Contact Us

See, this is why we can’t have shit

A few weeks ago, I did a post on my own site, about how my little brother and I were having some chicken wings in the U. City Loop, and there was some sort of disturbance.

It was hard to tell what exactly was going on, but all of a sudden there was this big crowd of young, maybe high school-age n-bombs, and there was a lot of noise, as if they had been arguing. Then a couple of cop cars showed up and the crowd disbursed. One guy, who obviously had some weed in his pocket, took off walking really fast, while everyone else just kinda gradually drifted back to wherever the fuck they came from.

At least for the time being.

As I wrote back then, this was clearly a sign. I knew it was only gonna be a matter of time before there was some sort of violent incident, and then they were gonna have to pass some kind of law to keep young n-bombs from congregating in the Loop. Just like they had to do out at the Galleria a couple of years ago.

Of course, fruits like thoreaully77 had to respond that I’m a racist, and how did I know that these kids were gonna commit some sort of a crime just because they were walking around in huge packs, bogarting the sidewalk, and making a shedload of noise? Maybe that’s just what’s hot in the street these days.

Well, as it turns out, I was right, and that fruit thoureally77 was wrong.

Last night, my boy Dave and his Asian hetero lifemate Twan or whatever his name is (seriously, neither one of these dudes is teh ghey) were having a joint birthday party at Blueberry Hill. I was gonna go, but I was still feeling the lingering effects of the PCP I took this weekend.

(By the way, does anyone know of a good place to buy an AK-47? I swear mofos keep following me when I’m in the mall, and clearly something’s gonna have to be done.)

When I rolled off the couch at the ass crack of noon today, I saw my little brother sitting there looking up something on my computer.

I was like, “Dude, how was the party?”

He responded that it was the shit, which I suspected it might have been (I believe Dave is some sort of manager down there, and there might have been some sort of hook-up on the food and alcohol), but that there was a shooting in the Loop right when he was getting down there, and that kinda put a damper on things.

Damn.

As long as I’ve been going down to the loop, i.e. since forever, I’ve never heard of anyone getting shot down there. (Two blocks away, sure, but that’s a completely different area.)

And to think, I was considering heading down there. I could have been struck and killed by a stray bullet. Imagine what a blow that would have been to hip-hop journalism. (Though I notice Billy X Sunday has been stepping his game up lately. I, for one, happened to enjoy that AIDS post. Nullus.)

It’s obvious to me what happened: They let too many n-bombs come down to the loop, and this was the result.

Only thing is, I don’t have any for real confirmation on the cause of the shooting, or the identities of either the victim or the suspect.

I consulted Google, and I turned up what looks like a video from the local evening news. It said the victim was one of a group of five who was walking around in the Loop. They got into some sort of confrontation with the suspect, who was by himself, and the suspect licked off a shot. He escaped on foot and remains at large.

They didn’t mention the race of either the victim or the suspect, I guess because they felt this story didn’t necessarily have anything to do with race. A lot of times, you can tell just by the names of the people involved (no racist hiring practices), but they might not be revealed in this case, since they might be kids.

Don’t be surprised though if you hear about some suspicious new laws being passed down in the Loop. It’s an outdoor area, so it’d probably be pretty difficult to bar young n-bombs from entering. But I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some sort of sagging pants law put into effect, or something along those lines.

And I won’t be surprised when mofos try to claim that it’s racist, or that I’m racist for supporting it. Meanwhile, I’m the one who’s the real victim in this. Now I’m gonna have to sweat whether my pants are on right when I’m down there trying to cop a burrito. You guys know I struggle to find pants that fit right.

Recommended For You

Around the Web

Best of XXL

Leave a Comment

It appears that you already have an account created within our VIP network of sites on . To keep your personal information safe, we need to verify that it's really you. To activate your account, please confirm your password. When you have confirmed your password, you will be able to log in through Facebook on both sites.

Forgot your password?

It appears that you already have an account on this site associated with . To connect your existing account just click on the account activation button below. You will maintain your existing VIP profile. After you do this, you will be able to always log in to http://www.xxlmag.com using your original account information.

Please fill out the information below to help us provide you a better experience.

(Forgot your password?)

Not a member? Sign up here

Sign up for XXL Mag quickly by connecting your Facebook account. It's just as secure and no password to remember!