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NEGRO PLEASE: Terrence Apologizes To Rosci… Kinda

[Editor’s Note: “Blogger’s Note” has been taken over by Ron Mexico until further notice]

Mario had best tread carefully. If he doesn’t have another hit record in him soon, he may as well make himself comfortable on that 106 & Park couch.

“Dear Rocsi,

You and I have been together for 2 years and in that time we have become family. But sometimes we foolishly take family for granted. And sometimes with family we take it too far. So let me say, my dearest Roczilla, I took it too far that Friday with my comment and I hope that you’ll forgive me. You are one of the most beautiful, talented and ambitions people I know. And even the idea that I may have hurt you with my teasing has made me sad. From the bottom of my heart I hope that I’ll never never never never hurt you again. It’s just not the same. A strong man needs a strong woman. So, Rocsi please continue to be my rock.

I’ve had to take some time off from the show now, but I hope to see you soon.

Terrence J? via Mario, BET 106 & Park Live

Stop. Wait. Reverse the tape.

How the fuck is Terrence gonna apologize through Mario? Ain’t that about some bitch nigga shit? Not that I expected any better, but damn. Why doesn’t he just Sidekick Rocsi like every other time he wants to beat? In this particular instance, instead of forwarded ghetto prom pictures the message can contain a sweet, sincere nugget of love.

Why involve another party?

Terrence probably didn’t even write that shit. I could see that buffoon at home watching the episode like “Damn, Mario. Good looks, my nigga!” and getting right back to stirring the Kool-Aid pitcher. Kinda like Cyrano de Bourgie Black.

For discussion’s sake let’s say The Negro Channel forced him to he did actually write that letter. I bet he couldn’t have imagined Rocsi’s apparent reaction.

You could hear Rocsi’s womanhood sloshing against the shore when Mario gets to the “beautiful, talented & ambitious” part. She was open like whoa at that point. The entire audience was. There was a 16-and-under flash flood warning. BET was a few seconds away from being liable to run that severe weather warning across the bottom of the screen (like real networks do).

Rocsi couldn’t uncross her legs at any point for fear of revealing a Fergie spot.

The only thing that could have made this better would been Rocsi addressing the crazed Class of 2010 with the following:

“No, no. It’s cool. I love [Terrence]. That’s my brother y’all. It’s cool. I’mma roc with the nigga when he come back. That’s why they call me ‘Rocsi’ because I’ll still roc with a nigga.”

Wait for it… Wait for it…

“And I’ve got an announcement too… I’m 2 months pregnant!”

BET should suspend all other programming and just write shit like this. They’d have the top teen soap opera in the country easily. Fuck Baldwin Hills. Fuck College Hill. Fuck The Hillz. Fuck Hillman College, Grant Hill, Hill Harper, Augustus Hill, Sugar Hill Gang… anything with “Hill” in it. Just continue to go with the corny-ass host drama. It’s working out well for everyone involved.

If you’re wondering whether or not this new direction of programming is evil enough for BET, I ran the idea by a Harvard nigga. He loved it. Don’t worry. 106 & Park will be just as corrosive to the brains of our children as it’s always been.

We have multiple “Negro Please” awards to hand out today. Please hold your applause until all the names have been read.

Negro, please. Terrence J probably didn’t write that letter.

Negro, please. If Terrence wrote that letter he’s certainly smacked a few girlfriends up. (It’s always them little chicken scrap niggas that be smacking the ladies around.) That shit read like the abusive boyfriend letter from jail. Nigga gave the whole “You know when I get home I’mma be a different man” routine.

Okay. I guess I’m the only one whose moms got handed that one.

Negro, please. Mario, why are you getting in the middle of this foolery? Nevermind. I know why. But I’m sayin… I’m nobody’s carrier pigeon. I believe in grown mens and womens keeping lines of communication as open and direct as possible. Anything less is High School Musical.

Negro, please. Rocsi don’t take him back. He’s only going to hurt you again.

Questions? Comments? Requests? Eat the cake, Anna Mae.

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