybe also in the book, though I’m not sure. But it’s definitely suggested that they did more than just stand at the edge of his table and wish him a happy birthday.
Here’s exactly the way she ends the anecdote:
The waitress delivered our birthday present to Nas’ table with our best wishes. Nas looked up, and then motioned for us to come over to his table.
Ashley put on her game face.
Which I took to mean her and Nas must have done something. You know how these Superhead books are. A lot of times, they’ll mention a celebrity’s name and suggest that they might have been involved with one of these hoes, without actually going there. In a lot of cases, they probably have to, for legal purposes.
If she’d actually come out and said that Nas ran up in that, he could probably sue this woman for defamation. And she’d be pretty much shit out of luck, unless she could produce a piece of fabric that had been tainted with Nas’ demon seed or some shit. But obviously her aim here was to make us think that something happened. Otherwise, why mention the game face?
Furthermore, what kind of ho do you know who would buy a man a (presumably expensive) bottle of champagne, just because it was his birthday? Most of these hoes wouldn’t get a man a free cup of water, after he’d just crossed a desert. They’re coldhearted like that, even more so than regular women. Nah, she was obviously there to give Nas a birthday present that cost way more than a bottle of Moet White Star. Shit, even more than a real bottle of Moet.
What do you fruits think? Did Nas take Ashley Dupre up on what may very well have been the best proposition presented to a man, evar? Or did the Little Homey take an L on this one, as usual? Speak on it!