Change we can’t afford to part with

There must be something about being alone more often than not that makes you hardened in your resolve to not spend any money on a beeyotch. Because I am, and I can hardly fathom the idea of tricking.

Not that I can afford to anyway. I’m just saying.

I spend a lot of time these days drinking in bars, even though I can hardly afford to stay wasted in the comfort of my own home. And you know how that is.

The places where I go are places where you’re likely to see nothing but a buncha guys sitting around by themselves tying one on. Because it’s not like I’m sweating trying to holler at a beeyotch while I’m getting my drink on. As far as I’m concerned, the less broads in a place the better. No homo.

If I wanted to scope out some smoking hot pussy, I’d head to a club that plays a lot of Flo Rida, and other hip-hop that’s mostly only enjoyed by white people.

Still, I often find myself in a situation where I’ll be sitting there by myself, minding my own business, and a broad will come up to me like, “Damn, I could use another drink.”

To which my response is, of course, “Well, I guess you should buy yourself one!”

Nah, I’m just kidding. Like I’d run the risk of some ignorant beeyotch throwing a drink on me. With some of the fruity shit these girls drink, I could fuck around and have one of my shirts ruined. And if I could afford to just be buying clothes like that, I’d have more of them that fit right.

Usually, I’ll just try to wait it out, until she realizes that I’m not about to come up off of $5 on the outside chance that maybe it’ll convince her to break me off some stank, when, in all likelihood, she’s really only out for a free drink and the attendant ego boost.

That’s just not how I roll.

Hence, I can’t help but cringe when that T.I. song “Whatever You Like” comes on the radio. Which, to my chagrin, seems to be happening more and more often these days. Seriously, I haven’t been as bothered philosophically with a rap song in a long time. And that’s saying something, in this day and age.

I mean, it’s one thing to spend a lot of money on shit for yourself in order to impress a woman. Even that’s a little bit borderline, but it’s just the kind of shit you’re gonna have to do if you’re a guy. It’s the reason male peacocks have so many colorful feathers.

But since when did it become cool to do a song advertising how much money you’re willing to spend on a broad? If you notice, “Whatever You Like” is only the latest in a long line of southern rap songs where guys talk about buying girls drinks, and how much money they’re willing to spend on them and what have you.

Is that what’s hot in the South – paying for pussy, in an age when the unmarried rate amongst black women is hovering up around 70%? Do these people not have any concept of a buyer’s market? The fuck?

It just goes to show that the fans of this crap aren’t doing a whole lot of critical thinking. In fact, I’d say there’s a correlation to be drawn to how the Internets seem to be so impressed today that T.I. went and did a video outside of the projects where Shawty Lo used to live… while Shawty Lo wasn’t even there!

Again, what the fuck? Who knew it was so easy to be deemed a badass in the hip-hop community? Don’t let me find out where Kimbo Slice used to live. I might have to go there and shoot a video. Then afterwards, I’ll take a girl to the bank I use and see how much money I need to withdraw for her to have sex with me.

I’m gonna be the coolest!

  • http://www.asdf.com Hey

    So you go to bars and drink by yourself?

    • http://xxlmag.com Bol

      When I’m lucky.

  • Jhon da Analyst

    Southern niggas trick cause they don’t have any lyrical power with da Hoez!!!!!

    • 239allday

      Yeah, that makes so much sense. That’s why we see bitches shakin they asses to Immortal Technique and Lupe when they in the club.

      That was a poor attempt at tryin to shit on the South.

      Step your insult game up fuck nigga!!!

  • 239allday

    “As far as I’m concerned, the less broads in a place the better. No homo.” -Bol

    Just because the sentence was followed by a no homo doesn’t make it any less homo. Whrn I go out, whether it be the club or the grocery store, I’m prepared and sometimes hoping to see some brizzles. But I understand what you’re saying no matter how fruity it is. Hip Hop unofficial was always “money over bitches” or “never love dem hoes” (No nate Dogg). But you can’t just can’t attribut the niggas payin to the south, Hov and Russel Simmons started all that shit.

    Plus, It aint trickin if you got it!!!

    • Big Dick Cheney

      Wrong!!!!!!! Wrong!!!! It still is trickin if you got it. if you keep trickin on these hoes, you wont have shit….

      IF you dumb enough to spend major money on these bitches, you probly dumb enough not to use a condom or not to get a pre-nup…

      And that’s when she takes half.

    • The Spaniard

      “Plus, It aint trickin if you got it”

      nigger, it’s still trickin’. Don’t lie to yourself.

      Embrace your trick stats.

  • Enlightened

    No nigga you are late. And New York niggas was talking about spending money on bitches in the 90s and I was asking what the fuck is wrong with these niggas.
    Jay-Z made plenty references to buying bitches shit – just look at his first breakthrough single…Ain’t no nigga
    He even asked the bitch “how much do you need for shopping?” in the video.
    Well, it looked just a little cooler in Goodfellas when Ray Liotta got his dick sucked after that question.
    Go do your research more thoroughly and see how many New York rappers were talking about
    “Mami I’ll ice you” and all that bullshit.
    You’re late as hell homie.
    And for the record, T.I. is talking about his actual old lady in the song, not some random bitch, and that’s not trickin.

  • Enlightened

    Oops, now that I ran some of the words through my head, (tell them other broke niggas be quiet) maybe he wasn’t talking about his old lady, so fuck my reference to him. Just pay attention to the other stuff I said LOL

  • yoprince

    revelation: broke niggas are jealous of men who can afford to buy women drinks.

    never woulda guessed that.

  • Worley

    “Usually, I’ll just try to wait it out, until she realizes that I’m not about to come up off of $5 on the outside chance that maybe it’ll convince her to break me off some stank, when, in all likelihood, she’s really only out for a free drink and the attendant ego boost.”

    Tabernacle.

    Jay, Biggie (RIP) and ballplayers messed the game up for real. These days I’ll cook a chick a meal and get her drunk. If that ain’t enough I’ll see ya later.

    • SDUB-google-me

      Did you read my book or something?……lol you a cool dude. I do the same shit. She come thur I cook for her doing my 1,2 thing she sipping I’m sipping watching TV in between (I blaze b 4 they get there). (Women are impressed by men who can cook?) Bol what’s your excuse your fat so we know you like to eat, all you got to do is learn how to cook. Oh yeah back to my 1,2 thing meals served and then the Itis kicks in. I suggest we lay down the rest is history. Getting a woman to your spot is the whole purpose if they make it there the rest is down hill. I be tricking too but it’s mutual w/my women.

      • iLL G

        nigga u got ONE bitch stop lying!!! lol j/k i feel u on that i do the same thing (before the book) lol. Cus u right, they ARE impressed if u can cook, especially if its good. theres also different types of food u can eat that will actually get her turned on so when the ‘itis kicks in, and u lay down, she already half way there lmao

      • J-LAJIK

        i do the same shit! LOL!

  • droopey

    Good read.

  • geico lizard

    “buyers market” bol you know the price would just get jacked up before you close the deal. id rather get drunk at home so i know i wont end up dying trying to drive home. i cant explain all the tricking songs coming out of the south i know when i spend alot on a woman she doesnt seem to impressed down here so i think i stems from women in the south really are conceited and shallow and they see new york and LA on tv and they want what they think the women there are getting so to get the attractive women in the south you have to spend alot of money. most of the really stuck up pretty women in the south think they should be in a bigger market just like a pro athelete or a radio dj wants to move on to the big dance basically so that breeds trick songs. if you just want sex stick to he ugly chicks and save your money.

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    You’ll never have to resort to tricking on women if you have southern charm. They’ll buy their own drinks and yours, just to be close and share the aura if you have it.

    Tricking is just wrong. It has no benefits other than the continued leakage of your bank account. It adds to the likelyhood that you will run out of gas rubbernecking while driving, chasing ‘tang around the city. And of course, women don’t respect a man who will put money down as if it’s a replacement for good D.

    D will make a woman pay her own way every time. No credit checks, no down payment. 0% APR.

    Men trick until they learn that it’s stupid. Some continue their whole lives, and some get worse, thus the “sugar daddy” phenomenon. Women resent men who try to buy them, even though they accept the gratuity and amenities. The P is still free.

  • 6MillionDollarMan

    I understand its about trickin and shit like that. I hate the concept of the song no lie but it is a good song for what its worth and if you look at the video you will see that its in the females imagination that ti tricks off all his money on her.

    so if you real player/pimp/ dude like me you gotta bring that chick back to reality and tell that hoe i want yo entire paycheck today cause i need some clothes. church.

  • ri067953

    Bol-
    You got it backwards man. Why go to a bar to drink and sit around with a bunch of other dudes and pay inflated prices for the liquor? The only reason to go to a bar is to scope out the bitches that are getting wasted on the other dudes’ dime then make your move when they are already nice and sloppy drunk.

    You logic is outstanding proof that you have no game!

    • Matt Herbz

      “As soon as he buy that wine, I just creep up from behind…”

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

    ahem.

    gentlemen. you will never lose a woman chasing money; you will always lose money chasing women.

    read it. study it. live it. oh, and NEVER buy a girl a drink if you’re just going to fuck her. if a girl is ready to fuck you the first night, she isn’t worth the drink anyhow, so don’t bother.

    (some exceptions may apply if you happen to be horribly dis/over-figured, etc)

  • http://xxlmag.com Kane Corleone

    Peep game,what i do is when at the club and u orderin a drink if you see a bad bitch and she trying to order one,pay for your drink and tell the bartender to get the lady what she wants ,make sure u make eye contact with the bitch ,let him keep the change and just walk away.dont say nothing to her,I bet money before the nite is thru she’ll be looking for u.Tru Story

  • Amar

    he’s trynna say that he’s so rich, she can have whatever she likes.

    Plus I’m pretty sure part of T.I’s deal for getting off the gun charges is that he has to be all role model all the time now. He’s been really irritating me lately.

  • BigNat

    ^^^^^^^ homie above me you like your women sloppy and all fucked up. all it took was one chick almost throwing up on my dick to stop me from fucking with wasted chicks. she turned her head puked then tried to go right back to sucking dick like it was nothing. oh no never again what you do when a women wants a drink. explain to her that you can dirnk what i am drinking. we drink shots when go out henny, tequila. vodka, jack and uzo. if your cheap give uzo to the chick 2 shots and let her nurse a melon going cost you less than 20 bucks. see uzo is strong but it’s very sweet they love that shit. you want them to get tipsy not sloppy. tipsy equals a good night sloppy equals puke or dealing with a hungover chick in the morning.

    • bignat

      this comment was for ri067953 tham you nigga type fast

  • Maddolies

    Fuck paying 4 a bitch, they gotta pay 4 me. If Im Hungry I Expect Her 2 Go Out And Get Me Some Damn Food, If I Cum on the rug wen shez suckin my dick, She Better Get On The Floor And Suck Dat Shit Off The Rug. No Messes Around Here.

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    Jesus. This one’s getting ill…

  • eddiesixes

    addressing my alcohol dependency comes first, the most convenient pussy without hating myself comes second. (and inebriation + convienience = a good laugh in the morning) and that’s just real talk, no internet ego here hahahaha

    it’s trickin if that’s all you got (if you can’t talk your way to some pussy, your ass is gonna be at home with palmela on account of a richer, dumber motherfucker)

  • boi-dan

    You and Tariq Nasheed share some of the same viewpoints.

  • king equality

    come on niggas been tricking forever tricking is a sport nowadays some niggas dont like to wait they pay up front so they can stay up front which I dont agree with just get your skills up and alot will fall on your lap for free I wish niggas would start making songs a bout investing your money band keeping your money instead of how to go broke or die trying

  • master cheef

    if it aint tricking if you got it, how you supposed to do it if you aint got it? that dont make no gotdamn sence.

    and this new trend is pissing me the fuck off. luda just did it too. i just lost a lot of respect for both them niggas.

  • SS

    Aw Bol, Let me find out you sittin in saloons all alone. I’ma buy you a drank! Tpain vocoder and all! It ain’t gotta be this way, Bol! Noooooooooooooooo!

  • Oneofthemyo’s

    Couple things fruit boy
    The whole concept of the video is zarias imagination, so connect the dots people it aint the fact that he tricks its the fact that a bitch’ll think u tricking that gets u the ass, especially effective with groupie bitches when u r not a star(aka perspective).

    Nigga your nerd ass wouldnt be caught dead where kimbo slice used to live.

    Dont matter that shawty lo wasnt there(wtf tip shoulda called ahead of time?)if Lo held it down like he claim his lil niggas aka goons would’ve handled ti being round there either way the T.I’s wouldnt have that so that point is irrelevant beef is over the nigga with more money won aka tip.

    And lastly it aint all negative with your fruity self I actually agree with the tricking shit,that shits disgusting plus I already got into it with a scripper(bitch tried to off me)I DONT TRICK! inconus n e way.

  • NEfarious

    Finally… I was wondering when someone would discuss this latest fad of bitchassiness. Look when in doubt. just close your eyes an think what would Pac do. Alot of your favorite rappers have had that phrase “it aint trickin if you got it” come out there mouth.
    THESE NIGGAZ ARE ATTEMPTING TO UNDERMINE, THE LISTENERS INTELLIGENCE BY TRYING TO JUSTIFY WHY THEY TRICK TO GET PUSSY, BY TRYING TO MAKE IT SEEM COOL.THEM SAME NIGGAZ CALL THEMSELVES PIMPS. maybe a drink in the club…maybe…on a blue moon, and the stars are perfectly aligned a broad could eat off the 99 cent menu. I suggest niggas go back to eightball mjg coming out hard album to understand what being player is all about…

    ur not a pimp if you got to spend money so females will hang around you. Ur a trick, a john…
    Lets be real here…

    Ps By tricking you making it hard for real niggaz… and a broad cant diffrentiate between the real tizzle.

  • Moi

    Do these people not have any concept of a buyer’s market?
    ^^^
    lol. yo, this was kind of a sad post-there’s a lotta pathos in there. as a friend of mine once told me bol, “you always pay for the pussy in some way.” keep your head up!

    p.s. if you’re willing to degrade yourself and become a “black guy,” i’m sure you could get a white girl to fuck you. (when you get to her house and she puts on “the chronic” be sure to issue the appropriate beatdown before replacing with coldplay).

  • Matt Herbz

    I heard “It ain’t tricking if you’ve got it.” twice on the way to the office this morning. Once by Weezy, once by Ludacris. What the fuck does that mean anyway? I mean, a nigga like me buys drinks for a lot of women and some step over and play with my dick at the bar, and others just stay at their seat and flash me their pussy under the table, but I’ll be gotdamn if I ever dropped a bill on a ho and said “That’s for a fuck, ho,” or some shit. That’s just not my steez. Coincidence that I don’t like the rappers saying that shit anyway…niggaz probably do have to trick to get some stuffing.

    –OG Matt Herbz–

  • http://www.rizzleworld.blogspot.com allnice

    Tricking on some bitch is never good in any situation. The bitch is paying or we going dutch. Going dutch lasts for a little bit until the chick gets comfortable enough with me to start paying. If she can’t pay, then she gotta have something else she can offer to a nigga for spending time with her.