NEGRO PLEASE: Yung Berg’s WHITE Club
[Editor’s Note: “Blogger’s Note” has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice]
Hold that left hook, Brisco. Yung Berg seems to be taking the touchdown in himself.
Yep, Grossman’s calling his own number. Hang back, my nigga.
“I’m kinda racist… I don’t really like dark butts too much… It’s rare that I do dark butts. Like really rare… It’s like, no darker than me. No darker than me. I love the pool test…. If you can be like ‘Yo, baby. I met you in the club. Let’s go back to my house. Jump in the pool exactly like you are.’–And you don’t come looking better wet than you were before you got in the pool then that’s not a good look.” –Yung Berg, Lip Service podcast
I hate to go back-to-back on a coontastic nigga like this, but Ronnie can’t let this shit here ride.
This shit right here, nigga. Right here, this shit?
I thought we got past this shit in School Daze. I’m amazed that this degree of coonery comes from a rapper who has made no bones about his target audience being women who like “urban” music.
Question of the Day: If Yung Berg fully alienates all the “dark butts,” who exactly is going to buy his frisbees?
“The pool test” sounds like the fucked up yupster rap star version of the paper bag test.
What are dark women now, poodles? They don’t look as good wet? Obviously this nigga hasn’t been by the African spot to pick up that one DVD, Black Wet Booty Vol—Wait. Nevermind. I mean… Berg’s doing his damnedest to propagate the devaluation and degradation of our melanin-enhanced sistren.
So what’s this post-club pool party actually look like?
Yung Berg: I’m sorry. I gotta give it to you straight… If you can’t come out of that pool miraculously looking like a white bitch for me… It’s a no-go, Dark Butt.
Shaniqua: *nods head* Okay. *splashes down to bottom of pool and quickly resurfaces*
YB: *inspecting Shaniqua’s hair, skin and gums* Nope. Sorry. Still a dark butt.
The car service number is on the counter. There are some Terra Chips on the kitchen table. The front door slam-locks.
I find it quite ironic that a pit bull-lookin nigga like Yung Berg even plays around in a pool after the whole Mike Vick situation. I’d have thought swimming pools to be icons of oppression within the pit bull terrier community.
This nigga obviously lacks in scruple across the board.
Shaniqua gets to sit alone in a dark kitchen staring confusedly at a bag of Terra chips (looking for the Utz logo) while a fairer-skinned chick with pumped up lips, padded ass, fake titties and cheaper doorknockers than hers pulls into the driveway.
Obviously Berg’s rationale behind the pool test is pure bullshit. He might as well run the witch test. We’ll dunk her. If she floats, she’s a dark butt. Kill her. If she sinks, “Oopsie. We were wrong about Dark Butt.” Besides, some of these white girls might leave a titty or an asscheek in the pool if they surface themselves too quickly.
Berg won’t care. He’ll just bat his eyelashes [they stay in place] and sing “Whitey Can I?” until he’s granted permission to beat.
I know EVERYONE has a sexual preference, but damn. At least I didn’t have to call dude a racist.
Fuck this coon-ditioned nigga and his bitchassness. More dark butts for me.
Questions? Comments? Requests? Need to know where to get that good Yaki that’ll hold in a pool? email@example.com
For anyone wondering, Yung Berg is DEFINITELY the top vote-getter in Negro [Please] League All-Star voting.
Ugh. I need to take another shower and listen to “Brown Skin Lady.”