NEGRO PLEASE: Michael Phelps is the Young Jeezy of…
[Editor’s Note: “Blogger’s Note” has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice.]
It’s Jeezy Week here at “Negro, Please!”
“I’m a big fan of Michael Phelps! He’s a great success. I like what he’s doing. He’s like the Young Jeezy of the swim world. I love it!” – Young Jeezy, Rolling Stone’s Rock & Roll Daily
How the hell is Young Jeezy gonna compare himself to an Olympic swimmer? Y’all know damn well niggas do not “fuck with the waterrrrrr,” as Midget Mac would say.
While watching the Olympics last week Jeezy must have sat back, looked at his mantle, shined up his Ozone awards and thought “Yeaaaaah. Michael Phelps! Get like me!”
Later in the interview, when asked if he ever goes swimming Jeezy responded, “No, man. Somebody threw me in a pool once when I was younger and I had to work it out, but other than that, no.” I’m sure Phelps feels the exact same way about rapping.
“I went to an 8 Mile party when I was in high school. The black guy from our school went first and I had to work it out, but other than that, I don’t fucks with the rap-ping!”
Let me guess, Usain Bolt is the Jeezy of the sprinting world?
Here’s a little more Negro Please mathematics for the chillens:
Ozone Awards < Olympic gold medals (That’s for any who may have been confused.)
You have to win something to compare to a champion of any kind. I got an Ozone award and I didn’t even rap last year. If there’s a musical parallel to be made then perhaps Phelps is more like the Carlos Santana of the swim world.
Not even in the wildest of fried chicken nightmares is this nigga Jeezy anything like Michael Phelps. He might could be Michaelangelo with his Ninja Turtle lookin-ass. Mike Jones can rock the purple mask as Donatello. Let Jadakiss play Leonardo and we’ve got it down.
Jeezy should try popping some shit like this during Winter X Games. At least there’s some snowwwww, mannnnn.
“Shaun White is the Young Jeezy of this snowwwww shit.”
Jeezy’s claim has led me to ponder exactly how much training goes into “YEEEEEAAAAAH!” Dude might have the 12,000-calorie post-blunt diet part down, but I think Phelps’ training just barely eeeks out the effort put into perfecting those unforgettable adlibs.
Negro, please. I could see the training session now:
Personal Trainer: Let me get a good one.
Young Jeezy: *grimacing* DEEAAMMN!
PT: Come on, my nigga. Get that money off your chest!
PT: Alright, one more. Like you’re taking a monster barbecue ribs and cole slaw shit!
YJ: *sweating profusely* DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAMMMMMMMNNNN!!!
PT: *slaps Jeezy on ass* THAT’S what the fuck I’m talkin about, shawty! NOW you ready to get in that booth! USDA!
The fucked up part is I hear Gucci Mane has been training all of Team Atlanta for the SDNCAA Tournament this September. They ain’t dopin. They ain’t using steroids. Theeeeeyn’t play’n witcha!
As far as Jeezy goes, much like the swimmers and sprinters challenging Phelps and Bolt this summer, nigga need stay in his own lane.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Wade in the waterrrrr? firstname.lastname@example.org
P.S.: Don’t get gassed because “Go Getta” is in Phelps’ iPod shuffle. That song is hot because of Kells anyway.
P.P.S.: Jeezy really filled our queue up with stupid shit this weekend. Anyone care to take a stab at tomorrow’s tidbit?