Top 5 Reasons To Go To Jail…

I wish that I could get some of these records sent to me like Bol or Jay Smooth. Then I could listen to them and review them like a normal person would. Instead I have to scour the internets for .rar links and hope that shit doesn’t unleash the bootlegging virus on my Blacbook. Worse would be to tip the authorities hand that I have downloaded some music illegally. There is some shit that is worth going to jail for. Downloading shitty ass rap music is NOT on that list.

Sorry family, but the new G-Unit album as fuego as it may be isn’t worth even a short stay in central booking. There is some shit though that is worth being arrested for. I’m not saying that being arrested should ever be something you aspire to, but is certain instances if you were arrested I would totally understand. Earl Simmons, take notes.

Embezzlement – What the fuck is embezzlement? I have never known a Black to get knocked for embezzlement. Blacks get arrested or stick-ups and break-ins. Embezzlers are muggers who use accounting books as their guns and knives. Get into it youngins.

Stock fraud – Insider trading has been that sexy shit for a minute. The best part of it is that when you get caught then send you to a jail that is like a sleepaway camp.

Computer systems manipulation (hacker) – If you do this shit just to download entertainment then you are losing. If you do this shit to help the entire globe download and distribute files then you are winning. Until you get caught…

Bank robber – If you can pull off a bank job for over ten stacks, which you more than likely can’t, then it will be worth the arrest. If you rob a bank and get a bag full of that exploding ink then you have just wasted yours and everyone elses time, except for the sheriffs that will be hauling your ass away.

Vehicular manslaughter – Killing people is bad, but killing people with your automobile is hardbody.

Shit NOT worth being arrested for…

Narcotics distribution
Mugging someone
Hopping the train
Pissing in public
Kicking your girlfriend’s ass

Step your felonious nature up rap fans.

  • http://xxlmag.com Bol

    These labels would never send me anything to review. I might say something negative.

  • YG Stanley

    What about the good Jailhouse recipes courtesy of OG Trustees? Constant adrenaline rush of not knowing if you’ll be alive the next day knowing you’ve been locked up for 5 years and your gettin’ out in two weeks? Scholarly debates with the good ol Aryan Lowrider Gang and La Eme?

  • og bobby j

    lets not forget laundering….gettin a check of clean someones dirty bread is less risky then committing the actual crime

  • http://www.plasticsquirtguns.blogspot.com thoreauly77

    shit, every time i end up in jail it has something to do with booze.

    other things worth getting arrested for:

    direct action protests
    beating the shit out of anyone who fucks with your family
    skating love park

  • Combat Jack

    ^ “Computer systems manipulation (hacker) – If you do this shit just to download entertainment then you are losing. If you do this shit to help the entire globe download and distribute files then you are winning. Until you get caught…”

    Then you do a short stay and upon being released, have mad major corporations busting their asses to hire you to prevent their shit from getting hacked and to help them hack into their competitor’s systems. Hell jiyeah, worth getting arrested for.

  • Ms. Toson

    Me and my collegues were discussing this earlier. The funny thing about it, we all agreed that if we were going to do time for crime, embezzlement would be our reason with stock fraud as an option.

  • henry

    just find yourself a rap forum and they have everything

    my forum has all types of shit

  • Hold Tight The UK Garage And Grime… UK I Rep Thats Me When I Rhyme!

    These labels would never send me anything to review. I might say something negative.

    ^

    LOL… Really? Just maybe!

  • Avenger xl

    let me keep it one hunid.

    It is so easy to get music these days you don’t have to even go to file sharing services any more. I feel most sorry for indy cats because they get very little exposure and illegal downloads ain’t helping the situation. But at least there is exposure if there was only a way to at least set it up so they can get some show money and sell some swag the music can be a calling card and the performance or life style can be the product.

    We don’t consume art we consume artists.

  • Rizob

    funny post,i pretty much agree with you on most, but T.O.S. is the opposite of “fuego”

    Kidz Bop 19 >>>>>>>> T.O.S.

    • ATL = All Trannies Live

      Young Buck crying on the phone >>>> T.O.S.

      • Rizob

        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^HELL YEAH!!!! LOL

        Shaq’s freestyle>>>>>>>>>>> T.O.S.

  • 239allday

    I didn’t even see this post, I been stuck on that best punhline post. (Gotdamn…Good job XXL)

    I would definitely rather get knocked for these blue collar crimes. Feds be bustin these white boys and keepin em comfy in the jail Paris and Martha was chillin in. I call what them hoes was doin summer camp, basically lampin.

    Niggas need to review that episode of Chapelle show where the Tron’s situation get’s replaced with the White, blue collar embezzler. Shit’s Hilarious.

    • Dub Sac

      I’m baggin the coke up as fast as I can!

  • ATL = All Trannies Live

    who would want to go to the “bootyhouse” jail for anything (nullus)?

  • 6MillionDollarMan

    LOL Embezzlement? Bank robber? Forget all that.

    It’s all about money laundering. You not doing nothing if you aint money laundering.

  • http://www.theunderwriters.blogspot.com THE UNDERWRITER

    I just spray Lysol on my drug money and hope the dirty smell goes away.

  • Peru

    show you how far niggas are from intellectual crime…239allday, those coporate crimes ARE NOT BLUE COLLAR CRIMES!!! Coporate Crimes are WHITE COLLAR CRIMES!!! BLUE COLLAR CRIMES are what niggas do everyday…And what President Bush is doing with the gas is known as CLEAR COLLAR CRIMES, so slick you cant even see that shit!!!

    • 239allday

      My bad nigga, I’m in the streets , Fuck I know about blue collar and white collar? I don’t fuck with collars, just hoodies and skullies.

      Get money nigga, stay off my piece!!!

      • 239allday

        I do it the SKI-MASK way nigga! Fuck white collar!!!

        239, 509
        WHERE MY ZOES AT!!!

  • akaTheRealist

    White Collar Crimes Are The Shit. You already know something’s the shit when it’s got White Collar in its title, let alone a wikipedia definition like the following: “Within the field of criminology, white-collar crime or ‘incorporated governance’ has been defined by Edwin Sutherland as “a crime committed by a person of respectability and high social status in the course of his occupation.”

  • Maddolies

    Well That Was SHit. Do U Just Wake Up Everyday And Go “Hmm I Wonder Wat Garbage I Can Write 2dae dat Will Make Me Look Ignorant”

  • Big Willie

    Music in a fucked up spot now…why anyone wanna fuck with the lyrical content they spitten theses days I dont know. These beefs out there..Ice T…thats Clown shit..Dont get me started…but I will say its real sad.We need to get to 2010.Start some new agenda…This is Wack..YOU KNOW THIS THO…DETROIT ALL DAY

  • http://www.xxlmag.com Benicio Del Thoro

    Sunday,

    That new G-Unit is fire. If you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime

  • http://www.ronmexicocity.com Ron Mexico

    damn. as per your suggestion, i been smackin my bitches up.

    now you sayin the shit ain’t cool no more?

    i’m all fucked up in the game, holmes.

  • Tony Grand$

    5 more reasons NOT to get locked up…
    1)TERRORIST THREATS-fuck u talkin for? Handle urs and be out!
    2)ANIMAL CRUELTY-stop beatin ya pits while the neighbors waterin they grass niggas! U know they nosey as ya girl!
    3)ANY HARM TO CHILDREN-yous a bitch from the giddy up. Fuck lock up, somebody just lay this nigga down.
    4)SHOPLIFTING-window shoppers gone wild! Get a job idiot!
    And…
    5)PUBLIC INTOXICATION-thats just some bullshit. Take ya ass back inside man.
    Either way you see it, fuck federali.
    ***323 IS ACTIVE!***

  • BIGNAT

    tham billy i usually agree with you but no lock up for Narcotics distribution and
    Kicking your girlfriend’s ass. you want a world of sucker ass niggas who beat there women. i say if you puss enough to strike a women throw you with the real men. see if you can treat them the same. also Narcotics distribution leads to violence in the streets. shit i don’t wanna get shot just because 2 groups wanna fight over a corner that makes the most money. just in the end to wind up paying the same person to get there product because they selling the same shit. the real money is in high level blackmail do it to corporate people. not government people they will make your ass disappear

  • http://xxlmag.com Billy X. Sunday

    ^ Did you read the drop?!?

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