NEGRO PLEASE: Michael Phelps is the Young Jeezy of…

[Editor's Note: "Blogger's Note" has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice.]

It’s Jeezy Week here at “Negro, Please!”

“I’m a big fan of Michael Phelps! He’s a great success. I like what he’s doing. He’s like the Young Jeezy of the swim world. I love it!”Young Jeezy, Rolling Stone’s Rock & Roll Daily

How the hell is Young Jeezy gonna compare himself to an Olympic swimmer? Y’all know damn well niggas do not “fuck with the waterrrrrr,” as Midget Mac would say.

While watching the Olympics last week Jeezy must have sat back, looked at his mantle, shined up his Ozone awards and thought “Yeaaaaah. Michael Phelps! Get like me!”

Later in the interview, when asked if he ever goes swimming Jeezy responded, “No, man. Somebody threw me in a pool once when I was younger and I had to work it out, but other than that, no.” I’m sure Phelps feels the exact same way about rapping.

“I went to an 8 Mile party when I was in high school. The black guy from our school went first and I had to work it out, but other than that, I don’t fucks with the rap-ping!”

Let me guess, Usain Bolt is the Jeezy of the sprinting world?

Here’s a little more Negro Please mathematics for the chillens:

Ozone Awards < Olympic gold medals (That’s for any who may have been confused.)

You have to win something to compare to a champion of any kind. I got an Ozone award and I didn’t even rap last year. If there’s a musical parallel to be made then perhaps Phelps is more like the Carlos Santana of the swim world.

Not even in the wildest of fried chicken nightmares is this nigga Jeezy anything like Michael Phelps. He might could be Michaelangelo with his Ninja Turtle lookin-ass. Mike Jones can rock the purple mask as Donatello. Let Jadakiss play Leonardo and we’ve got it down.

Jeezy should try popping some shit like this during Winter X Games. At least there’s some snowwwww, mannnnn.

“Shaun White is the Young Jeezy of this snowwwww shit.”

Jeezy’s claim has led me to ponder exactly how much training goes into “YEEEEEAAAAAH!” Dude might have the 12,000-calorie post-blunt diet part down, but I think Phelps’ training just barely eeeks out the effort put into perfecting those unforgettable adlibs.

Negro, please. I could see the training session now:

Personal Trainer: Let me get a good one.

Young Jeezy: *grimacing* DEEAAMMN!

PT: Come on, my nigga. Get that money off your chest!

YJ: DEEEEEEEAAAAMMMMMNNN!!!!

PT: Alright, one more. Like you’re taking a monster barbecue ribs and cole slaw shit!

YJ: *sweating profusely* DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNN!!!

PT: *slaps Jeezy on ass* THAT’S what the fuck I’m talkin about, shawty! NOW you ready to get in that booth! USDA!

The fucked up part is I hear Gucci Mane has been training all of Team Atlanta for the SDNCAA Tournament this September. They ain’t dopin. They ain’t using steroids. Theeeeeyn’t play’n witcha!

As far as Jeezy goes, much like the swimmers and sprinters challenging Phelps and Bolt this summer, nigga need stay in his own lane.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Wade in the waterrrrr? ron@ronmexicocity.com

P.S.: Don’t get gassed because “Go Getta” is in Phelps’ iPod shuffle. That song is hot because of Kells anyway.

P.P.S.: Jeezy really filled our queue up with stupid shit this weekend. Anyone care to take a stab at tomorrow’s tidbit?

  • E

    LAST

    • Tha Ace

      ehh we didn’t need a write up, we know it was tardish

      but………trick trick beat young berg’s ass, so whoever is smotherin that kids cock needs to post that lil tid bit too and not just stories on his worthless and rambling interviews

    • yo

      OZONE MAGAZINE > XXL MAGAZINE….NEGRO PLEASE ON XXL’S LAST 5 ISSUES

  • MIMI

    why did u tag Eminem on this???

    wtf??? u wasted my time homie

    i wanna read about eminem and u put me sum swimming – rapping thing??

    • Pierzy

      ‘Cause of the “8 Mile” reference. I doubt it Mr. Mexico that did that anyway…

    • YO

      your time is worth wasting hoe nigga

  • Pierzy

    What up Mex – how was the weekend, my dude? Yo, Jeezy is straight garbage. Michael Phelps is the greatest, most decorated swimmer ever and arguably one of the best Olympians ever, meaning he’s one of the best athletes ever to compete. So, for Jeezy to keep up the comparison, he’d have to be the best and most decorated rapper EVER (he’s not) and therefore one of the greatest musicians EVER (guess what, he’s not). Ugh. SDN hopefuls unite.

    On another note, if this is true-
    “He might could be Michaelangelo with his Ninja Turtle lookin-ass. Mike Jones can rock the purple mask as Donatello. Let Jadakiss play Leonardo and we’ve got it down”
    -then who would be Splinter?

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      whattup, p?

      damn right. jeezy would have to be the most decorated rapper ever AND he’d have to bring down the most gold in one sitting. he’s not even the most decorated or respected rapper in his own town.

      we don’t have a raphael either.

      help!

      and i totally put the tags. i had no idea they were so damn effective.

      • Pierzy

        Raphael? Maybe Suge, especially since he wears red?

        I was trying to get your back on the tags scandal.

        Keep on killin’ em, Mex!!

    • Sonic

      Snoop D o double g

      • Sonic

        As Splinter, I meant

    • LD

      hmm RZA would fit the splinter role

  • Mike Stone

    bro this is prolly the funniest Negro Please ive read in a while

    • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

      hahaha. good lookin.

      if you chuckled out loud at some point, i’ve done my job.

  • http://www.myspace.com damion

    DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNN!!!

    FUNNY!
    I’m getting The Recession – GET IT @#$S!

  • master cheef

    the funniest part about that midget mac clip is dude had on a life jacket, anyway. what do you need a floatie for?

    those barbecue rib and cole slaw shits are no laughing matter. I had the shit juice from one burn thru my toilet paper like hot acid.

    this was a good post. lol at jeezy and his personal trainer’s convo.

  • Worley

    Mexico you a fool wit’ it.

    Note to other bloggers: he’s killin’ y’all jive turkeys.

  • Leo

    The Game could be Raphael…alwasy trying to be a leader and a rebel for nooooooooooooooo reason…that albums hot tho…Fuck Jeezy….yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaah!!!

  • 239allday

    I think Mike Jones wins the award on the Look alikes section. He looks the most like a ninja turtle than anyone. I like Weezy but he kind of looks like Master Splinter though.

    Hip Hop is dead<<<<<<Saturday morning cartoons is dead

  • the artist

    yung berg = splinter

  • John Brown

    RON,

    Great Post once again…I had a feeling you would write about it when I first read the story. For tomorrow NEGRO PLEASE segment you should write about Swizz Beatz. I mean he has a song called “MONEY IN THE BANK” but yet he owes the IRS $900,000.00 that right there is some NEGRO PLEASE.

    ***Ron, also I know that GAME had a few NEGRO PLEASE moments in the past week but I read somewhere that he says “DRE can’t finish DETOX without me.” I am not supporting free publicity but that qoute right there is the BIGGEST NEGRO PLEASE MOMENT in GAME’S carrer. Just my thoughts.***

  • geico lizard

    “i can fit like 8 gold medals in my louis bag”LOL you know that will pop up in a jeezy/blood raw freestyle. you killed it again ron. as long as we are on an olympic theme let that usa gymnastics girl i think her name is shawn johnson play splinter she looks like a mouse in the face when she smiles.

  • Pierzy

    How about this for the next Negro Please segment:

    “Singer Daddy Yankee endorses GOP’s John McCain for president”

  • slim

    there’s no way jeezy can be compared to phelps. jeezy has to compare himself to shawty lo and soulja boy and needs to take some economics classes to learn what a recession is

  • geico lizard

    i hadnt heard that daddy yankee news but i was hoping black and brown could come together behind obama.

  • giantstepp

    Ayo, Ron Mex, me and the homies stayed in the pool as youngstas during the summer. I gotta disagree with the black folk don’t swim thing. Once we hit 14/15 we got into shooting dice and girls, but the pool was mandatory before then. It was like that all over the hood too. IDK, maybe that was a DC thing!

  • MikeD

    Ron Mexico is the Michael Phelps of the blog game. Last two posts were hilarious!

    • Pierzy

      Hell yeah – my dude is killin’ it!

  • http://eye95.tv beeyo

    Scarface kinda looks like a TMNT, but he’s to old for Raphael. I don’t know…But yo, Ninja Turtles stay in the water!!! How could Jeezy be a turtle and not swim? THAT nigga is lyin, he swims.


    Bushwick Bill looks like Krang. I’m drunk.

  • http://www.xxlmag.com Benicio Del Thoro

    Whoa, what’s up with Yung Berg gettin his transformers chain snatched (no Shia LaBeouf) in my sister city….Detroit what!

    Here’s a lil FYI, when you go to Detroit and you’re a rapper, DO NOT say anything in you’re live shows, on your records, magazines about Detroit. You better thank
    God you make it out alive, because some people will take that to heart.

    I fuckin love my state!

  • Lowedwn

    Ron…Good Shit for a Monday as usual, but….nigga, Yung Turd got served in the D, can we speak on that shit, ’cause when i read about that this morning a nigga laughed up his corn pops n shit. Speak On it mane, or rather Hate On It.

  • Lowedwn

    Oh yeah, I thought Styles P was the 4th Ninja Turtle by default?

  • render

    Young Jeezy is the Charlie Villanueva of rap

  • The Abominable Mex

    Ron Mexico,

    Funny shit man! How about that dude from the Lunatics as Casey Jones?

  • D.D.

    If XXLMag.com is Atlanta, Ron Mex right now is the T.I. of blogging. He’s damn good, getting more peoples respect from drop to drop, in posession of excellent skills and he’s still hungry.

    However, he still has a lot to prove until he is equal with the true A-town legends in Outkast (=Byron C).

    Keep fighting and you just might knock that fat dude out of his throne.

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  • D.D.

    Also, people over at Okayplayer seem to love the drops from “The recession” thus far. I don’t have to tell you what that means, but: Jeezy’s lost it. Rhyming (in his own astmathic flow) over old soul songs makes the backpackers all teary eyed. To me, it’s a sure sign of loserdom.

    Jeezy = now officially over the hill.

  • Three4

    Jeezy is just comparing himself to Michael Phelps because Phelps listens 2 Jeezy before swimming according 2 himself…

  • Hawaiian

    damn that training skit had me rollin!!

  • C-o-c-k

    LOL I actually agree with this blog. Jeezy SUCKS ASS compared to Phelps

  • Medina

    The only thing u need to write about is KCI & JOJO.
    There are so much Negro Please moment in that little piece of musical history, you’re gonna have to pull an all-nighter.
    In Amsterdam it’s 3 AM and i wanna wake up to some Talkin video flashback type of shit.

    PS.: Midget Mike i feel sorry for you. It’s a sad day when the funniest thing a team of well paid writers can come up with is a drowning lil nigga midget with dreads.
    Betta get you some of that Hollywood.

  • Oneofthemyo’s

    Nigga your post cool especially the skits,but fuck all that BIGGUP USAIN BOLT these hatin ass yankees was mad cause they got spanked by a nigga who DONT DO DRUGS the shit got them yanks befuddled(?????) BIGGUP BOLT AND THE WHOLE JAMAICAN OLYMPIC TEAM BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Oneofthemyo’s

    Nigga your post cool especially the skits,but fuck all that BIGGUP USAIN BOLT these hatin ass yankees was mad cause they got spanked by a nigga who DONT DO DRUGS the shit got them yanks befuddled(?????) BIGGUP BOLT AND THE WHOLE JAMAICAN OLYMPIC TEAM BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAHBLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, BULLET BULLET

  • http://www.poseidonswimmingpools.com Swimming Pool Contractor

    He was the MAN. I really never got interested in the sport until he kept breaking records and winning gold medals. I hope he gets PAID for all of his hard work. Maybe a multi million dollar endorsement by speedo or something.

  • Shawty J

    Negro Please > Half of the rest of XXLmag.com

  • Maddolies

    Lol That Shit was hilarious. I Didnt really care 4 Phelps 2 Be Honest Though.. Bolt Was Much More Impressive.

  • Tony Grand$

    Damn Mex, ur the man homie! Ya blogs blow the fuck up before a nigga can even get to read the shit! Keep it icy bruh! Brrrrrrrrrr! Mike Phelps is the man, just as long as the niggas not a knob gobbler. By now, we shouldve heard some TMZ-esque rumors bout him and some heroin-sheek supermodel, but no dice. If my dude is stuntin the No Homo badge, more power to his Aquaman ass. And Jeezy, cats more like the Micheal Redd of the olympics. Some nice shots, but overall we don’t really miss him too much when he’s on the bench. And as for TMNT, we all forgettin bout April? Who’s gon play her? My vote, Wendy Williams. TwoHunnid!

  • RedemptionsSong

    Jeezy just pulled a Phelps comeback for the SDN of the year award, setting up a photo finish with The Game

  • Tony Grand$

    Damn Redemption, ur right! That nigga Jeezy saw Jim Jones inchin towards that coveted award and had to outdumb evrybody. But yo, let’s not count Jimmy out just yet. That’s a smart dumb ass motherfucka right there! Its still a couple days to go……..

  • Simple like ABC, 123

    Any medalist of 2008 Olympic games > Young Jeezy

  • http://XXLMAG.COM INTERNET BULLY

    RON…. UMMMMM… MAAAAAAN… I THINK THAT IF JEEZY WOULD HAVE SAID THAT IN A RAP INSTEAD OF AN INTERVEIW… THAT LINE WOULD HAVE WENT UNOTICED… SHOT OUT TO 239ALLDAY… I COSIGN YOU ON THAT…

  • treezy

    USDA Nigga!!!!

    (wtf does USDA supposed to me anyway?!?)

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